Frightened of my lodger - help???

sugarbabe-47

Thanks Ih8stress....I am a little calmer now than I was, but I also work 7 days a week...just getting my finances back on track after my B/R.(very long story) And I also have the worry of losing my f/time job next March..I thought renting a room out to a friend would be the perfect solution, well financially anyway.
I am going to try and get my nephews and son over and then call the Police and then shelter for advise, I simply cannot live in fear anymore regardless of his mental state...I will keep you all posted and once again many many thanks for the replies/advice.
I am going to go to bed now as I am weary and very tired mentally myself.
Thank you all again

Sugar x

busiscoming2

Just found your post and want to wish you luck. I can only imagine how awful this situation must be for you.

nell53

Good idea. Sleep well.

sugarbabe-47

Terrysdelight..thank you. However he has some furniture too, and I do feel guilty...but I know what you are all saying...I am going to sleep on it tonight as my head is pounding with it all.
GM thank you, I hear what you are saying..maybe because I am mentally tired from it all I feel so vulnerable...I know it is wrong to be living in fear - but I wish I could be a harder person than I am....my strength is being sucked away slowly...
Goodnight all my eyes are hurting now and I am up for work tomorrow...thank you all again
Sugar x

ih8stress

sugarbabe-47 wrote: »

Thanks Ih8stress....I am a little calmer now than I was, but I also work 7 days a week...just getting my finances back on track after my B/R.(very long story) And I also have the worry of losing my f/time job next March..I thought renting a room out to a friend would be the perfect solution, well financially anyway.
I am going to try and get my nephews and son over and then call the Police and then shelter for advise, I simply cannot live in fear anymore regardless of his mental state...I will keep you all posted and once again many many thanks for the replies/advice.
I am going to go to bed now as I am weary and very tired mentally myself.
Thank you all again

Sugar x

Glad you are feeling calmer, Sugar. Like others have said, you sound like a strong person to have got where you are, so far.

Try not to worry too much about your job problem - that is a 'maybe' in the future. You need to concentrate on the here and now. (It's too easy to worry about lots of things at once and feel overwhelmed by it all).

You have taken the first step in resolving the situation, now you just need to put it all into practice. Stay calm, focused, positive and don't be bullied into feeling bad about any of this. If anything he has taken advantage of your good nature. Today is the day you say 'enough is enough'.

No doubt you will already feel better, having a plan of action, and getting help from family and friends.

Good luck. Hope you sleep well and feel refreshed tomorrow.

poppysarah

This morning you need to ring the local police station and speak to someone.

You are in fear and it doesn't matter if he's a lodger or a partner or anyone else... it's YOUR home and you should feel safe in it.

Get the relatives round and get them to stay until he goes and locks are changed. If he has furniture then it can stay until he can arrange a van (tops a week maybe) but he needs to go.

His medical condition is NOTHING to do with you. Your only priority is to get your home back.

Sambucus_Nigra

sugarbabe-47 wrote: »

However he has some furniture too, and I do feel guilty...

Sorry - but are you really worried about YOUR furniture or your life? Priorities - and furniture can be rebought......

C'mon - for one day only, do the brave thing and get rid.

He's a lodger and you can get him out today.......he should have thought of all this before he started on you.

sugarbabe-47

good evening all

I contacted the Police this morning at 10.30am and must say I feel a lot safer now, knowing that they are prepared to help me. I never doubted the Police but I am old school and thought I would be wasting Police time using 999!! I have a log number and been told to 999 if any more trouble and they will come and take him away for me.I feel safer now. At least everything is down in writing and logged. Thanks guys for being there for me last night I really really appreciate it
I have just come back from work and feel tons better about the situation now. The agreement runs out in January and I aint renewing it and I am going to inform the L/A that too as I believe he is claiming benefits. If he starts on me again in any way shape or form I will just get the Police to move him out. I must admit I was worried about any repercussions but they have assured me there wont be, I am also going to arrange with the Police to come and sit with me when I tell him AGAIN I want him to leave as they have advised me to and give them enough notice to arrange for an Officer to be present.
My mind is at ease now and I certainly feel better about things.
I am going to inform my family tomorrow and they will be relieved I am sure.
Once again thanks and if anyone needs any help on the B/R forum give me a nudge;)

Sugar x

Gwhiz

sugarbabe-47 wrote: »

good evening all

I contacted the Police this morning at 10.30am and must say I feel a lot safer now, knowing that they are prepared to help me. I never doubted the Police but I am old school and thought I would be wasting Police time using 999!! I have a log number and been told to 999 if any more trouble and they will come and take him away for me.I feel safer now. At least everything is down in writing and logged. Thanks guys for being there for me last night I really really appreciate it
I have just come back from work and feel tons better about the situation now. The agreement runs out in January and I aint renewing it and I am going to inform the L/A that too as I believe he is claiming benefits. If he starts on me again in any way shape or form I will just get the Police to move him out. I must admit I was worried about any repercussions but they have assured me there wont be, I am also going to arrange with the Police to come and sit with me when I tell him AGAIN I want him to leave as they have advised me to and give them enough notice to arrange for an Officer to be present.
My mind is at ease now and I certainly feel better about things.
I am going to inform my family tomorrow and they will be relieved I am sure.
Once again thanks and if anyone needs any help on the B/R forum give me a nudge;)

Sugar x

Nice to see some positive news about the police! All the best

sugarbabe-47

Hi Gwhiz

Thank you - I have never really personally had any negativity about the Police, but I do sometimes wonder about my own naivity. May be an age thing