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MSE Parents Club Part 16

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  • Thanks everyone susan he does have some appreciation as have done water aerobics twice so have been out of the house for a couple of hours and one time he was trying to do tidying up but angry with t when got upset (!). Thanks I do need sort naps out better it was ok but last few days he hasn't had a morning nap but think he wants one, he tends to wake up at 6/6:30 for a feed takes one breast then back to bed (he falls asleep on me and I'm tired so need more sleep but should I wake him??), then wakes about 7:30/7:45 DH changes him, has a play with him then by about 8ish I try feeding him again - he usually takes a bit but I have been struggling for him to take a proper feed maybe he's too over stimulated by then so think may feed him other side as soon as wakes at 7:30ish then can have time with DH?? At the mo after 8 I really struggle to feed him then try to put him for a nap at about 9/9:30 when seems tired but doesn't settle as hungry, so I feed him again but then falls asleep on me but as soon as put down awake!! He can settle on his own in motion chair in living room that rocks so want him to do this for 30/40 mins maybe - then if he does this we usually have a good lunchtime nap too but last few days first nap has been 11:30 which is far too late as is over tired by then. Any advice is welcome thanks!!

    Will also do the flylady thing too and can also do things whilst t is on gym/chair but I also do like going out too (have 2 groups on tues/thurs, meet friends every other mon, take t to grandma while i go swim on weds) but maybe should have a couple of days at home a week to get more things done, like on Friday and every other monday.
    Thomas born 28/08/2010 weighing 5lbs and 4ounces, small but perfectly formed :j:j Now weighs 19lbs and 5 ounces
  • SusanC_2
    SusanC_2 Posts: 5,344 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    I think he needs to learn to accept lower standards while T is small. He probably hasn't thought through how much time you actually spend doing things like feeding. I kept a record and I found that in the first three months bearing in mind that OH got holidays and weekends off, I spent as much time just breastfeeding as he did at work. Looking after a young baby is a full time job and since it is equivalent to going out to work full time, he should be expecting to share the household jobs. (I will say though I also had the advantage that OH had to do everything while I was pregnant and he was so used to doing them that I almost had to fight him to take them back.)
    Any question, comment or opinion is not intended to be criticism of anyone else.
    2 Samuel 12:23 Romans 8:28 Psalm 30:5
    "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die"
  • kitkat5566
    kitkat5566 Posts: 1,332 Forumite
    SirM my OH basically does nothing, I have odd days where I loose the plot at the state of the house but at the mo I'm not bothered. I always make sure I do washing up before bed (hate waking upto dirty dishes!) clean surfaces, tidy T's toys away and sweep floor, then the next morn the house is half decent and me and T make a mess of it and I start all over again! I do little bits when he sleeps and find his bouncer makes it all possible! I do most housework when OH is home but as he works away that is rare.

    Ur T could be having a growth spurt, my T for the last 2 weeks stopped napping now he seems better. He won't nap in his cot so I put a furry blanket on the sofa and he normally drifts off in that for a couple of hours in the afternoon. He sleeps for 1/2 hour in morning and 1/2 hour in evening as well.
  • Becles
    Becles Posts: 13,184 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic

    I'm also a little late in announcing the birth on the 8th Jan of my baby girl Darcy Grace weighing 7lbs 3.5oz at 21.46pm,

    Congrats - that's lovely news xx :j

    Drop in any time that you need a chat. Someone will be here for you.
    lilian1977 wrote: »

    I've just had my first 'breast-is-best' nazi-ish experience - found out you can't pay for first infant milk using Boots points! Only 6 months and upwards!

    You don't get any points on the formula milks for babies aged 0-6 months. They say that it's an incentive to put people off breastfeeding so no loyalty points or other offers are allowed.
    SusanC wrote: »
    When I was in hospital in December I found the "breast is best" posters plastered all over the ward really irritating.

    That is irritating considering I had Josh in the same hospital. I was sitting on my bed feeding him and talking to the lady in the bed opposite. The nurse came in and told me off for feeding with the curtains open and pulled them all round my bed "for my privacy." I felt like a leper :o

    Can I ask when/how/who does your housework as I never seem to have the time and DH comes home in a mood every night as the house is like a 'bomb site'.

    Can you do a rota with minimal cleaning to keep the house tidy looking. If you wipe a duster round or have a quick wipe round the bathroom/kitchen every few days, it looks clean and doesn't take too long to do. You can do more through cleaning as and when time allows.

    Or spray some polish in the air a few minutes before DH comes home so it looks like you've been busy :rotfl:

    I know how annoying it is. My ex-MIL has OCD I think as dust and dirt are never allowed to settle in her house. Ex expected me to keep the house to her standards, but with a baby, toddler and two dogs, it just wasn't going to happen!
    3onitsway wrote: »
    He said that there are 'procedures' they can do, but because it only flares up a couple of times a year, it's probably better to cope with it. He did mention sinus flushing?, which sounded unpleasant and would leave me with a couple of black eyes! :eek:

    They've never mentioned flushing yet! Mine has been constant for about 18 months to 2 years now.

    Have you tried nasal douching when it flares up? You can buy special kits or a neti pot, but an old washing up liquid bottle works just as well. Fill it with warm water and mix in a spoonful of salt and a spoonful of bicarb. Lean over the sink and squirt half up one nostril (it will come out the other side and might make you gag). Repeat on the other nostril with the rest. It sounds minging to do and it is, but it really helps flush them out.
    Here I go again on my own....
  • delain
    delain Posts: 7,700 Forumite
    Ex used to go on and on about the flat needing to be 'smelling fresh' (you know what I still can't stand to hear that said even now) when I had 3 little ones under 2 to look after all in nappies, I used to keep an eye out for him coming over the way and put shake n vac behind the front door :rotfl:
    Mum of several with a twisted sense of humour and a laundry obsession :o:o
  • Is true re appearances he said that just need to put things away, put washing up in sink better than out rather than do it!! Susan I love your idea re noting down times as is true on wkds etc I still spend time feeding but he gets to play on his computer. KK sorry to hear your DH is being carp mine will do stuff but think he expects too much. Also even at wkds his idea of looking after t is taking him to play computers!

    KK love your t hugging your warmer, t has a seahorse like Daisy's and if I put it on now he starts stroking it/grabbing him/smiling etc but doesn't help him get to sleep is so sweet when they start getting attached to something.
    Thomas born 28/08/2010 weighing 5lbs and 4ounces, small but perfectly formed :j:j Now weighs 19lbs and 5 ounces
  • redmel1621
    redmel1621 Posts: 6,010 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic
    I do a quick 5 min whirlwind around the downstairs a few times a day, but it doesn't ever really get tidied until the kids are all in bed, and only then if I am not to tired to do it.

    My whirlwind involves, kicking all toys back into the toy room and to the edges, so you can see floor space...gives the illusion of tidyness. Taking my mountains of constant washing up and dumping it on my bed, then shutting the door...out of sight out of mind and emptying/filling the dishwasher so the kitchen doesn't look 'too' messy! That's about it really...evrything else is on an as and when the kids are settled/asleep/I have the time or energy!! Of which these things rarely occurr at the same time so not much else gets done. Also at the moment T is going through a clingy phase (again) if I put her down or walk out of her sight, she screeches the house down.

    Congrats to twoflowers on baby Darcy:D

    Anyway, best be off and redo my budget sheets...I did everything monthly, but have now realised that was a stupid thing to do, seeing as every bit of income we have comes weekly, fortnightly and 4 weekly....it therefore would ahve far more sense to work it all out weekly!!

    I will pop in again for a proper chat at some point, but am also mid-swing on the decorating, I have nearly finished the kitchen, just the microwave bracket to put up, make two set of curtains and the buy a kitchen trolley for extra storage/worktop space. Then it is onto the hall, stairs and landing, which is a big paint job.....

    Mel x
    Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
    Nothing is going to get better. It's not.
  • lilian1977
    lilian1977 Posts: 5,157 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited 20 January 2011 at 6:18AM
    Good morning all

    Well, Sam was awake until about 11pm last night then slept through until 1am, up till 2am and then I was woken by his gurgles at 4.30am, so I brought him downstairs to change/feed him as OH has work again today - however, he's not actually woken up so I'm just sat here waiting for him to stir! Ah well. Still a fair bit of sleep and I guess once OH has gone to work I can go back to sleep again.

    I've been singing the Athlete song 'Wires' to myself ever since he was born - the lyrics are amazing.

    http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/wires-lyrics-athlete/669a40c3ad2181cf48256f60000739fb

    I was singing it because of all of the tubes coming in and out of me in hospital, although the song is about them being in and out of your baby. I just love the chorus:

    "Running, down corridoors through, automatic doors
    Got to get to you, got to see this through
    First night of your life, curled up on your own
    Looking at you now, you would never know"

    It's so beautiful, in fact I'm sat here crying listening to it now! Bl00dy hormones ;)

    Have had an invitiation to join a Mummies lunch club in my town so will go to that next week I think, hopefully will make a few friends in the area as I only have one and she doesn't have a child.


    Sir M - I'm the same with housework, OH doesn't expect anything at the moment but I know that once Sam's a bit older I'll be as lazy as I am now, so I'm intending to do Flylady as well. I think as long as washing up is done and surfaces are clear the place looks a hell of a lot better, even if there is biscuit in the carpet...


    A question - how long can I expect my episiotomy stiches to hurt for? I feel like there's broken skin down there, it really stings, but OH has had a look (poor thing!) and says there isn't - having a shower first thing, using baby wipes to clean after the toilet and then a bath in the evening so I am keeping them clean. Also, how long am I likely to bleed for?

    xx
    My debt free diary | Post Office loan: £2131 1429.38 | Barclaycard: £4429 1988.12 | Paypal Credit £322.71 574.91 | Monzo Flex £169.03 |

    Total £4151.44 | £2900.30 of £7051.74 paid off since diary started October 2024.
  • weezl74
    weezl74 Posts: 8,701 Forumite
    edited 20 January 2011 at 9:25AM
    Hi, Posted on facebook too, but not everyone reads there:

    I've been reading about Martin's keenness to lobby government to make financial education mandatory. http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/news/banking/2010/03/making-money-can-be-childs-play the question I have for you all as parents is: do you think good financial education is the responsibility of the schools? How much responsibility do the parents have? Also if you feel you are responsible, what strategies and ideas do you have for teaching your children about money? :)

    :hello:Jonathan 'Fergie' Fergus William, born 05/03/09, 7lb 4.4oz:hello:
    :)Benjamin 'Kezzie' Kester Jacob, born 18/03/10, 7lb 5oz:)
    cash neutral gifts 2011, value of purchased gifts/actual paid/amount earnt to cover it £67/£3.60/£0
    january grocery challenge, feed 4 of us for £40
  • MERFE
    MERFE Posts: 2,133 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    morning

    weezl I think it is a parents responsibility but if its reinforced by what the schools teach than it is only a good thing.

    Kitkat did you find T calmed or settled easier as he got older or would you still consider the cranial osteopathy? I'm hoping little man grows out of being grumpy, had a really good day yesterday when he slept all day. I was worried he wouldn't sleep last night but he did, then he was up at 6am changed and fed and I put him in his bouncy chair, got a few smiles (which is amazing and rarely happens) and he sat in it till it was time for the school run which makes a change as he'll normally start screaming after 5 minutes. I hope its a sign of whats to come.

    Sir M I think maybe explain to OH if the naps are not going well that you are trying to sort little one before worrying about housework. We used to argue about housework loads but now both realise it doesn't matter who does it or when it gets done. You have all the time in the world to clean up when they go to school but only get to take them to groups etc whilst they are tiny so enjoy the baby. Our house is a bit of a bombsite this morning because we were out all day yesterday and there are shopping bags everywhere but I've not had a chance to put it all away yet - when the older ones went to bed last night I cuddled Bob from 7pm till 9ish and I wouldn't change it for the world (certainly not to have put some shopping away).
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