Frightened of my lodger - help???

richardvc

Hi SB47 - what a horrible situation to be in especially in the one place you should feel safe.

I admire your consideration for him after all the things he has subjected you to as well as not paying you for the privilege of staying in your home.

Whilst he may be suffering with his mental anxieties I personally do not feel that it is your responsibility to deal with them on a day to day basis especially as he did not tell you about them beforehand.

Be me right or wrong, I think he needs to be removed from your house asap for both your sakes.

If he did get violent towards to you and the Police intervened then he could end up in serious trouble ie court/prison and imagine what the Police would say if you said that he had threatened you previously ??!!

You must do whatever you think is the right thing but living unhappily/terrified in your own home is a very cruel thing to subject someone to and needs to be stamped out asap.

Good Luck !

BitterAndTwisted

I think for his own sake he should very probably be sectioned and the Police might be able to have that happen

G_M

sugarbabe-47 wrote: »

Hi DVardy

Thank you for that - I already am racked with guilt over this one, No need - you are bending over backwards - far too far......

I will be organising with the Police to come and sit with me to explain to him that I am not renewing his agreement ...........PLEASE! No! You need to tell him to leave now. Not 'am not renewing his agreement' which I assume means he can stay till January.

I came home from work early one day a few weeks ago and he was physically hitting my dog........ You are in fear. Your dog is being hit. ??????

I do not fully understand his mental health issues but in reality is not my problem, Sugar x

You HAVE to look after number 1. (and the dog).

pippa80

Just chipping in to agree with those above ... you should continue with the plan to have the police around, but you should be telling him to leave now, not in January!!

You must look after yourself (and the dog!), but this situation doesn't sound good for him either.

BitterAndTwisted

Sugarbabe, PLEASE do not let this lodger stay until January! The agreement you have signed is not legally binding and you are under no obligation to let him stay until then. If you are living in fear of what he has done and what he might do have a think about how much his state might have deteriorated between now and January if he's not taking his medication. He needs to be given a week's notice at the very most and during that week you should ensure that you have someone else staying with you for your own safety. Talk to the Police officer about how they might arrange to have him sectioned for his own protection.

FatVonD

Don't rely on the Police coming when you call them (they will but you may have an anxious wait), arrive with them and ask him to leave while they are there. Explain about his bi-polar and let them decide if any other agencies should be there too. I'd be tempted to line up somewhere for him to move into so he's not hanging around with the possibility of keep coming back and if you have to do that beforehand with Social Services then so be it.

Absolutely do NOT have him in your home for any notice period (do you know what he's doing to your dog while you're not there, there may be good reason why the dog is frightened of him.)

Good luck, I hope you get this horrible situation sorted soon.

HappyMJ

FatVonD wrote: »

Don't rely on the Police coming when you call them (they will but you may have an anxious wait)

Why not? Every time I've been involved with police they come and they come quick. You need to say (screaming down the phone works best) that you are being threatened and are in fear of your safety and they'll be around ASAP. Trust me on this they don't get calls from the public to then sit on it for the next half hour thinking about when to visit you. They'll be there in the time it takes to drive from the station to your house at high speed if necessary.

honeyD

You are scared of him, he is beating your dog and you are going to let him stay until January?! Are you crazy?! He should be out of the door by now with no looking back! He is totally taking advantage here and using his agressiveness to keep you in the corner and not kick him out. He most likely knows you are scared but keeps doing it because he can!
The only way to stop him is to get him out NOW! If not for your sake then for your poor dog! What if he does something more extreme to the dog? How would you feel then? Would you still keep him til January? You owe him nothing, you have helped as much as you can and now it is time for him to stand on his own feet and find some other mug to take him in. You are crazy to let him stay, absolutely 100% crazy. No way would I do it, not in a million years.

Caroline_a

I would not leave my dog with this man, if I had to I would put him in kennels until he has left. Please listen to the rest of us and get rid now!

amcluesent

Will it be dog for Xmas dinner?