Charging rent for 21 year old

Pollycat

piano_tuna wrote: »

You wouldn't receive maintenance for a 19 year-old, and it's not your older son's fault you don't get maintenance for the 16 year old, so I don't think he should be charged more on that basis.

What does it actually cost to have him living there? I'd just charge him that.
And try and encourage him to save. Presumably he doesn't want to be living with his mum for the rest of his life

You've replied to the OP's first post which was posted a year ago.
Her son doesn't live with her anymore - see update post below:

janb5 wrote: »

I started this thread in 2006 and just thought you might like to know an update. My son lives with his partner and his two children and I am very proud on how he looks after them all especially as my grandson is severely disabled.

A lot of mixed opinions on this thread. I do think adult children should contribute to the household costs not to make their parents money but to be aware of the escalating costs of maintaining a home.

Perhaps this post should be closed now Mods and someone can open a new one!

seashore22 wrote: »

Could you start a thread of your own about this.

You run the risk of posters answering a very old thread and not getting the advice you need.

As has happened.

Maybe smsfad could start a new thread.

Tabbytabitha

seashore22 wrote: »

Could you start a thread of your own about this.

You run the risk of posters answering a very old thread and not getting the advice you need.

silvercar wrote: »

I couldn't take money off my children, unless I needed it.

I'd feel ashamed if I'd brought people into this world who weren't prepared to pay their own way as equal, adult, members of the household.

I don't mean kids in their late teens just starting work or even people who are starting their first job after university but working adults in their early twenties and upwards. In that case I'd know I'd failed as a parent.

Pollycat

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

I'd feel ashamed if I'd brought people into this world who weren't prepared to pay their own way as equal, adult, members of the household.

I don't mean kids in their late teens just starting work or even people who are starting their first job after university but working adults in their early twenties and upwards. In that case I'd know I'd failed as a parent.

Just curious why you quoted the post by seashore 22.....

just_trying

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

I'd feel ashamed if I'd brought people into this world who weren't prepared to pay their own way as equal, adult, members of the household.

I don't mean kids in their late teens just starting work or even people who are starting their first job after university but working adults in their early twenties and upwards. In that case I'd know I'd failed as a parent.

Curious, so when would you charge a teen, someone who left university.

My son has worked since 16, his choice to leave school, now nearly 19, he's always contributed £50 a week except 2 short spells not working and not claiming benefits either. He earns now over £1700 a month (after tax etc) where we live you couldn't get anything even a room for that.

My daughter is at college and works and she pays less. People talk of taking advantage, making a profit from your children, what nonsense, the majority of parents are only charging what's fair. What they pay to a landlord, is fair but giving there parents something (always less normally) almost sometimes here seems like a crime, charging your own children...I would never do that .

Maybe teaching them things cost money, helping them budget and hoping they don't end up in debt, as so many are. When your a adult you have responsibilities, adult children need to learn to. Not just expect everything for free. What I charge my children includes everything, food, drink related they want, washing etc.

Spendless

just_trying wrote: »

Curious, so when would you charge a teen, someone who left university.

My son has worked since 16, his choice to leave school, now nearly 19, he's always contributed £50 a week except 2 short spells not working and not claiming benefits either. He earns now over £1700 a month (after tax etc) where we live you couldn't get anything even a room for that.

My daughter is at college and works and she pays less. People talk of taking advantage, making a profit from your children, what nonsense, the majority of parents are only charging what's fair. What they pay to a landlord, is fair but giving there parents something (always less normally) almost sometimes here seems like a crime, charging your own children...I would never do that .

Maybe teaching them things cost money, helping them budget and hoping they don't end up in debt, as so many are. When your a adult you have responsibilities, adult children need to learn to. Not just expect everything for free. What I charge my children includes everything, food, drink related they want, washing etc.

Out of curiosity because you've put your daughter is at college, rather than University. Does that mean she's at an FE college doing something like BTEC or A levels etc? If so, are you still receiving child benefit or tax credits for her? Or do you mean she's at college at a higher level/older age? Just wondering if parents defined when they asked children for a contribution depending on what level of education they were doing.

Tabbytabitha

just_trying wrote: »

Curious, so when would you charge a teen, someone who left university.

My son has worked since 16, his choice to leave school, now nearly 19, he's always contributed £50 a week except 2 short spells not working and not claiming benefits either. He earns now over £1700 a month (after tax etc) where we live you couldn't get anything even a room for that.

My daughter is at college and works and she pays less. People talk of taking advantage, making a profit from your children, what nonsense, the majority of parents are only charging what's fair. What they pay to a landlord, is fair but giving there parents something (always less normally) almost sometimes here seems like a crime, charging your own children...I would never do that .

Maybe teaching them things cost money, helping them budget and hoping they don't end up in debt, as so many are. When your a adult you have responsibilities, adult children need to learn to. Not just expect everything for free. What I charge my children includes everything, food, drink related they want, washing etc.

You've misunderstood me, I think all working "children" should pay something for their keep unless they're still in non advanced education. What I meant was that, when they're just starting out, that contribution may be only nominal or just cover their additional costs but when established they should be fully paying their way just like any other adult living in the household.

I completely agree with you about parents who think this is exploiting their children - good parenting is about producing responsible, independent adults not grown up teenagers for whom their parents are responsible until they die.

just_trying

Spendless wrote: »

Out of curiosity because you've put your daughter is at college, rather than University. Does that mean she's at an FE college doing something like BTEC or A levels etc? If so, are you still receiving child benefit or tax credits for her? Or do you mean she's at college at a higher level/older age? Just wondering if parents defined when they asked children for a contribution depending on what level of education they were doing.

She is doing a hnd, so no I don't get child benefit. She works also.

She's a adult, if you're receiving benefits for them and there at home that's different. It's like most adults, they need to pay to live, whether that's at home or living independently elsewhere. Things cost money.

Spendless

just_trying wrote: »

She is doing a hnd, so no I don't get child benefit. She works also.

She's a adult, if you're receiving benefits for them and there at home that's different. It's like most adults, they need to pay to live, whether that's at home or living independently elsewhere. Things cost money.

I think that situation comes into shades of grey. As a student she'll have been eligible for student finance and unless she's proved she's been independant of you for the past few years, her maintenance loan will have been based on the household income (ie your salary) of where she lives. If she hasn't qualified for the full amount it will be because there is the 'expectation' (though there's no legal obligation) that parents will fund the difference.

For some students living at home the parents can fund that by not charging because if said child was living away then they might have financially contributed. If child gets the full funding then the parent is not 'expected' to financially contribute, then yes they would have to pay a landlord and in that case parents may feel that child should be paying.

silvercar

If child gets the full funding then the parent is not 'expected' to financially contribute, then yes they would have to pay a landlord and in that case parents may feel that child should be paying.

Full funding is lower for someone living at home, than the same funding would be for the same circumstances for someone living away, reflecting that it should be cheaper to live at home.

Spendless

silvercar wrote: »

Full funding is lower for someone living at home, than the same funding would be for the same circumstances for someone living away, reflecting that it should be cheaper to live at home.

Ahh yes, good point. Then that assumes living at Mum and Dads should be cheaper than taking a room/lodgings anywhere else.