Real life MMD: Should I go to the Christmas lunch?

Gillsx

I've refused several parties in the past for the same reason. Usually booked by the people who can easily afford it and dont consider those who are on lower wages, have children, etc. I would say go for a drink and make an exit. Or tell them you cant go because its a bit pricey at this time of the year. Don't feel you have to go though - i'm sure there will be other opportunities to socialise that are less costly.

minerva_windsong

Go for a drink after the meal to be sociable, or arrange to do something in the New Year. That way you're still showing your face but it's at minimum cost to you. And, if you're still there next year, offer to organise the do at a place you can afford.

(Also, I'm impressed you've found a train that's running on Boxing Day!)

geordie1234

At a previous job, the managers offered to pay more on a sliding scale where, I think, the lowest paid employees went for free. Maybe a quiet word with the head of department, who will be the highest paid? Send her or him a link to this thread, even!

fredpipes

These things always cost much more than you think - I went to an xmas lunch at Pizza Express on Sunday (no 2-for-1 offers on unfortunately!), had a £6 pizza and a beer - and my share of the bill came to £20! All down to others ordering wine, olives, starters, coffees etc. The cynic's strategy, if you know the bill will be divvied up at the end is to order the most expensive things on the menu! Or leave early, putting a tenner into the hand of the organiser saying: 'that should cover it!'

Mercuryeagle

Definitely go.

Not for blackmail reasons like the other guy was talking about but because it is an investment. Long story short if you want to do well in life you need to be liked by people more powerful than you, and a Christmas meal is one of the best ways to get to know and make friends with the important people in your company.

I'm 22, I spent money I didnt have to go to social events with important people over the last couple of years and now I'm earning a very healthy salary.

My only word of warning is dont drink too much or as we all know it can turn sour, and it'll cost you more.

elizabethhull

This is appalling advice - potentially criminal, at the very least anti-social & mean-spirited. Please don't do anything of the sort.
The advice to be honest is, I think best. Say you would love to go, but you're sorry you can't afford it. If they go without you, wish them a lovely time and MEAN it, no sour grapes - your pleasant attitude will be remembered.
My son-in-law is in a similar position, possibly not quite so bad (after all, he's living off my daughter's salary!!), and I've advised him to go. He's hoping this will be 'the' job after over 3 years just getting odd weeks here & there. He really needs to be seen to be joining in. I've also advised him against any anatomy photocopying(!) or anything else that could be held against him later. Fortunately he doesn't drink much.

ronangel wrote: »

It all depends if you are thinking on staying at the company for a long time whether it is small or large. If small & you want to get on best to go, afford or not. This is the way to sus out the strengths and weaknesses of the management in these hard times to help you up the ladder in the coming year.You also may notice some indiscretions which should be carefully noted for times in the future when they have to let people go (less than year) or redundancies.. when you are told you will no longer be needed point out what you know to the person in charge gently explaining that as a loyal employee you turned a blind eye to whatever, but if forced to leave you conscience would be clear in making sure that (whoever) found out about it, maybe they would reconsider letting you go with even if possible a promotion & maybe if company could afford it a small pay rise for all your hard work.
This happened to a close friend in a different way while working for a very important person in public office. Photographs of the person at a xmas do were taken of vip with a scantly clad strip gram jumping on him. My friend using part one, was able to get the photographs & all negatives (long time ago would have had worse repercussions than present time) Placed them on VIPs desk after holidays. The favour returned at a later date helped save my friend from very big problems in the company when accused of being part of something that could have lost him his job which he had no part in but no proof he did not.
look at the money as a long term investment on your future & GO!

curlysarah_2

geordie1234 wrote: »

At a previous job, the managers offered to pay more on a sliding scale where, I think, the lowest paid employees went for free. Maybe a quiet word with the head of department, who will be the highest paid? Send her or him a link to this thread, even!

I don't think I'd be happy subsidising lower paid colleagues and there's no way I'd suggest this if I was the one who couldn't afford the lunch!!

Wallsendmark123

If i were in your situation, I would skip the lunch but meet up with them afterwards for a drink, your still getting the chance to socialise but your not having to pay the £25 for the meal.

I would be inclined myself to go to your partners fathers boxing day, the chances are if you dont go and your partner does go you could be left alone and your partner would feel guilty about going without you. If your partner does not go as you wont go it could cause ill feeling with his father.

If it comes down to a choice, go to your partners fathers for the day. Work will understand if you cant make the office lunch, and if your office is anything like mine there will be plenty more opportunitys to socialise after Christmas.

Merry Christmas x

london_lass

Honesty is the best policy in situations like this! We are holding a big Xmas party for everyone which is free to get in (and includes a free drink - would like to offer more but we're a charity!) but we're also going out in our separate departments for a lunch which will be paid for out of our own pockets. As such, we've eschewed the "Christmas" menu's on offer round here (work in the City so it's ridiculous the amount they're charging!) and just going to a nearby gastropub-type affair for their regular lunch menu which is £6+ because it's nto fair to expect everyone to pay out £20+ for it!

I would be honest as say you'd love to come (if you would *lol*) but you just can't afford it at this time of year but would like to join them for drinks beforehand or at a later date if possible.

I would see if you can stretch to going to your partner's Dad's though - it's the time to see family and you could be forcing him to choose between you and his parent, which isn't a nice choice to put anyone under! Maybe look at travellign early/late for the cheapest fare, or even goign by coach if it's nto too far (not glamorous but much cheaper!)

JWF1958

scotsbob wrote: »

Make them feel guilty and tell them the truth. You would love to have lunch with them but not at that price. Their next move will give you an indication of how much they value your company.

Yes, I agree, don't give in to emotional blackmail. You may also find others agreeing with you but for some reason don't feel free to express their opinion.