* Advise needed - benefits... *

Blue_Diamond

Hmmmm...... Worth a try I guess. Thank u for your help x

GlasweJen

She would only get DLA for care/mobility needs, ESA if she is unfit for work. It sounds from your OP that your mum is using her mild MH problems to avoid living in the real world, there are no benefits for that. She either signs on and presents herself for work or goes without financial help. She could get help with her council tax due to low income.

Blue_Diamond

GlasweJen wrote: »

She would only get DLA for care/mobility needs, ESA if she is unfit for work. It sounds from your OP that your mum is using her mild MH problems to avoid living in the real world, there are no benefits for that. She either signs on and presents herself for work or goes without financial help. She could get help with her council tax due to low income.

You got it all in one!!! Only thing I can do it see if we can get help with Council Tax in reality then. She will refuse to claim JSA as have to attend workshops etc.

Jowo_2

Blue_Diamond wrote: »

She worked 10 years ago, and has not worked since. I supported her for 8 years, but as circumstances have changed finacially for me, I am no longer able to support her anymore. She was claiming JSA for 6 months, but decided then she just could not work and stopped the claim. From there she claimed DLA and ESA, but these have come to a stop now too...

You are stuck between a rock and hard place, poor thing, and have inadvertently enabled her withdrawal from the world, now a decade long, so I guess she runs out of options apart from appealing the ESA and DLA decisions. Perhaps a specialist benefit advisor could review and help produce the appeal documents as they may be better placed at filling in the contents with more success?

Is there anyway she would seek advice with a relevant MH support group, such as an online or local group that deals with agorophobia or depression (whatever issue she has)?

dmg24

Jowo wrote: »

You are stuck between a rock and hard place, poor thing, and have inadvertently enabled her withdrawal from the world, now a decade long, so I guess she runs out of options apart from appealing the ESA and DLA decisions. Perhaps a specialist benefit advisor could review and help produce the appeal documents as they may be better placed at filling in the contents with more success?

Is there anyway she would seek advice with a relevant MH support group, such as an online or local group that deals with agorophobia or depression (whatever issue she has)?

The decisions were made more than one month ago, so an appeal would not be suitable.

GlasweJen

Blue Diamond, I have a relative like this, no one wants to leave him to get on with it because he claims he "can't cope" but even our GP who is ace and has known the family forever has said that he would be better off in work. He claims HB, CTB and expects everyone else to finance food, clothes etc. The family are getting sick of him and have threatened many times to cut him loose and make him get on with it but they never will "in case it becomes too much". He will probably outlive my parents, he's in for a shock if he thinks I'll be picking up his life after him for eternity, when my parents aren't able to do it we'll be telling him to grow up.

Blue_Diamond

Jowo wrote: »

You are stuck between a rock and hard place, poor thing, and have inadvertently enabled her withdrawal from the world, now a decade long, so I guess she runs out of options apart from appealing the ESA and DLA decisions. Perhaps a specialist benefit advisor could review and help produce the appeal documents as they may be better placed at filling in the contents with more success?

Is there anyway she would seek advice with a relevant MH support group, such as an online or local group that deals with agorophobia or depression (whatever issue she has)?

My mum worked 10 years ago for only 4 years after her divorse. Prior to that, she never worked. I have always had to support her. So should I apply for DLA and ESA again, then appeal it if rejected??

Blue_Diamond

GlasweJen wrote: »

Blue Diamond, I have a relative like this, no one wants to leave him to get on with it because he claims he "can't cope" but even our GP who is ace and has known the family forever has said that he would be better off in work. He claims HB, CTB and expects everyone else to finance food, clothes etc. The family are getting sick of him and have threatened many times to cut him loose and make him get on with it but they never will "in case it becomes too much". He will probably outlive my parents, he's in for a shock if he thinks I'll be picking up his life after him for eternity, when my parents aren't able to do it we'll be telling him to grow up.

So you know what its like. My mum ONLY has me, no one else. She states she wants to sell our 2 bed flat and move to India. I know she will not survive there. Her ideas are outragous. She has really given up on life, and there is nothing I can do about it. I have tried to be hard too, but always back fires. Im now 30, looking to get married soon etc, and feel she is really holding me back in life

Jowo_2

How long until she is due her state pension? and what's the state of her national insurance contributions?

Jowo_2

Blue_Diamond wrote: »

So you know what its like. My mum ONLY has me, no one else. She states she wants to sell our 2 bed flat and move to India. I know she will not survive there. Her ideas are outragous.

Do you think this is a genuine desire, an example of how her ideas are reckless because she is desperate or a form of blackmail and attention seeking (a bigger way of saying that she's going out into the garden to eat worms)?

Blue_Diamond wrote: »

..I have tried to be hard too, but always back fires. Im now 30, looking to get married soon etc, and feel she is really holding me back in life

Perhaps you need to look after yourself, perhaps have some counselling so you can better understand the relationship you have with her and its impact on you? A good counsellor will understand about the toll it would have taken on you and the manipulative strategies and sabotage that goes on in family relationships. Most counselling is person centred, they won't issue advice and force you to make decisions, but it could help you understand the forces at work and make things clearer to you.