Been asked out....timing awful...any advice?!? **UPDATE POST #38!**

emsywoo123

Sooooooooooo.........

I have 2 children, DD (7) and DS (3 weeks!!!) and somehow got chatting to an old friend on facebook for a week or so, he has asked me out.......

But the timing! I had a C section 3 weeks ago, I look like an old spongy pudding, and I do not know what to do.........any advice? Leave it in the past?

Apricot

Go for it!
You'll never know otherwise.....he might be your prince charming!

Counting_Pennies_2

Does the person understand your current circumstances?

If no, I think you should probably go back, explain the circumstances and suggest waiting a few months until things are back to semi normality.

If he does, then at least he is prepared for that and maybe say things are a little crazy but in a few weeks time it will be lovely. Set a date for the new year and see how things go.

hth

PS you will be able to wear spanx in just over a month, that will hold the majority of the sag in. I had to wait for 3 months as my scar took a while to heal so don't force them until it is comfortable to wear

Amanda65

Assuming that the baby's father is no longer on the scene, and that the old friend knows your circumstances, then why not ? Although I would make sure that you feel comfortable with leaving the baby etc. and if you want to give it a few more weeks then say so - if he's worth it he'll be happy to wait. Good luck

[Deleted User]

...and he is probably worried about his bald spot and his dodgy dress sense.

Don't stress too much. Go out and enjoy yourself and see it as nothing more than a catch up with an old friend and if anything happens it happens.

emsywoo123

Thank you for all the replies so far

yes, he knows my circs in full. we were very close 10 years ago, worked in a pub, there was a very close group of us, he was dating one of the other girls in the group! But we all used to go out together,.

Childcare is not an issue, so it's not a impractical suggestion........

There's been a bit of flirting by text, I have told him that I look like poop at the minute LOL........

I jsut don't know if I should let him remember the carefree 20 year old, and enjoy the attention (by text)........my worry is we'll meet, he'll be disappointed, and that'll be that! at least at the minute it's a bit of excitement in a world of regurgitated baby milk and nappies!! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

thatgirlsam

it depends - do you want to start a new relationship?

i got asked out at work recently and i made an excuse as i really don't want a realtionship at the moment..

i know one date doesn't mean marraige or anything, i just didn't want to waste his time really as i am far too busy for a man!

jcr16

just be honest with him and enjoy it.
]
tbh whem i was 17/18 yes i was carefree and had a fantastic time. but i feel now i'm a mum i am a much better person now than when i was then.there no reason why you can't have a bit of texting banter between you. hubby and i still do and we been married 9 years. it fun, it builds the excitement.

just be confidant, be yourself. at the end of the day your body has created two lives. all the bumps, lumps and scars ( i've had 3 sections in 4 yrs so i do understand ) are there for a reason so be proud.

sarymclary

emsywoo123 wrote: »

There's been a bit of flirting by text, I have told him that I look like poop at the minute LOL........

I jsut don't know if I should let him remember the carefree 20 year old, and enjoy the attention (by text)........my worry is we'll meet, he'll be disappointed, and that'll be that! at least at the minute it's a bit of excitement in a world of regurgitated baby milk and nappies!! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

You have to remember that he's 10 years older too, and may have changed quite a bit too.

An old schoolfriend, who I had a major crush on when I was about 16/17 got in touch via mutual old friends earlier this year. All these years I'd kept this picture in my head of what he was like, and then I saw him post some recent pictures on facebook... let's just say the years hadn't been kind, and he must have had a very long paperround as a kid!

Why don't you just look upon this guy as a friend, and appreciate the chance of a rekindled friendship, which takes the pressure off you for now, but also gives the chance for an opportunity for something more to develop.

Regardless of how you feel about yourself, you shouldn't be looking at getting physically involved with anyone prior to your post-natal check-up (not making any judgement there, just a medical note). You'll probably have worked out that you get more tired post CS, than after a normal birth, so don't let him think you'll be up to chats into the small hours if he wants to come over, or take you out.

A bit of flirting is just what you need as a tonic to get over the chaos of giving birth, so enjoy it.

Good luck!

balletshoes

emsywoo123 wrote: »

Sooooooooooo.........

I have 2 children, DD (7) and DS (3 weeks!!!) and somehow got chatting to an old friend on facebook for a week or so, he has asked me out.......

But the timing! I had a C section 3 weeks ago, I look like an old spongy pudding, and I do not know what to do.........any advice? Leave it in the past?

if you feel like going out, go, but go as friends, to catch up on old times. that way theres little pressure on either of you to make it something its not (or not, yet) .

emsywoo123

sarymclary wrote: »

An old schoolfriend, who I had a major crush on when I was about 16/17 got in touch via mutual old friends earlier this year. All these years I'd kept this picture in my head of what he was like, and then I saw him post some recent pictures on facebook... let's just say the years hadn't been kind, and he must have had a very long paperround as a kid!

Now you see I thought it might be the same with him.....but noooooooooo....recent pics on Facebook show he has grown from a cute 18/19 year old into um a tasty looking man :T