real life MMD: Should I keep dating for freebies?

4810510

Tulgey_Wood wrote: »

I know this used to go on in my granny's day when women couldn't pay their own way.
Now I can't see the difference between this and being a paid escort.

I think with a paid escort he would get something for his money ... honesty (and hopefully some 'extras').

ann1111

where is your self respect, of course you must come clean and do it soon.

jenniewb

Shocked at how obvious this one is!

No you should NOT keep dating him for the freebies! Thats so wrong words cannot describe! Its not fair to mess with someones feelings like that and a betrayal. Could cost him his trust and that is priceless.

If your so het up on the freebies you need to really rethink your life and who you are- if money and freebies matter more to you then someone elses feelings then you need to get your head sorted, big time!

Your only option as far as I can see, is to come clean, say its not working but that your enjoying being wined and dined and that if he ever needs a mate to go places with to give you a call as you enjoy having a good time and going out- but as friends (and make that very clear).

Then set your eyes on a better job or lottery ticket.

heth

It isn't clear whether you really are only in it for the money, or if you're just feeling guilty because he likes you more than you like him.

If you carry on seeing him you should give something back - if you can't afford to go dutch at the places he takes you for dinner, next time you should treat him to dinner somewhere you can afford.

cloudwalker_3

I totally agree with curriej99 on this one. I've never understood why some women find it acceptable to basically use their allure to get free stuff. Having said this, there are more than a few men out there who feel that that acting dishonestly is okay too so I guess there's people from both gender who act like jerks.

Look, you know the answer to this one if you're honest with yourself; what you're doing is clearly wrong. Giving someone the idea that it may be going somewhere to get nice meals out is pretty crap and fundamentally selfish.

If you want to be friends only then tell him.

Doing bad stuff to people will always come back on you sooner or later. Be good to others and others will be good to you; exploit and manipulate others and they will do the same to you - it's karma and there's no escape.

Hels50

He's footing the bill in exchange for your time and company, is there anything so wrong with that? Presumably you enjoy his company enough to want to spend an evening with him, otherwise you are paying a high price yourself in exchanging your time for a meal. If he wants sex, perhaps he should go to an escort agency instead.

Gareth_Lazelle

If he was stringing her along for sex then I would guess that most of you would consider it wrong (and taking advantage of her),

So how is this significantly different?

In both cases you are prolonging the relationship under false pretences to get what you want,

Ebenezer_Screwj

Of course he is "really sweet" if he is funding your expensive restaurant life style. He is also really stupid if the relationship is going nowhere. You are freeloading, pay your share or leave him alone to find a proper girlfriend.

JoannaS_3

I can't actually belive this has been chosen for our dilemma of the week! How is this a dilemma?! Obviously not many to pick from this week!

Anyway, stop being a user and let him down gently, women who do what you're doing give the rest of us a bad name! I've never expected a man to pay for ANYTHING for me, if I want it I pay, simple! How degrading to rely on someone else to buy you things, especially if you don't really even like/fancy them?!

Poor bloke, let him move on to someone who actually likes him and won't just be seeing him to go to a nice restaurant!!

:T

awehla

You should tell him the truth. I assume when you say it's not going anywhere you don't fancy him in which case why continue dating him? You could then put your energies into being able to afford your own nice meals out with your friends or a man you really like.