Real life MMD: Should I go to the Christmas lunch?

Former_MSE_Penelope
Former_MSE_Penelope Former MSE Posts: 536 Forumite
edited 14 December 2010 at 5:24PM in MoneySaving polls
Please give this MoneySaver the benefit of your advice...
Should I go to the Christmas lunch?

My office is planning our Christmas lunch but the most affordable place was thought 'too predictable'. Every other restaurant near work will be min. £25 per head, which for me is a lot of money. I wanted have the chance to socialise a bit as I'm the newest, but the hefty price tag has put me off. I also told my other half I wouldn't go to his dad's for Boxing day because of the train fare. I don't want to ruin the fun though.
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  • lizardking
    lizardking Forumite Posts: 39
    Part of the Furniture
    Forumite
    Why not join them for a sociable drink once they have eaten their meal, less costly and you still get to join in for part of the evening.
  • scotsbob
    scotsbob Forumite Posts: 4,632 Forumite
    Make them feel guilty and tell them the truth. You would love to have lunch with them but not at that price. Their next move will give you an indication of how much they value your company.
  • WhyIsSavingSoHard
    WhyIsSavingSoHard Forumite Posts: 60
    Home Insurance Hacker! Cashback Cashier
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    You don't need to make them feel guilty, but I do think you are best off telling them that you can't afford to go. I'm sure they'll understand and maybe there's one or two of the others struggling to find the money too. You may be surprised. Why not ask if you can all go for a drink after work in the new year some time? But if they say yes, make sure it happens by taking on the organising of it yourself if need be. And next Christmas, they'll hopefully choose somewhere cheaper.

    I hate the inflated prices at restaurants this time of year. If it were down to me, Christmas work do's would happen somewhere between the end of January and the beginning of November!
    :j I'm not supposed to be normal, I'm supposed to be me:j
    :dance: Quidco cash back since May 2010 ~ more than £83.13 :dance:
    Must remember to use it more, but every little helps
  • alwayswrite
    alwayswrite Forumite Posts: 28 Forumite
    As in previous answers be honest and say you can't afford to stay for a meal because you really should go to see your boyfriend's dad on Boxing Day. Remember and this is being totally honest you may not always work in the same firm and this meal with your work mates could cause you to have an argument with your boyfriend and ruin Christmas....for you both....and his dad. I wish you all the very best and a very happy 2011:j
  • ronangel
    ronangel Forumite Posts: 124 Forumite
    It all depends if you are thinking on staying at the company for a long time whether it is small or large. If small & you want to get on best to go, afford or not. This is the way to sus out the strengths and weaknesses of the management in these hard times to help you up the ladder in the coming year.You also may notice some indiscretions which should be carefully noted for times in the future when they have to let people go (less than year) or redundancies.. when you are told you will no longer be needed point out what you know to the person in charge gently explaining that as a loyal employee you turned a blind eye to whatever, but if forced to leave you conscience would be clear in making sure that (whoever) found out about it, maybe they would reconsider letting you go with even if possible a promotion & maybe if company could afford it a small pay rise for all your hard work.
    This happened to a close friend in a different way while working for a very important person in public office. Photographs of the person at a xmas do were taken of vip with a scantly clad strip gram jumping on him. My friend using part one, was able to get the photographs & all negatives (long time ago would have had worse repercussions than present time) Placed them on VIPs desk after holidays. The favour returned at a later date helped save my friend from very big problems in the company when accused of being part of something that could have lost him his job which he had no part in but no proof he did not.
    look at the money as a long term investment on your future & GO!
    The richard montgomery matter

  • shaven-monkey
    shaven-monkey Forumite Posts: 651 Forumite
    Please give this MoneySaver the benefit of your advice...
    Should I go to the Christmas lunch?
    No.

    There are many reasons you could give but fortunately you don't have to give any reason at all. If coerced into giving a reason "I don't have the time or money".

    The new year social pub lunch or whatever sounds like a reasonable way to socialise with work colleagues without being mugged by a restaurant.
    "Gold is the money of kings; silver is the money of gentlemen; barter is the money of peasants; but debt is the money of slaves." - Norm Franz
  • tryfive
    tryfive Forumite Posts: 82 Forumite
    ronangel wrote: »
    You also may notice some indiscretions which should be carefully noted for times in the future when they have to let people go (less than year) or redundancies.. when you are told you will no longer be needed point out what you know to the person in charge gently explaining that as a loyal employee you turned a blind eye to whatever, but if forced to leave you conscience would be clear in making sure that (whoever) found out about it, maybe they would reconsider letting you go with even if possible a promotion & maybe if company could afford it a small pay rise for all your hard work.

    Very, VERY, VERY BAD ADVICE.

    Although it may have worked out "OK" in your "friends" example, the first thing I'd do (and more other employers) is get rid of you ASAP.

    If you'd been there for less than a year, you'd be dismissed immediatly, and without explanation (effectivly perfectly legal)

    If you'd been there for more than a year, you'd be first out the door in any redundancies (as you mention above) that were going - or rather, that could be made.

    That's the polite version.

    The slightly less polite version to handle any blackmail attempt (which is what we're talking about here) is immediate dismissal for gross misconduct.

    Either way, forget asking for a reference - not going to happen. You couldn't be given a bad reference (unlawful), but withholding a reference, or even acknowledgement, can be damaging enough - especially if you've been with a company of any length of time.

    If you're the kind who'll attempt to use blackmail, you CANNOT be trusted to "keep your end up". You'll just keep coming back for more, and more, and more.

    Like the old saying - the best thing to do with a cancer is cut it right out...
  • lutzi1
    lutzi1 Forumite Posts: 2,703
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    ronangel wrote: »
    It all depends if you are thinking on staying at the company for a long time whether it is small or large. If small & you want to get on best to go, afford or not. This is the way to sus out the strengths and weaknesses of the management in these hard times to help you up the ladder in the coming year.You also may notice some indiscretions which should be carefully noted for times in the future when they have to let people go (less than year) or redundancies.. when you are told you will no longer be needed point out what you know to the person in charge gently explaining that as a loyal employee you turned a blind eye to whatever, but if forced to leave you conscience would be clear in making sure that (whoever) found out about it, maybe they would reconsider letting you go with even if possible a promotion & maybe if company could afford it a small pay rise for all your hard work.
    This happened to a close friend in a different way while working for a very important person in public office. Photographs of the person at a xmas do were taken of vip with a scantly clad strip gram jumping on him. My friend using part one, was able to get the photographs & all negatives (long time ago would have had worse repercussions than present time) Placed them on VIPs desk after holidays. The favour returned at a later date helped save my friend from very big problems in the company when accused of being part of something that could have lost him his job which he had no part in but no proof he did not.
    look at the money as a long term investment on your future & GO!


    And a very merry Xmas to you as well. Not nice.
    Hope is not a strategy.
  • crazy_horse_uk
    crazy_horse_uk Forumite Posts: 11 Forumite
    alwayswrite has the best advice. I would add that an offer to organise next year's Christmas 'do' would be very welcome - nobody likes doing it!

    chuk
  • chrimson
    chrimson Forumite Posts: 10 Forumite
    The short answer is if you can't afford it, don't go.
    You don't need to give explanations but the truth always works!
    You can start of the New year NOT in debt because you are trying to "keep up" and you can budget for the next Christmas meal.
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