Charging rent for 21 year old

Oldernotwiser

kassikoo wrote: »

why he called me a !!!!! lol! ahh bless him,

I really wish that I could think that you were making that comment ironically!

What makes you think he couldn't be doing drugs in your house? He seems to be getting through a great deal of money for someone who doesn't go out much.

I feel so sorry for you but you really need to take off your rose coloured specs!

Savvy_Sue

kass, gang up on him with his girlfriend ... she won't want to stay with him if he carries on like this! At least I hope she wouldn't ...

vicky_kidder

When I finish university in july i will be earning 1300 a month before tax and I will be paying parents £200 per month. This is because I have my own car which i tax, insure and run and paid for myself. But mainly as I am intending to move in with my boyfriend next year and parents are charging me lower than they would normally so I can save every penny for a house deposit!

Before I was saving for a deposit I was paying 25% of whatever I took home (was different every month), and I think this is a fair amount to take from your children. I think also a percentage is fairer as (especially if they are studying) they will not feel pressured to have to bring in a certain amount every week/month to accomodate for rent as well as other costs, like car etc.

beer_tins

Find out what a room in a house share in your area would cost him, including bills. Then charge him maybe two thirds of that. He has to live by your rules at the moment, so if he had to pay the "going rate" of a house share, he may well decide to move out instead and have the extra freedom. At the same time he has to learn about the cost of living, or he'll be in for a big shock when he has to move out. If you don't need all of the extra money, put it in savings without telling him, as others have suggested. He can then use it towards a house deposit or something else when he needs it.

Mojisola

beinerts wrote: »

He has to live by your rules at the moment

I agree with all beinerts' post but just to emphasise this - it's not so much that he has to live by your rules, he just has to show you some respect. If he tried behaving like this when sharing a flat, his flatmates would soon put him right or throw him out.

Savvy_Sue

I agree, but I think that at 21 there has to be some element of joint discussion about what 'the rules' are - and an adult discussion about why they're there.

For example, one reason why my parents didn't like me coming home late when I was that age, was that however quietly I tried to sneak in, the bl**dy dogs would wake up and bark the house down. Common courtesy indicates that you DON'T wake everyone up when you come through the front door, but the only way I could get round that was to come home before everyone was asleep!

However, common courtesy also indicates that you leave things as you'd like to find them ... and you speak to people as you'd like to be spoken to!

Smileysunflower

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I really wish that I could think that you were making that comment ironically!

What makes you think he couldn't be doing drugs in your house? He seems to be getting through a great deal of money for someone who doesn't go out much.

I feel so sorry for you but you really need to take off your rose coloured specs!

Yes we all think our kids won't do that but unfortunately my (nicely brought up son) did, along with behaviour changes. He is a student and now talking about moving out and living with a friend in a shared let. I have told him to go and do it if he feels capable of supporting himself (and I am letting find out - for himself for once - how he can do that). Then he will see he has had it cushy and it's a hard life out there. :rolleyes:

Chrysalis

My parents used to charge me £30 a week board when I had earnings of about £150 after tax for that they brought the food, paid the bills, I had my washing done for me and my food cooked for me. I know now was a deal I will never get again in my life. But of course back then I didnt know what the world was like outside my parents house and I felt poorly treated, mainly because both my sisters didnt have to pay board. I didnt actually pay it most weeks but brought my mum cigarettes and gave her a fiver whenever she needed money for something she was happy enough.

I have to say you need to come down hard on him and your husband needs to back you up, some ideas of the top of my head.

Tell him he has 4 weeks to move out and then start showing some properties you found for rent, make sure you show him the moving in costs (will likely include admin fees, credit checks, months rent up front, security bond). Show him clearly the rent which will blow away what he is paying you, point out he will be solely responsible for all bills like council tax electricity etc. and will need a tv licence, and in all probability whilst he earns enough to live on his own he will have nowhere near as much cash as he does now. If he improves and realises he has a good thing you can then consider letting him stay otherwise go ahead with kicking him out. It needs to be made clear he can have a messy kitchen if he is the one paying the rent/mortgage but whilst he is under your roof he follows your house rules.

Other severe things would be charging him for electricity, phone etc. seperate and making him pay a share of bills on top of what he pays now.

1sue23

My son age 21 comes out with £900 and gives me £130 per month which to me is fair as he is also saving £350 a month towards a house of his own ,If he was wasting money then I would charge more .
He does his own washing and ironing and also helps around the house and treats us to a takeaway once a month so I have no complaints .

kimlisa66

Im having a real battle getting money out of my eldest, although I appreciate he doesn't live with me full time.

He is a soldier, well training to be a combat engineer in The Royal Engineers and comes come Friday afteroon and returns Sunday evenings. In that time he clears the fridge out and i do all his washing. He uses my internet, electric, tv, etc etc and he will not pay a penny. I don''t expect much, but a token £10 would do. He clears over £1000 per month which is mainly spent on his car loan, mobile bill and remaining 800 per month is spending (drink) money.

The other son, 18 this year has a part time job working with my brother, his wages are variable, (60 to £150 pweek depending on how many days worked) and I charge him £20 per week which I think is a very fair deal too.

BTW I am also a single parent with a 10 yrd old little girl as well, their dad walked out last october after having a fling with his best mate's wife. He is still paying the mortgage, more out of guilt than anything but I pay for absolutely everything else from my part time earnings of 13k a yr plus tax credits and child maintainence of £80 per week that he pays.

Am I being too soft ?

Kim