Mooloo's New Home, New Year and New Start part 3

Savvy_sewing

Well you will have to bare with me if I go a bit wobbly. Plans changed in the Mooloo household when mother of birthday girl invited DGD1 to stay over.
I decided that I would allow it. (I know SS will have a hissy fit!) but the child needs the same kind of life as her friends do as well.:o
So I became Child free for the rest of the day/night and until after Nursery in the morning. Gosh the house feels strange.:eek:
Anyway I took the opportunity to use the sunny day, the time, and grab the bulls by the horn and go and collect all my stuff from BF's house. There was not going to be much time to do it with DGD1 around. So I thought now was the best time.
So I went. It was difficult and telling his son that I was taking things and leaving as his Dad didnt really want DGD1 and me in his life anymore. I gave him the special sauce he loves, and said I had planned to give it to him for Christmas but obviously thats now out of the question. Saying goodbye to him was hard. I have watched him grow up and although he is not one of mine, I thought of him, and his sister as part of my family.
I had to sit in the car and compose myself before I could drive off.
A very difficult thing to do. I now have 3 binbags of my things to sort out and fit into my bedroom here. What joy.
I am going to find this an uphill battle. Somedays I will be upbeat, and others rather low. But I will try to focus on the family. The grandchildren and the duty I have to myself to soldier on.!
And now I have yet another sewing machine here! I think I need to set up a workshop at the end of the garden! Anyone got a spare shed/garage I can build¬!:D:rotfl:

icefairy

dear mooloo i have followed you for just over a year now but never posted, i am so sorry what you are going through with your bf. i know exactly how you feel had an experience very like yours i would like to talk to you at some point i am still trying to come to terms with what has happened to me why do men have to be so cruel if you can tell me how to privite mail take carex

minimoneysaver

Mooloo, what made you take such a big step? Had you discussed moving out your stuff with your (ex)BF, or will this all be a huge surprise to him when he comes back off his trip?

Savvy_sewing

minimoneysaver wrote: »

Mooloo, what made you take such a big step? Had you discussed moving out your stuff with your (ex)BF, or will this all be a huge surprise to him when he comes back off his trip?

Before he went away I did say Did he want me to get my stuff etc, and he said that I could go when ever I wanted.
He has been texting but nothing earth shattering, and then a few days ago, he did say "I cannot commit" so to me what was the point? Do I have a BF who comes and stays one night a week and shares my holidays, but runs a mile if I am ill? If I need him where will he be? Who although has been around all of DGD's life, didnt want the idea of bringing her up!.
Well I decided that he was not going to change, and that unless I made a move he would hope that we just ticked along and he would be able to just go back to the same old same old when ever he wanted. ! Well I used to have a back bone, so today I found it!.
(I think!!!!).

It was best to do it when DGD was not around, and as she is in a sleep over, then I can mope around today and nobody is here to have to care for but me, and in the morning I can sleep in for a little while as I have nothing until Physio at 12noon.:D

If BF wants things to be different then he should have had a back bone! He has my address, my phone number and the keys to my home, so he knows where to find me after his trip is over. But I doubt he will. He can have his Rut, all to himself now cant he!, and i can get good and mad that I have given him 7 1/2 years of my life, and it was all one sided. There were 3 binbags full of my stuff at his house, and what does he have here? One pair of boxers and a teeshirt, toothebrush and thats the lot!!!:o

thorsoak

All I can say, Mooloo, is well done for taking control! It's been a hard step that you've taken - but YOU have taken it, in your own time, and I'm sure that when you look back later, you will recognise that this fact will have empowered you.

It's not what you wanted to happen - but happen, it has - and now you've taken control - well done!

Now to get your health sorted out, and DGD's status sorted out!! {{hugs}}

jackieglasgow

Mooloo I haven't posted for ages but am still reading regularly. Bully for you, glad to see you've found your gumption and realised that you deserve more. It will be tough, ending a relationship is never easy but actually, your description of the blongings sums it up perfectly. We all need and deserve someone who loves all of us, good and bad. You especially. xxx

Savvy_sewing

jackieglasgow wrote: »

Mooloo I haven't posted for ages but am still reading regularly. Bully for you, glad to see you've found your gumption and realised that you deserve more. It will be tough, ending a relationship is never easy but actually, your description of the blongings sums it up perfectly. We all need and deserve someone who loves all of us, good and bad. You especially. xxx

Not sure I am necessarily deserving any more than the next person, but I am facing the fact that I have coped this last month, enjoyed going to the WI weekend, and feel much more in control. Last weekend, and Monday was I think the tipping point. Its not going to be easy I know, but its not fair to drag DGD to Oxford every other weekend, now she has friends, and parties and sleep overs and such.
I am going to have a bit of dinner and a few glasses of wine, my MR T. dine in for 2 really. But what the heck! I fancied something other then beans on toast!.

Oh and My Dad has bought me the sewing machine I wanted on Friday, as my early Christmas present he said!!!:T:T:T

Errata

It sounds like you've taken the right step. I've been reading your posts for years now, and he's never helped you out in anything. You've known him for a great many years and it really does seem like the relationship has reached its natural end for you. I think it's better to have no man in one's life than one who leaves you with expectations that are never ever fulfilled.
Good luck for your future, it's all yours now.

Savvy_sewing

Errata wrote: »

It sounds like you've taken the right step. I've been reading your posts for years now, and he's never helped you out in anything. You've known him for a great many years and it really does seem like the relationship has reached its natural end for you. I think it's better to have no man in one's life than one who leaves you with expectations that are never ever fulfilled.
Good luck for your future, it's all yours now.

Thanks, Oh its scarey though!
Right I am off to fire up the cooker, and make sure my wine is on cool, that the toys are out of the bath and I can be me!!! Crikey thats a first in many many years.:eek:

MrsAtobe

Enjoy your DGD free evening Mooloo!