Mooloo's New Home, New Year and New Start part 3

*Robin*

You can't dismantle your sewing room, Mooloo.
A tent in the garden would be an acceptable emergency measure if DS needs to stay more than a few days while he's sorting out his own accommodation. Of course, he'd be allowed to kip on the sofa if the weather gets really bad.

Savvy_sewing

I dont think that he really wants to come to Brackley. He doesnt want to leave his friends in Towcester. Which is why he went to his sisters in the first place. I agree he will be low priority. there is possibly some vunerability issues, due to his having got mixed up with the wrong people and being influenced, and his dyslexia means he needs help with forms, paperwork etc etc. But I am not hopeful.
I dont have any funds to give him a deposit for a place, and would no doubt have lost it if he was to be evicted anyway.
Really he should have knuckled under, appologies to the housing Association and the neighbours, and maybe he could have stopped where he was. Anyway, ifs are not going to help.

I have been sewing this evening, and finished my dress, made out of BF's shirt and a fabric remenant. I used a coresage off of a top that was sent to me last year. I think it was ifonlyitwaseasier.:T
I am definitely keeping the sewing going., Its really helped me mentally to feel more fullfilled, less dogsbody, and given me a reason to say NO to them. although financially, I havent made any money yet, and I have spent an awful lot of things to accessories my makes. But I think that I will calm down now, and get more makes done. DGD permitting.

tired_mum

I said i wouldnt comment but i have been reading and pleased to see you are making headway with your crafts:D
I have to say I would be concerned for his mental state if you say no Others have stated its not fair on DGD but he is your son and you have done everything for both the twins including housing your DGD to say no i feel may well reinforce the feeling that he is a lost cause I think he should be allowed to return on a trial basis he is working still isnt he so he will be able to contribute There must be rules and there will only be 1 warning Personally I have to say if it was me he would be allowed home my son and my family are the most important things in my life and if they ever thought i didnt want them to live here i would be devestated but thats me
Sorry just a bit more for you to think about

Savvy_sewing

Tired Mum, I do see what you mean.
DS knows that if he cannot find somewhere else that he can of course come home. However its not his priority option of his own choosing.
I have told him that I would let him come home and that there is always a home for him, but that it would mean a lot of problems needed to be sorted out. However I do not think that he wants to come home, and so I will tell him NO, for the housing situation. Although as mentioned he is not going to get more than a list of B&B's and rented places to try I shouldnt think. Although the housing officer that I have told him to go and see, and he has made an appointment with for Monday, does know all about the family, taking on DGD and all the other situations we have been in over the last 5 years since I went BR. So she will help point him where she can.
I suppose its not my son I dont want, but the rest of it that comes along with him, including his jailbird friends. We are talking, we are catching up, and the like.
Re his job, it is only a few shifts occasionally. The pub couldnt afford to keep him on a permanant shift as they were not taking enough money. Although he has done the odd shift in his girlfriends family pub. Alas she has gone off to live in Scotland, so will not have the calming influence on him.
Anyway, we will just have to wait on the results and see what happens.
Meanwhile I will continue to work at my sewing machine.

minimoneysaver

Unfortunately your son has delivered to many empty promises your way and not managed to follow anything through. At the end of the day he is always drawn back to the people who seem to be a terrible influence on him. It's a shame that he didn't make a go of the apprenticeships or college, but he chose to turn his back on them in favour of the bright lights and his so called friends. Life isn't about short term highs, but working long-term towards a goal and persevering when things get tough.

Savvy_sewing

minimoneysaver wrote: »

Unfortunately your son has delivered to many empty promises your way and not managed to follow anything through. At the end of the day he is always drawn back to the people who seem to be a terrible influence on him. It's a shame that he didn't make a go of the apprenticeships or college, but he chose to turn his back on them in favour of the bright lights and his so called friends. Life isn't about short term highs, but working long-term towards a goal and persevering when things get tough.

Never a truer word said.
He has moved in and out several times since leaving school. He has lost his moped that cost me Hundreds. He has lost his passport. He has had to leave places loosing friends and outstaying his welcome. He has done what he wanted to do, and not listened to any advice from anyone, Given up his apprenticeship that paid him over £100 a week, left college dispite his tutor saying he would do well. So yes he has let himself down as well as me.
There does come a time when we have to pay the consequences of our actions. Even I had to pay the court fines when he got into trouble when he was 15 or 16. It seems so long ago now I cannot remember. So much has happened in our lives.

I am tired this morning, cannot seem to be motivated to move, and its already 10am and I am not even dressed. The washing up was only half finished, and if I didnt have DGD here, I think I would go back to bed!
I havent a clue why.
Oh well. Perhaps I will drag myself to the shower and see if that will wake me up.

thistledome

Mooloo wrote: »

I am out of bread, and will have to either dig out the breadmaker, or get to the shop early tomorrow.

Don't want to take your thread off topic, but when we run out of bread I make Irish Soda Bread because it's so easy and quick. It's a bit stodgier (almost "cakey") than normal shop bread, but great for an emergency if you don't feel like going out.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/irishsodabread_67445

Back to lurking for me.:o

Edit: sour milk or milk with a tablespoon of lemon juice in it can be substitued for buttermilk.

Savvy_sewing

thistledome wrote: »

Don't want to take your thread off topic, but when we run out of bread I make Irish Soda Bread because it's so easy and quick. It's a bit stodgier (almost "cakey") than normal shop bread, but great for an emergency if you don't feel like going out.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/irishsodabread_67445

Back to lurking for me.:o

Edit: sour milk or milk with a tablespoon of lemon juice in it can be substitued for buttermilk.

Dont think your taking me off of subject really.! My caotic life is this thread!
Thanks, I will give it a go. I think now, my Mum used to make some soda bread when we were kids.

I was very lucky, I didnt have to go out in the end, Phillspad brought me around the remains of a loaf he had made, and when Molly came for a cuppa she brought me a loaf and some milk.!
(Mind you by the time I went out on Saturday evening, I was getting stir crazy.).

Today is not a good day.
I forgot to take my tramadol with me to my BF's and deteriorated by bedtime on Saturday, and yesterday I was very slow, sore.
This morning I woke up after having a very distrubed night. Very stiff. etc. We drove straight home, I didnt even have a cuppa as we needed to get back for Nursery!.
DGD is now in Nursery, and I am sitting here catching up with my tea fix.
Hopefully the tablets will start to work, and I will get back to my old self.

I had the Mum can you lend us some money call again yesterday afternoon from the twins. One needed to get the bus to go to town to be on a course, and the other needs to get there this afternoon to sign on. With great grit and determination I said NO. I hadnt got it. Not only was I not at home, I didnt have it.
I did feel quite bad about it, and it must have been playing on my mind as I got very disturbed dreams.
I still felt guilty about it, and this morning when I was talking to one of the Nursery mums, I broke down in tears. I feel so awful. I also suppose its as I am feeling really unwell at the moment. I loose my strength when like this.
However I am greatful to myself as I just logged into my internet banking to find that the SS have not paid my Forstering money today. So I am £133 down on what I expected to be in the bank. Thank god I didnt pay for the twins.
I also have a few things I still need to pay for for myself, and I just thank goodness that I noticed the balance before I started to pay bills.

I have been on the phone to the council accounts to find out what is going on. I have been told they were paying out late due to an Error.!!! right.

Savvy_sewing

Well finally, this is the reply from the Housing association.
I have had a letter in reply to my complaint from the Housing Association.
They firstly outlined
"when we prepare a property for re-let our standard works in the garden are to remove any rubbish left by the previous resident and cut back any overgrown grass or shrubbery so that the garden is in a manageable state for the incoming resident to then continue to maintain or improve is as they so wish. The works are not intended to provide the incoming residents with a maintenance free garden but just to give them some assistance at the start of their ongoing responsibility towards the gardens of a property. The work will include the removal of any hazards but does not usually require any close examination of the surface of the garden or what may lie below, only larger items or rubbish or debris will therefore be removed.
This situation is extremely unusual and the level of works we undertake in gardens prior to re-let do in the vast majority of instances strike a reasonable balance bewteen our obligations to provide a manageable garden and an incoming residents ongoing responsibility.

I have spoken to our housing team and they have confirmed that there is no documented evidence of the previous resident's behaviour which would lead us to believe that a closer examination should have been carried out to the garden as a whole or any particular part of it.

As previously stated we do share your concerns and would agree that the safety of our residents and visitors to our properites is paramount. We will therefore be happy to ask a specialist contractor to attend your property, rake over the area where the greenhouse once stood and remove any foreing objects whic would vcause injuyr or harm.

I would ask you to contac tour customer services team who will be happy to arrange these works for you."


now the debate before I make that phone call is.
Do I accept this or do I insist that the area is rotorvated, and that the debris is removed from this area, as I cannot see a rake making that much more difference, as it would still only be scratching the surface, and the horrors may still reappear at later date?
Or do I cut my losses and just agree with them?
Personally I want to push them even further, but I am not sure as to what to do or say. Yet.

Its a lovely day and I woul love to be out in the garden but I wanted to do some sewing. However, I have cut a few bits out, but not much, and now looking at the clock its nearly time for collecting DGD already!!
Perhaps I will attempt to cut the grass when I have her home, and see if we can use the garden. Will she give me peace to is another matter of course.

Savvy_Sue

Mooloo wrote: »

We will therefore be happy to ask a specialist contractor to attend your property, rake over the area where the greenhouse once stood and remove any foreing objects whic would vcause injuyr or harm.

I would ask you to contac tour customer services team who will be happy to arrange these works for you."

now the debate before I make that phone call is.
Do I accept this or do I insist that the area is rotorvated, and that the debris is removed from this area, as I cannot see a rake making that much more difference, as it would still only be scratching the surface, and the horrors may still reappear at later date?
Or do I cut my losses and just agree with them?
Personally I want to push them even further, but I am not sure as to what to do or say. Yet.

It's a difficult one, isn't it? So, in my usual habit of asking more questions, do you think they SHOULD have had evidence that the garden would need more work than an 'average' garden? It's all very well to believe that what was going on was 'common knowledge', but if the previous tenants weren't actually evicted because they were in prison for grow your own offences ... and I can't remember what the previous history of the house was.

And the next thing is, what do they mean by 'rake over the area'? Because tbh I can't see many specialist contractors literally 'raking over the area' as you and I understand it: I'd have thought their 'raking' would have been by mechanical means. But I could be wrong about that.

And finally: if they are prepared to pay for 'raking over the area' and it IS just a fairly superficial thing, how much more would their specialist contractor charge to do what you consider a 'proper job', and could you offer to pay the difference? Maybe you shouldn't have to, but the priority has to be getting the job done.