real life MMD: Should I keep dating for freebies?

pennypinchUK

Ask yourself if there's any difference between what you're doing and prostituting yourself? Answer that, and you've answered your own question.

Aldahbra

I'm going to go against the flow here.

When I met my other half he obviously fell head over heels for me and I just didn't feel that about him. I enjoyed his company but more as a friend. However, I did continue to see him, but I did feel some of the feelings you have described. I decided that I was enjoying the moment and continued to go on dates with him. Very much to my surprise, what grew between us was a very deep and lasting love. Not instant passion, but more of a sole-mate. I guess I learned to love him; he was certainly not what I had previously considered to be my type, he didn’t instantly have that “pizzaz”, however, what came later was far better.

We have now been married for 16 years and I have known him for 20. If I had let misguided scruples stop me from seeing him those first couple of years, we would have both missed out on so much. You have to give it time to see what is under the surface, instant gratification isn't everything.

My advice to you, which is what I decided to do all those years ago, is to have a conversation with him, very carefully worded, explaining that at the moment you are not ready to settle down/commit to the future; for now, you are enjoying his company/sex/dates whatever, but you can't guarantee that it will eventually lead anywhere. But you never know…

How he reacts may well make your decision for you.

jamespir

i think thats well mean so i say no finish with him and stop stringing him along

mummyfrugal

I think you need to be honest to him, and also to yourself. I mean that in a nice way.

I was very lonely when I got divorced and went on a quite a few dates, but you have to be honest with them and if they are not the man you are looking for you must let them know in a respectful/nice way. If you let dates drag on and on it gets harder to let them down nicely without any bitterness.

Also you need to be careful as all men are different and some men may expect more than just a kiss, the more dates you go on. If he is really nice you just might break his heart, would you really want to do that? Some people fall in love easily and its cruel to let that grow.

Im now with a man that I just love to bits. I met him in a cafe for a cup of tea to see how it went...... 3 years later here we are and we love each other very much. I'm the happiest I've ever been.

Dont waste your and his time and let lonelyness take you to the wrong paths in life..... you both deserve to meet the right person xx

svingallthetime

that is why I have been taking you to nice places...

iammum

Ithink you should just show him what you have posted and let him decide

hayleythedaisy

If a guy didn't like you that much but had great s$x with you would it be acceptable for him to continue seeing you?

I think it's pretty obvious really, sure it might be nice to go out and he might be quite happy just to enjoy your company but at least give him the choice!!!

Midman

Hi,
I would suggest that you tell the poor fella about your feelings, otherwise you may get a reputation as a !!!!!!!!!!. As it is at best without the meal, you are just leading him on, and it is always best to be honest. He will be hurt, but he will also appreciate you telling him up front that although you like him, from your point of view the relationship is not going anywhere. You can tell him gently and assure him he has not done anything to put you off, etc.
Hope that helps.
Mm

Gavin83

Aldahbra wrote: »

I'm going to go against the flow here.

When I met my other half he obviously fell head over heels for me and I just didn't feel that about him. I enjoyed his company but more as a friend. However, I did continue to see him, but I did feel some of the feelings you have described. I decided that I was enjoying the moment and continued to go on dates with him. Very much to my surprise, what grew between us was a very deep and lasting love. Not instant passion, but more of a sole-mate. I guess I learned to love him; he was certainly not what I had previously considered to be my type, he didn’t instantly have that “pizzaz”, however, what came later was far better.

We have now been married for 16 years and I have known him for 20. If I had let misguided scruples stop me from seeing him those first couple of years, we would have both missed out on so much. You have to give it time to see what is under the surface, instant gratification isn't everything.

My advice to you, which is what I decided to do all those years ago, is to have a conversation with him, very carefully worded, explaining that at the moment you are not ready to settle down/commit to the future; for now, you are enjoying his company/sex/dates whatever, but you can't guarantee that it will eventually lead anywhere. But you never know…

How he reacts may well make your decision for you.

I think thats fair enough and I can see your point but she should at least offer to foot half the bill or even pay for him some time. Otherwise it's just leading him on regardless of if any feelings happen to come from it all.

Rocket32_2

You should know what they call people who do it for money!