Real life MMD: Should I go to the Christmas lunch?

minicooper272

ronangel wrote: »

It all depends if you are thinking on staying at the company for a long time whether it is small or large. If small & you want to get on best to go, afford or not. This is the way to sus out the strengths and weaknesses of the management in these hard times to help you up the ladder in the coming year.You also may notice some indiscretions which should be carefully noted for times in the future when they have to let people go (less than year) or redundancies.. when you are told you will no longer be needed point out what you know to the person in charge gently explaining that as a loyal employee you turned a blind eye to whatever, but if forced to leave you conscience would be clear in making sure that (whoever) found out about it, maybe they would reconsider letting you go with even if possible a promotion & maybe if company could afford it a small pay rise for all your hard work.
This happened to a close friend in a different way while working for a very important person in public office. Photographs of the person at a xmas do were taken of vip with a scantly clad strip gram jumping on him. My friend using part one, was able to get the photographs & all negatives (long time ago would have had worse repercussions than present time) Placed them on VIPs desk after holidays. The favour returned at a later date helped save my friend from very big problems in the company when accused of being part of something that could have lost him his job which he had no part in but no proof he did not.
look at the money as a long term investment on your future & GO!

OMG! I can't believe I actually just read this.... You're actually talking about blackmailing people within the company to get ahead!

Anyone reading this: DO NOT do this! Yeah, it might work, or your boss will fire you anyway and say that you're just a bitter employee about being let go! Or they will just start to watch your performance for the second you slip up just looking for a reason to let you go (and you wouldn't get a good reference either). If you notice work indiscretions, you keep them to yourself. Trying to use them against someone to get ahead will just come back on you again and the ending won't be pretty!

tototo

I really hope this isn't my workmate cos I have one lunch coming up and yes, it is £25 a head. I have tried to wiggle out of it just because I think I could use this money to support my 'not so previleged' family in the third world but I was too late cancelling as my colleagues will be asked to pay since the meals are pre-booked so I have to brunt it this time and hopefully will be the last cos I'll feel guilty paying this much for lunch with my family in mind as they depend on me financially. I have refused noting affordability but the organiser offered to pay for me and I'm afraid I have pride, does not want anyone paying for me out of sympathy. And we are in NHS and do not get any contribution from our employer. But YES, it is affordable for others as they don't have young kids or families to look after, nearing retirement so money is no question for their pockets. So do not feel pushed, I have excused myself in the past!, though I was told i was not sociable, I just had to stick to my guns:can't afford it!

vonschnitzel

Re the earlier comments from Ron Angel and the many replies condemning his advice, could I just say that if the evidence you obtain when attending this party is good enough, and your boss knows you've got it, you'll have a job for life. As long as you only use the information to safeguard your interests and not as a means to earn extra money etc, you could not be considered a blackmailer. It just depends upon how good your intelligence gathering is, and, of course a concealed camera or recorder is always a distinct advantage! Don't ask for special favours, just ask that you are not overlooked without good reason. And make sure you store the information in a secure place!

dave2

If you *really* can't afford it, just say so and go for a drink before or after instead. No guilt trips though, it's a nightmare organising these things and they have to go with whatever's going to be acceptable to the mob.

But personally I'd see it as an investment, you'll very likely find yourself discovering the personalities and getting on with people better afterwards. As if that wasn't enough, it's a good career move anyway. You'll get "known" more quickly by higher-ups (this may be your 1 chance until next year) and whatever anyone says, how well you fit-in at work is a significant influence over who gets kept or given the opportunities and who gets ignored or let go.

Do be warned though, the costs do spiral when there's a big party splitting the bill. £25/head when there's a couple of you can turn into £35. Some people would normally spend more than you, there's always a couple who splash out when the bill's being split, plus people tend to be at the table a lot longer so there's another round or two of drinks at inflated prices. Expect it and accept it.

Also, I'd be going to my other half's boxing day if invited...

JayD

Should I go to the Christmas lunch?

No

ronangel

vonschnitzel wrote: »

Re the earlier comments from Ron Angel and the many replies condemning his advice, could I just say that if the evidence you obtain when attending this party is good enough, and your boss knows you've got it, you'll have a job for life. As long as you only use the information to safeguard your interests and not as a means to earn extra money etc, you could not be considered a blackmailer. It just depends upon how good your intelligence gathering is, and, of course a concealed camera or recorder is always a distinct advantage! Don't ask for special favours, just ask that you are not overlooked without good reason. And make sure you store the information in a secure place!

I think this puts the point nicely You would be very foolish to say the least, to let anybody know that you had this information. The time to tell them about it. is when they say some time in the future " I am afraid we are going to have to let you go" And your reply "I think you might want to [FONT=&quot]Reconsider [/FONT] " whilst showing them a copy of whatever:eek:
I cant wait to see what the wikileaks guy has got on the senators & others when they try to imprison him in usa We will probably never know because their familys & jobs come first:cool:

gizzie121

If you don't want to say you can't afford it, could you say that another engagement has come up that you have to attend, and just leave it at that?

seven-day-weekend

I always used to go to the dinner (at lunchtime) but I hated the binge-drinking and cringeworthy behaviour afterwards, so I always used to offer to go backto the office to man the phones. This way I got out of the party and did everyone else a favour.

Could you be the one who mans the phones instead of going for a meal (if it's in work time that is)?

Ebenezer_Screwj

You won't ruin the "fun" because it is not about you - these ghastly charades are all about gross over-indulgence and false bonhomie. As for the Boxing Day trip, just say you can't afford it and have a quiet day at home. Remember it's only for two days then everyone can get back to being horrible to each other again.

Wardy

We have this situation at our work now & I've said from the start (as have a few others) that I'm not prepared to pay £30 (plus the cost for drinks) on a meal that I'm not bothered about and can't really afford - at the end of the day you need to decide how high on your priority list your social life with work is. If it isn't high then don't waste your money when it's needed elsewhere.

Some of the managers weren't happy but the only way they can make me go is of they pay for it and it's in company time. It is actually in company time but they're not paying for it so they can't make me go. I'm staying at work instead and a few of us are going to the pub for a £5 lunch.

Don't be afraid to say no - no one knows your circumstances, and it can't be assumed that just because the managers can afford that price, everyone else can...