Such awful news

bylromarha

((hugs))

OP - thoughts are with you and your family

zippybungle

Hi,

Sorry to hear your sad news.

I have been through something simular with my 2nd pregnancy when I went for my 20 week scan (over 6 years ago). The news wasn't good, and after having various tests, scans, medication etc, I decided to end the pregnancy and was induced at 23 weeks and gave birth to a sleeping baby.

It was a horrible time, and I couldn't immagine moving on with my life, but you do. The old cliche that 'time is a great healer is true. I went on to have another son and then a Girl (both healthy).

Go easy on yourself and be there for your son and partner if they need you.

Zippy x

Tulip

So Sorry to hear your sad news,Hope all went well

*hugs* to you and your family.

jennyjelly

Hi, just thought I would post an update.

Sadly yesterday showed that the baby had far more problems than we thought, some of them major to the extent that DIL should normally have miscarried naturally early on but for some reason didn't. They are arranging a termination this week.

Hopefully the amnio results will reassure them that this won't necessarily happen next time, but we have to wait a couple of weeks for them to come through.

Awful though it is, I'm glad that the result was so definite and the decision was not a difficult one that would have left them wondering whether they were doing the right thing. They have been reassured that they have done nothing to cause this and there really is no alternative. Mother nature can be such a b1tch.

Although they say they don't want counselling I am going to contact ARC to see if there is anything I can do to help, and so that I have a number for them to call if they change their minds.

Thanks to everyone for your sympathy and good wishes, you have really helped me to deal with this the best I can.

To those of you who have experienced this yourselves, my heart goes out to you. Nobody should have to go through this.

PHYTHIAN

lauren_1 wrote: »

Refering to age and trying again is probably ranking in the top 5 of things not to say to a couple who may lose their baby one way or another. Especially as they may both carriers of a faulty gene.

I hope the amnio shows that what ever may be wrong with the baby is not hereditary.

Maybe I was wrong but I meant no harm or offence and apologise unreservedly

jennyjelly

Phythian, please don't beat yourself up! What you said was said with the best of intentions, and honestly you are not the only person to have said it! Even my DH said it (though he shut up when I kicked him;))

So please, there is no need to apologise or feel bad, I really appreciate that you took the time to post and offer your sympathy.

jackieb

Aww, i'm so sorry Jenny. As you said, if the results weren't conclusive, they might have always wondered what might have been. Still a heartbreaking thing to have to go through in any case. I like Zippy's description of giving birth to a sleeping baby. :A God bless you all. xxx

RacyRed

Jenny I'm so sorry.

When I lost my first my gran told me that the pain in my heart was always going to be there, but time would smooth away the sharp edges and that the warmer my heart was, the faster the process would be.

May the tide of time flow smoothly for your family.

(((hugs)))

kingfisherblue

Thank you for taking the time to update us - my thoughts are with you and your family at this time.

nearlyrich

Thanks for the update so sorry that this is the outcome and my thoughts are with you as you all go through this, hope you can all look after each other and keep strong xxx