Been asked out....timing awful...any advice?!? **UPDATE POST #38!**

Littlemadam83

Just looked through your previous posts, and oh my goodness, it's not like you split with him yesterday.

You are totally deserving of a bit of fun and making new friends. Yes look after you and your kids, but jees, if anything this will boost your happiness which will reflect onto the kids.

Have a fab time, enjoy the friendship and if it doesn't work out then atleast you had a nice time and it got you smiling again

foreign_correspondent

Starrystarrynight wrote: »

I think the fact that you can't stop smiling speaks volumes, OP!

really? I go like that if anyone flirts with me, even if I wouldn't touch 'em with a barge pole! It's just the ego boost I think, after being in a relationship for so long, and thinking I would never be flirted with again!

Good luck though - I've been single since the end of august, and so far I have been holding fire on getting involved with anyone else, as I dont want to drag them into some sort of mess of a rebound situation... its difficult to know when that phase ends though I find!

Rockinbikergal

Hugs Emsy I hope you have a really good time catching up with an old friend on Friday night, not as though you are out ripping up the town every weekend so enjoy and never listen to the misery guts telling you you have to put your life on hold because you split with your ex 6 months ago...I think the fact you have had the baby he left you with speaks volumes.......

JimmyTheWig

Great news about Friday, Emsy. Looking forward to an update of how it went.

I'm sure it's not on the cards yet, but when it is, remember to be safe. Even if you're feeding your baby (don't think it's been mentioned one way or the other) you can fall pregnant before your first period.

rachel6188

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

Just looked through your previous posts, and oh my goodness, it's not like you split with him yesterday.

You are totally deserving of a bit of fun and making new friends. Yes look after you and your kids, but jees, if anything this will boost your happiness which will reflect onto the kids.

Have a fab time, enjoy the friendship and if it doesn't work out then atleast you had a nice time and it got you smiling again

^^^ yeah that...i really hope you have a lovely time huni. xx

fluffnutter

Having been slammed for my previous post has merely made me all the more inclined to elaborate further. Having children is hard work. Having a C section takes a toll on your body. The current romantic ideal that you're not whole without a partner; that you can't function as a woman or parent without some bloke in tow; that you're not fulfilled without male attention means that women spend an inordinate amount of time preening themselves just to make themselves attractive enough to find some mate.

You've got a three week old baby !!!!!!, another child and a wound that's still healing. But rather than focus on any of these, you'd rather get yourself back on the market. That seems to be an odd priority to me.

shellsuit

For those knocking anyone who has dared to disagree with what ems is doing, for me it's not going out so soon after having the baby at all, it's because of the obvious romantic side of it, otherwise why would ems bother caring what her body looks like and why can't the guy just come to her house to see her if they already know each other?

Of course she doesn't have to stay in all the time and be glued to the kids, but she's been asked out on a date (or that's the impression I'm getting from what's been said), not just a coffee and a catch up.

lunastar

fluffnutter, the OP has already stated the akward timing of the situation and has also stated that catching up online has turned into her being asked out. How this is the same as her being more interested in getting herself back on the market than her kids I have no idea. Sometimes the best things come along at the strangest of times, yes the timing wrt a C-section is far from ideal, but realistically what is the harm in the OP going out for one night?

I know people who have gone out to all day p1ss ups at festival/local radio gigs a few days after giving birth. Wouldn't be my choice, but I wasnt aware that peopple were put on house arrest and their happiness had to be put on hold for a certain duration postpartum.

Get a grip and be happy for her. There are too many misery guts people about nowadays.

Littlemadam83

fluffnutter wrote: »

You've got a three week old baby !!!!!!, another child and a wound that's still healing. But rather than focus on any of these, you'd rather get yourself back on the market. That seems to be an odd priority to me.

I think back on the market is the wrong phrase. Sure, Emsy has priorities, and she isn't going out to the local meat market to pick up some guy. She is meeting an old friend for something that may lead to something. I cannot imagine how it feels to be post birth and all stretched, but I know that it would be aq huge pick me up just for a little male attention, a good time. An excuse to get looking good again. I agree you should not get made up to look good for a man, but a pampering session would do wonders followed by said company.

It's been 6 months since she had a loser for a boyfriend/husband we all need social interaction whether it be male or female.

Rockinbikergal

shellsuit wrote: »

For those knocking anyone who has dared to disagree with what ems is doing, for me it's not going out so soon after having the baby at all, it's because of the obvious romantic side of it, otherwise why would ems bother caring what her body looks like and why can't the guy just come to her house to see her if they already know each other?

Of course she doesn't have to stay in all the time and be glued to the kids, but she's been asked out on a date (or that's the impression I'm getting from what's been said), not just a coffee and a catch up.

Read back.....that was discussed as well......I think after what Emsy has been through if she really feels the need for a night out then she deserves it....after all they are old friends as well so why can't friends go out for a drink and a catch up if that is what is needed to lift spirits...being couped up in the house for 3 weeks following the birth of her little one must be giving her cabin fever, especially as the baby isn't the only child there....of course there is a possible romantic side but the main thing in the whole story is they are old friends who are going for a catch up and to see what happens you can't put your life on hold forever and when is a good time to meet someone, old friend or not????

Sorry Emsy I wasn't going to repost after saying get yourself out there and have some fun but tbh the people who are being wet blankets and so judgemental are making my blood boil and I just had to post again, lol......and I know I don't have to read the comments before I get told so.....but I think you are wise going out to meet up, you don't want to let the kids get confused even though he is an old friend and tbh even at that he could have changed a lot in the past 10 years so you are better letting people know where you are going and meeting him in a public place...is that not what advice is given when meeting anyone off the internet????