MSE Parents Club Part 16

elainec

hi, does anyone remember the name of the site where you pay £5 to join and you get things sent out to test then you complete a questionnaire on them? Someone mentioned it on here way back and cant find the info for it!

missymoo81

Morning,

I have had yet another night of 2 hrs sleep! That's 3 in a row, feel like absolute rubbish. He's 4 weeks old and used to sleep a lot better.

The problem I have is after feeding, baby falls asleep and i wind him, which no matter how hard i try isnt always successful, i swaddle him up, with his arms out as he likes to suck his fists sometimes, within 5 minutes, he is whinging and kicking his legs out and does that for the next hour and a half sometimes breaking into proper crying where i get him out and try and wind him again, hes often quite sicky too. He has infacol before every feed, and if gripe water after if hes screaming. He will breastfeed every 2 hours for half an hour. But this goes on all night, i can walk him up and down and after a while he might quieten down and appear to fall asleep, but if i even so much as try to put him in his crib, he wakes up and starts screaming.

I really am getting to my wits end and find myself getting upset, cross and frustrated, i cant go on with this little amount of sleep, i cant even begin to function.

Can anyone give me any tips on getting his wind up, or helping with his colic, or getting him to atleast sleep, am practically in tears, i just don't know what to do, told the HV yesterday, but she said all babies are different and unfortunately there is no cure for colic but will get better with age. Am going to cut out dairy and gluten from my diet and see if that helps.

sorry to whinge

jennynoo

Wonder_Womble wrote: »

Yeah that's what we are trying to do, I think it made a marginal difference last night.

Jenny I am trying to exclusively BF but with LO's sleep pattern being upside down, sometimes it is hard to wake her to feed. Do you know if we should be waking her up through the night to feed, or just let her sleep and wake herself when hungry?

I would be inclined not to wake a sleeping baby I think only if LO is loosing weight should you be waking them up to feed. (Loosing weight is not the same as going up and down on the percentiles on the growth chart which is totally normal). You can try dream feeding at night where you don't wake them but just give them at a time that suits you ie. when you go to bed. Are you sleeping close together at night? That would help give signals and may also help her settle more at night. I'm big fan of bedsharing, it has to be done safely and does take a bit of getting used to - just like getting used to sharing a bed with anyone but it has loads of benefits. I posed a link recently http://www.unicef.org.uk/Documents/Baby_Friendly/Leaflets/HPs_Guide_to_Coping_At_Night_Final.pdf page 15-17 has information about bed sharing. Eventually you can do dream feeding without either of you really waking up - total bliss! I know it's not for everyone though so I would just try keeping LO as close at possible.

I should have said yesterday, anyone who has any problems, issues, questions about breastfeeding should call the helpline number below, they are really experienced staff that answer the phones - much better than me - and will help you to stop feeding if that is what you want or help you to carry on.

jennynoo

missymoo81 wrote: »

Morning,

I have had yet another night of 2 hrs sleep! That's 3 in a row, feel like absolute rubbish. He's 4 weeks old and used to sleep a lot better.

The problem I have is after feeding, baby falls asleep and i wind him, which no matter how hard i try isnt always successful, i swaddle him up, with his arms out as he likes to suck his fists sometimes, within 5 minutes, he is whinging and kicking his legs out and does that for the next hour and a half sometimes breaking into proper crying where i get him out and try and wind him again, hes often quite sicky too. He has infacol before every feed, and if gripe water after if hes screaming. He will breastfeed every 2 hours for half an hour. But this goes on all night, i can walk him up and down and after a while he might quieten down and appear to fall asleep, but if i even so much as try to put him in his crib, he wakes up and starts screaming.

I really am getting to my wits end and find myself getting upset, cross and frustrated, i cant go on with this little amount of sleep, i cant even begin to function.

Can anyone give me any tips on getting his wind up, or helping with his colic, or getting him to atleast sleep, am practically in tears, i just don't know what to do, told the HV yesterday, but she said all babies are different and unfortunately there is no cure for colic but will get better with age. Am going to cut out dairy and gluten from my diet and see if that helps.

sorry to whinge

Hey Missymoo, I wouldn't start restricting your diet, as I posted last night what you eat shouldn't affect LO, it will only harm you. It sounds to me like you are doing your best and it's still early days, babies that age do change rapidly so I promise what you are currently experiencing wont go on forever. LO could be having a bit of a growth spurt which usually only lasts a few days.

How is the breastfeeding going? Is it pain free and does LO finish each breast naturally? Have to tried having LO in bed with you? I mentioned in my last post the benefits of bedsharing and if it means you get more sleep it's got to be worth a try. Also keeping LO close to you during the day using a sling can help them be more content at night. Also have you tried feeding lying down, I do this, then it is only a simple matter of moving away once they are sleep instead of trying to lower them into a cot.

mirrorimage0

jennynoo wrote: »

lO will get good milk whatever your diet, you can eat junk food all the time and LO will still be getting everything they need from breastmilk however YOU will suffer so if you want to eat healthily do it for yourself and also it will be good practice for when you start getting LO on solid food.

Are you feeding on one side until LO is finished? This will insure they get the fatter milk towards the end of a feed and will feel fuller for longer. Also is the feeding pain free for you? If not LO may not be attached properly so may not be getting a good flow of milk. However with growth spurts feeding this often can be normal and there isn't much you can do, if you were bottle feeding you would still have to sit there for the same amount of time. Can you get to a breastfeeding clinic so they can check your latch for you? It might really make the difference.

thanks for the reply hun. x i have good days and bad weeks with food, issues from yrs of not eating, the kids have always eaten fine though, im actually a cook for my job and love making meals so know all the right things for feeding them lol how ironic.

LO latches on great and it hasnt been painful at all since about week 4 i think. yep feeding on onside till he is finished, i have given him a couple of bottles the past two nights and he has slept for about 4 hrs at atime so feel a bit more awake and refreshed now lol. im still breastfeeding him whilst making up my mind, one min i think no def bottle next min i feel guilty and thik im gonna keep on with the breastfeeding.

im sure i never worried thismuch with the other two (but it was a long time ago )

mirrorimage0

elainec wrote: »

hi, does anyone remember the name of the site where you pay £5 to join and you get things sent out to test then you complete a questionnaire on them? Someone mentioned it on here way back and cant find the info for it!

yep that was me its bizziebaby. i had sent out this week a electric double breastpump and bra, have also had a few other bits for the older boys to play with and try. it is good.x

missymoo81

thanks jennynoo, it is just so hard at the minute. BF I have always found pretty easy to be honest, baby latched on just after being born and thankfully it has never hurt feeding him. I feed baby from one breast and switch each time i feed him and he comes off it naturally. When he really doesnt settle and when i've really had enough, like 6 am i will put him in bed with us, OH then quietens him down and he'll go to sleep, trouble is OH can't sleep then, and the HV advised not to get into the habit of doing this. We have done it the last 2 mornings though as it is the only way i have been getting any sleep!!

Make-it-3

Wonder_Womble wrote: »

Oh that doesn't sound very good!! How old is your LO?
I am having the same problem and hoped it would settle down. LO is a week old today and seems to have some form of seperation anxiety during the night. But when myself or OH put her in her moses basket she will snooze for about 10 mins then wake up crying. OH has been up all night last night with her to let me get some sleep. She will happily sleep in there for about 45 mins to an hour during the day! Someone please tell me that this is normal and it will pass soon!?

I think you need to cut your LO some slack WW, she's a week old and probably still wondering who took away her warm, snug womb! Seriously, I'm a big believer in the 4th trimester theory - you should look into it - as it will help you feel better about your parenting skills and understand why they don't want to be separated from you.

Whereas my LO has been out longer than she was in (nearly 11 months), so doesn't have any excuse for acting like a week old babe!

MV congrats on the job - can't advise on the nursery situation. Do you have to work set days? Only nurseries are usually a lot emptier on Mondays and Fridays.

My interview only made me realise that the kind of work I do isn't something that can easily be done part time. They were asking how I would manage travel etc. Its left me quite confused about what to do.

Puzzledbubbles

missymoo81 wrote: »

thanks jennynoo, it is just so hard at the minute. BF I have always found pretty easy to be honest, baby latched on just after being born and thankfully it has never hurt feeding him. I feed baby from one breast and switch each time i feed him and he comes off it naturally. When he really doesnt settle and when i've really had enough, like 6 am i will put him in bed with us, OH then quietens him down and he'll go to sleep, trouble is OH can't sleep then, and the HV advised not to get into the habit of doing this. We have done it the last 2 mornings though as it is the only way i have been getting any sleep!!

Hi Missy,

Sorry to hear you are not getting much sleep - I have tried the following over the past few weeks (LO is now 13 weeks old) and i have found some that work and some that don't but thought i would list them all so you can see what works for you:

Offer both breasts at every feed
Let LO rest on the lap for a few minutes after coming off the breast - then try winding when you are relaxed - if screaming starts offer breast again
Wind baby by lying them across your lap and patting their back
Rest baby's stomach on your hands and hold them up from your lap (picture superman flying) get partner/other to assist if they are wriggly
Sit baby up on lap after feed as if you are going to wind by leaning them forward and holding their chin, then move baby in a circle 5 times (keep them seated and move the top half of their body only making sure head is supported front and back) and then reverse the direction and do 5 more rotations then resume patting
Alternate patting and rubbing
Lie baby on back and make a bicycle with legs
Lie baby on back and bring their knees up to their stomach by pusing on their feet
Lie baby on back and make clockwise circles on the stomach with the flat of your hand

As Emilia has got older she now finds it easier to bring the wind up herself - i would second the advice on not limiting your diet just yet, however, i would not suggest co sleeping - but that is my personal preference for a lot of reasons

It also might be worth trying some of the things above when LO is not suffering (if that makes sense) that way you have an idea of what works when he is calm and then can persist with it when you are fraught in the early hours of the morning.

Hope that something i have suggested is useful

Puzzled x

Wonder_Womble

Make-it-3 wrote: »

I think you need to cut your LO some slack WW, she's a week old and probably still wondering who took away her warm, snug womb! Seriously, I'm a big believer in the 4th trimester theory - you should look into it - as it will help you feel better about your parenting skills and understand why they don't want to be separated from you.

Whereas my LO has been out longer than she was in (nearly 11 months), so doesn't have any excuse for acting like a week old babe!

Thanks MI3, I've looked into that and it makes a lot of sense and seems to apply to my LO. It's made me feel better as I was feeling like a big fat failure with a constantly crying baby who couldn't be put down. I don't feel so bad about nursing her so much now. I think I'll get my baby carrier out tomorrow so that I can carry her about and potter on at the same time. OH is now online ordering me the book and some CDs.