Real life MMD: Should I go to the Christmas lunch?

rachm84_3

You could say you would love to go to your boyfriend's Dads on boxing day if he is willing to pay for the train and then you can afford to go to the meal and do both!
:beer:

Augustus_the_Strong

In our team, we subsidise the less well-paid members of the team. So for a £25 meal, the higher-paid people would pay £30, the lower-paid £20. Nobody minds, everybody's happy. The important thing is that everyone feels able to attend. Another option would be for everyone to pay 'actuals' so you can choose the cheap options. Ideally the boss pays for all the drinks!

If you don't go to your boyfriend's father's house on Boxing Day, make sure you send him a nice present (home-made goodies?).

Merry Christmas!

julie777

Far too many people are stupid enough to overspend at Christmas because of what is "expected". Forget traditions. Buy presents at any time of year when you can afford it. Go to the family another week. ;)And enjoy a treat at home if you can't afford a night out. Don't worry about what to tell them. Just do what is right for you.

lougarry

The problem I've found with saying I can't afford it is that a very sweet colleague now wants to pay for me! I'm pretty sure she's not so much better off than I am, so I am scrimping elsewhere to be able to go. As we are under threat of redundancy it might well be our last office night out altogether so I've decided it's one I really can't miss.

pensionernige

This is a case of prioritising your expenditure. Unfortunately if you do not have the money then the answer is you do not go. If you do go to the works dinner then you introduce a relationship problem and I would suggest that no works dinner is worth that.

Of course christmas is an annual event and there is nothing like putting away an amount every pay day so that you do not spend it, to provide for the events.

Socialising is not an event to borrow for.

Pembroke

How about having a large meal at the lunch then a very small sandwich in the Evening ?

Or do as a lot of our club members did at a recent do and ask for a doggy bag, then you don't have to fork out for one meal at home sometime in the near future and so you're in effect paying half price.

kevanf1

Just be honest and say you can't afford it. Be as public as you can be and I'd be willing to bet that others will soon join you that were too 'frightened' to be as honest as you are.

minicooper272

I've been in a really similar situation before... It's tough! We were looking to do a secret santa swap last year and I didn't really have money to waste on one meal. To get round it I arranged for everyone to come to my flat and bring a dish. We had a really good, cheap night and there was lots of food! If this was something possible at your work, I'm sure others would really like the chance to save a bit too!

It really sucks to be left out of these things. If you think going will help build your work relationships and help you stand out with your boss then go! It's investing money in your career, and I'm sure a nice friend will loan you £25 for a month or 2! If not, just explain. Definitely bear in mind that the cost for the night won't just stop at £25 - there will be drinks and everything to pay for as well.

pfmoody

I think you'll have to find a better excuse for Boxing Day (at least, if you mean the 26th rather than the substitute holiday on the 28th) - there aren't any trains that day!

airheadgreg

hmmm, really clutching at straws here for moral dilemmas. This isn't a moral dilemma in any way, it's a choice of spending the money now and having to save later or saving now and spend later.

Just spend the money. It's £25, even if you consider that a large amount for a meal, if you think it will give you a better social standing at work, it seems a meagre cost to pay. Or save the £25 and be shunned for being the person who wouldn't go to the Christmas do!

I am being paid a penitence at the moment but we just had our Christmas dinner, helping me to fit into the business, socialise and network (I met a number of people who I've been emailing but never had the chance to meet) and all for what? So I can't go out for the next week or so, I think the opportunity cost is pretty clear there...