Mooloo's New Home, New Year and New Start part 3

Savvy_sewing

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Gosh, that looks JUST like the back of my old house! 3 bed, large hall and landing? Happy memories!

Alas its three beds, but the tinest of landing. the three doors are all in the corridor/landing in a U shape. The width of the doors is all it is. Cannot turn a sixpence on it. But at least that means there is less of it to clean!.

Now that I have the space from DS's room, I am slowly claiming some of the space where the boxes used to be, and hope to have a front room and a bedroom to enjoy soon.!
And of course a sewing room, to pootle about with, in and to get some creating done.
I have been washing fabrics, so that I can make sure that they are not going to shrink when I make things, and can let the end users know that they can wash on a delicate wash. May help with sales etc etc.
Now I have to wake DGD and her Mum as they are both still asleep.
I had a better night, only waking up a couple of times which was good for me.
Headache seems to be lurking, but I think its the medication. I will re book the doctors and go for a chat when I can.

I look forward to the time when my homepage has pictures of a lovely home and not the rubbish tip!.Ha :rotfl:

Savvy_sewing

Turkey saddles made, and in an envelope to be posted.!
Pictures on my homepage!
Now I have a few pictures of some fabric to send off to a hopefully prospective client.
Still waiting for comeback from the housing and the social services.

Savvy_sewing

Housing reckoned they couldnt open the pictures so I have just sent them again.
Social Services have not got back to me, again.
Time to ring them all again.
Purple bag cut out, and mostly sewn, till I realised I hadnt put the outside pocket on! So I have to unpick it and start again with it! as the pockets have to be put on before the bag is put together. I would just make another bag, which would be simpler but I dont have anything with purple lining I can adulterate. I have already cut up a Monsoon skirt! so I could use its lining. (thats what my recycling is all about!).
Back to the sewing now, I have about an hour while I can still sew.

Savvy_sewing

I have managed to make the purple bag now. Molly's daughter's reaction was, wow, thats great. So thats good.
I shall have to upload the pictures of it to the blog. Just cooking DGD and my tea now. She is watching another Video.
Maybe I will get the rest of the jobs I want to do done later. But I am pleased with what i have achieved so far.

Eager_Elephant

Have been busy at work for the last few days so not had a chance to come on here.

Those turkey saddles are so lovely - I certainly will have the best dressed Turkeys in this country!!!

Thanks again Mooloo!!

EE

SingleSue

Mooloo wrote: »

I understand what you are saying SuziQ. But when ever I spoke, or tried to speak to DS he said that he wasnt bothered. It was only when he got with this friend of his that he started to moan about life etc.
I did consult him, and so did the Social Workers, about his opinion on having DGD with us. I bought DS a moped, I taxed and insured it for him. I supported him in his decision to leave the apprenticeship with his fathers firm, as he didnt like it. I have tried to encourage him to follow his so called heart and work in the Blacksmith trade, but everytime he had an excuse not to do it. I even offered to save up and pay for him to go on a residential course in the trade.
I have driven him all over the place, from Oxford, Leighton Buzzard and Newport Pagnell to see his friends, and before The SS decided that all overnight visitors had to be CRB checked, his friends were allowed to stay when ever he wanted them to.
He didnt miss out on Xboxes, the internet or a computer, a mobile phone, (5 bought for him over the years), and he had what he wanted, a sofa bed that he liked and even named "susan", and a Konnect for his Xbox.
He has been given an allowance to for spending, and i have bought his clothes.
I do not think that this is being hard done by. But maybe he does feel that. Maybe I made the wrong decisions.? Who doesnt in life?
I am not wonderwoman, I am just a normal human being trying to make sure that ALL my family are safe. I am like a female lion, looking after my pride. The only thing is that there is no male head of the pride to help me. Therefore the decisions are mine and mine alone. This can be tough, as any single mother will tell you.
Having two children with disabilities is difficult, but then I wouldnt know anything else would I?
We are give our lot, and we also make our lot. all I am trying to do, is make it as simple, easy and as comfortable as I can for all of mine.

There will be a lot of people who disagree with the way that I have run my life, the way that I have helped, or hindered, my children. The fact that the Apron strings are still there, when in a lot of families that would not be by now.

I notice that it is commented that the girls have houses and are living off of benefits.
Well yes they are, as this is the way that anyone with a child is allowed, its the system.
They are looking for work, they want to work, but they do not get offered a job, as they do not cope with the interview and alas the only job they had was working for McDonalds, and were let go, as they were too Slow.
I tried to keep my family together, and provide for them as best I could, but when my health started to fail, I was no longer, invinsible Mum.
I have made plenty of mistakes, but I am at least able to hold my head up and with my hand on my heart say that I have done what I think was for the best for all of my family.
Their father, where is he? He married someone else, and decided that her child was now his family. She is treated better then his own children. The family feel very let down by him.
My second husband couldnt cope with the twins, and therefore I put the children before my marriage and i left.
Until 2008 I worked all my life. Long hard hours to keep my family together.
So now, yes we have to have benefits, but I am trying to start up a small business and get off of them.
I am still trying, and hoping that we can find work for the twins.
DS has the abilities and I am sure he will mature, and will look for work, as I think he will find something to aspire too. Its just when, he is intelligent, but finds his dyslexia, gets him too frustrated.
Anway this is how I see things today.
Maybe tomorrow I will see things differently.

I have to comment re DS.....as you know, my two younger one have autism (amongst other things) and although eldest has always said he was not bothered by the lack of attention I have been able to give him, I have noticed a very gradual pull away from the family unit by him.

When challenged recently, he actually opened up and admitted that he finds it all very hard to deal with, all very frustrating and the only way for him to avoid blowing his top, is for him to be away from the home as much as possible.

You have not made mistakes though, you have tried the best you could to bring the children up and it was not your fault that two of them had disabilities which meant that one of them may not have received the same amount of attention as the others...but this is a no win situation, there is only one of you and only 24 hours in a day. I feel incredible guilt over eldest, at his lost childhood because he had to grow up so quickly to help as a young carer when their father left the home, at all the times he has had to miss out on events because I had been unable to take him because of the other two boys.

Regarding the girls, their lives are not all flowers and chocolates despite living in social housing and receiving benefits. Their lives will be a daily struggle against themselves and their capabilities. It is not as if a magic wand can be taken to the situation and everything made better....and as a parent of two with similar problems, I can understand why you do what you do for the girls.

I really do admire you Mooloo...I only hope I can still be as positive as you when my boys are the age your girls are now.

Savvy_sewing

SingleSue wrote: »

I have to comment re DS.....as you know, my two younger one have autism (amongst other things) and although eldest has always said he was not bothered by the lack of attention I have been able to give him, I have noticed a very gradual pull away from the family unit by him.

When challenged recently, he actually opened up and admitted that he finds it all very hard to deal with, all very frustrating and the only way for him to avoid blowing his top, is for him to be away from the home as much as possible.

You have not made mistakes though, you have tried the best you could to bring the children up and it was not your fault that two of them had disabilities which meant that one of them may not have received the same amount of attention as the others...but this is a no win situation, there is only one of you and only 24 hours in a day. I feel incredible guilt over eldest, at his lost childhood because he had to grow up so quickly to help as a young carer when their father left the home, at all the times he has had to miss out on events because I had been unable to take him because of the other two boys.

Regarding the girls, their lives are not all flowers and chocolates despite living in social housing and receiving benefits. Their lives will be a daily struggle against themselves and their capabilities. It is not as if a magic wand can be taken to the situation and everything made better....and as a parent of two with similar problems, I can understand why you do what you do for the girls.

I really do admire you Mooloo...I only hope I can still be as positive as you when my boys are the age your girls are now.

Oh I am sure you will be Sue. Its a case of having to really, to survive. But I am also always reading and trying to learn about so many different things. From thier problems to my problems. As well as having some goals still. Dispite their getting in the way more often then not.
I suppose I have a roller coaster of a ride with in my own mind. Never mind with the things that life throws at me. Some days I really just want to stop the truck and get off! But after battling down the hatches, and having a selfish day here and there, I am back and fighting the system again. Although I dont fight it as much these days as I used to.
Talking to twin1 yesterday and she is worried about her situation.
The mess has taken her over and she doesnt really know how to cope. Her Bromford Support Worker is angry that Social Services have not picked up on all the referals. etc. But I have the same arguement all the time.
Next week is the final court cases over my darling boys, and then I suppose I will possibly have more time to fight for twin1 again.
Twin2 has had disability reconised again now, and is starting to get some extra help with funding etc for a start. They also are going to help her with work related things when the boys are finally no longer in our domain.
But for now, its the day we are going to visit the boys, so I better get my upbeat Granny hat on and get going.
Onwards and upwards as my Mum would say to me when I hit that dip!.

minimoneysaver

I hope you have a lovely visit with your boys. xxx

jackieglasgow

Mooloo I hope the visit with the boys go well and you make some lovely memories

Savvy_sewing

Well it was lovely to see the boys. DGD and DGS1 played so well together. The room had a lot of ants in and when I asked for something at reception I was told that they cannot put anything down, for health and safety reasons.! The world has gone mad. I suppose I can see what they mean, but its getting so rediculous. their other option was to close the room and cancel our contact! Glad they didnt do that. But we spent a lot of time stamping on them!
The social worker came before the meeting and talked about the court case next week. She was supposed to be retired but the manager is off on longterm sick so she has been rehired as an independant consultant! Bet that costs a bit!.