Nice people thread part 3- Nice as pie

elona

Pastures

You are not useless and it is not your fault. I can't navigate myself out of a paper bag and know how horrible it is when rushed and anxious trying to find somewhere. Adding a time limit as well would make anyone upset.

Delighted you enjoyed the class and it can only get easier from here as far as navigation etc goes.

lostinrates

PasturesNew wrote: »

I'm feeling delicate today, had a complete meltdown trying to attend my new evening class
God I was in a state of complete collapse (I'd even had a tearful episode or three).

The College isn't set up for people like me. ...

Pastures it sounds like you did just fine. Please remember that quite despite your challenges you'd find a lot of people with out those would find a situation like that challenging if more used to their own company and taking care of parents etc. I bet that if you could have seen inside other people they would have nervous/confused/worried as well as keen and interested.

lemonjelly

PasturesNew wrote: »

I'm feeling delicate today, had a complete meltdown trying to attend my new evening class
God I was in a state of complete collapse (I'd even had a tearful episode or three).

The College isn't set up for people like me. The campus is referred to by name in letters, but when you get there it doesn't use that name at all. There are maps, but they are all arty farty, faded and none of them say "you are here". So I did a lot of coming/going, parking a few times, wandering round in circles, getting distressed at maps, before leaving the whole area and coming back again. I had a room number, and the room numbers were in number order, except that one didn't exist. It was all down to people knowing where they were going and I didn't.

To cut a long, hideous, horrendous, story short .... I made it - and got on great, loving it.

In tears now though at how useless I am at just achieving simple things out in the real world. It should be easy, but they don't put signs/labels on places. The feelings, the aching inside of not being able to function outside of my known zones, without meltdowns/tears, it's all just horrid. Lots of horrible distress/meltdown experiences last night just trying to find the right room, lots. It hurts to think of them so blotting it out now. Nuff said....

PN anyone, whether they are "speshul" or no, struggles in a new alien environment. I know I get the heebie-jeebies whenever I have to go somewhere I've never been before, or with people I don't know.

& as LIR/elona have said, you overcame this barrier you saw, made it to the class, & had a really good time by the sounds of things.

Give yourself some kudos girl!:)

Plus, if you really feel you're struggling, the college would have a support team who will bend over backwards to help you stay on your course and complete it. Ours where I work do a sterling job! Just ask...:)

lemonjelly

I wanted to add in a load of quotes, but the forum won't let me do as many as I'd like, but to those who have signed the petition, & liked the facebook for Birmingham CAB, I thank you, from deep down inside.

It is really heartwarming to see people respond so positively.:o

Last night I posed the link on a football forum I go on. I'm not ashamed to say the response from those on there was so heartwarming, I got a little emotional about it.:cool:

For Emphasis
THANK YOU EVERYONE!:T

Davesnave

Pastures, the more you do, the better it gets.

DD2, being dyslexic, used to find travelling around on her own a total nightmare, but a couple of years on and she feels she can do it without undue stress now. It's not that she reads better, just that she has developed coping strategies.

Also, as she says, "Nobody dies if I miss a connection or turn up late."

lemonjelly

silvercar wrote: »

A photo arrives on my phone.

Of an ear

with an earring...

a minute or two later I realise that the ear belongs to eldest son,

as does the earring.

not impressed

I remember getting my eyebrow pierced when I was about 20ish.

Of course I never told my folks or anything. After a few evenings of avoiding them, coming home late etc, eventually we got to a weekend. Lazy me lounged around in bed after coming home late again. Mom got sick of my laziness & came to get me out of bed.

Now I knew this could happen, so I cunningly used to doze off with my head under the covers...;)

Of course, I had moved in my sleep, so mum stumbles in, ranting away about me being a lazy so&so, and throws open the curtains telling me in no uncertain terms that I'm not spending all day in bed...

...when suddenly she stops, & it all goes quiet. So I'm lying there, eyes shut, sleepy, wondering why it has gone quiet...

...then the realisation hits me like a train...brain realizes OMG she's seen the eyebrow ring OMGwhatisgonnahappenshe'sgonnablow!

BOOM!

You aren't staying in my house like that what on earth do you think you've done what are you playing at wait til your father gets home...

(no breath pauses, no punctuation, one long tirade.)

That evening, I got a lecture. I had a week to get that ring out or I was out on my ear.

11 years later I was still there, & I kept that ring in the eyebrow for 2-3 years IIRC.:)

lostinrates

Davesnave wrote: »

Also, as she says, "Nobody dies if I miss a connection or turn up late."

What gives me the heebeegeebies is that everybody here could die if I get held up! (I think big dog would eat dog-dog if her supper was too late :eek:). And my house would be full of widdle and poop. Yuck.

Doozer, I'm so sorry about your cat. This one I totally get. My childhood cat dies the year I went to university, we'd been born at much the same time and been round the world together, she my constant and patient friend. When we were apart she'd still sleep o my bed, or with my stuff and when we were together she'd purr and purr and follow me miles on walks. I'll never not miss her. The pet cats we have now were choses in her honour, and the one the same colour as her is strangely, very like her in personality and also ''chooses me''. I sometimes dream I've given birth to the cats. :eek:
The love of a cat is a very special thing. We're lucky to have experienced it.

lostinrates

lemonjelly wrote: »

I had a week to get that ring out or I was out on my ear.

I was just straight out on my pierced ears for a few days till the parent had calmed down. I remember thinking the hypocrisy was amazing that they'd chuck me out (and the obvious place to go was into a boyfriends bed) but not consider me old enough to pin cushion myself. That was just for normal ear-piercing. About six months later I got a second set that, in truth...I wasn't that fussed about and wouldn't have got had the reaction not been so impressive.....isn't teenage rebellion pathetic?:o:D Also, I note they bought my nieces earrings when their ears were done younger than I had mine done.

edit: I'm like the living dead...I just didn't get a wink of sleep last night, not one. The cats got grumpy because I was keeping them awake. Just been up and they are asleep under the duvet, spoons, with heir little heads on the pillow. I wish I could jump back in with them! still, only about 11 and a half hours till bed time I hope!

lemonjelly

lostinrates wrote: »

I was just straight out on my pierced ears for a few days till the parent had calmed down. I remember thinking the hypocrisy was amazing that they'd chuck me out (and the obvious place to go was into a boyfriends bed) but not consider me old enough to pin cushion myself. That was just for normal ear-piercing. About six months later I got a second set that, in truth...I wasn't that fussed about and wouldn't have got had the reaction not been so impressive.....isn't teenage rebellion pathetic?:o:D Also, I note they bought my nieces earrings when their ears were done younger than I had mine done.!

Too true LIR!
My nephews get away with blue murder when my parents are around. Grandparents have completely different rules! I can never recall my parents suggesting a piece of cake as an option when my brother or I declined to eat our dinner, or us being allowed to leave the table! My nephews are allowed to (not by brother/wife, but by may parents/their grandparents).

lostinrates wrote: »

edit: I'm like the living dead...I just didn't get a wink of sleep last night, not one. The cats got grumpy because I was keeping them awake. Just been up and they are asleep under the duvet, spoons, with heir little heads on the pillow. I wish I could jump back in with them! still, only about 11 and a half hours till bed time I hope!

I'm whacked. Not enough hours in the day. Not enough time to see the people I want to see. I try, but it is too much sometimes. Need sleep & relaxation. Hate to let frineds down at the same time, and also miss out on spending good quality time with them.

The tennis match is good though...:)

Doozergirl

lostinrates wrote: »

Pastures it sounds like you did just fine. Please remember that quite despite your challenges you'd find a lot of people with out those would find a situation like that challenging if more used to their own company and taking care of parents etc. I bet that if you could have seen inside other people they would have nervous/confused/worried as well as keen and interested.

I'd bet that too. In fact I'm certain.

If it was me, Pastures, I'd have given up that first time, turned up at home sobbing and vowed never to go back! It's a real achievement not to give up and I'm really pleased you're enjoying it and that the plan is going well so far.