MSE Pregnancy Club 20

LabLover

Do you know what the bizarre thing is (with reference to worrying) Before I got pregnant my biggest fear and reason for not wanting children was child birth. Now that im pregnant I have a new worry or fear everyday and child birth is the least of my concerns.If that makes sense
LL XX

gratefulforhelp_2

dustystar02 wrote: »

Ok, here are my 3 main worries. This is this month's list. I'm sure you will all reassure me and I will find something else to worry about next month .

Course you will, and so will we...

1) I'm convinced the baby will have a facial birthmark. OH has one on the back of his head, hidden by his hair and i saw a man in the pub on saturday night with one all across the left hand side of his face which proved to me they do happen.

DD1 had one of these in a less obvious place, but biggish. It faded and has totally disappeared now, they often do.

2) I'm scared that baby won't be healthy and will have some muscle wasting illness. I saw a news item the other day about a 14 year old boy with a syndrome I cannot even remember the name of but apparently it isn't tested for in pregnancy. Now I'm sure baby will have this or something else that they cannot test for.

Its possible, but statistically really unlikely. Do you want to ruin the next few months over something with a 0.001% probability?

If baby has either of the above I'm scared I won't love it and will be embarrassed of people staring (I'm very ashamed of feeling like this so please don't hate me )

We all have those worries and those of us who don't are fibbing.

3) I'm also terrified that I will raise a monster - in the literal sense, I'm scared that our child will become a murderer or rapist or worse

You won't if you're not cruel or neglectful, and you won't be.

There's lots of other things, how this will affect mine and OH's relationship, money worries, the affect this baby will have on my life. I'm not going into this lightly. I know my life will change dramatically but I'm scared that I'll start resenting not being able to go out at the drop of a hat or book holidays etc and that I will start resenting the baby. This was all considered before we started trying but now it's actually happening. .

This is really healthy, the people who worry me most are the ones who think they will carry on exactly as before, with no changes. They're way off !

I'm obviously a serious worry wart who looks for the absolutly worse in everything but I am just hoping these fears will ease with time as I feel they are stopping me from loving and bonding with my unborn child.

Dear god i have totally laid bare my soul here - please don't think bad of me.

None of this will stop you worrying if you want to, but maybe limit yourself to half an hour a day on it?

Lots of love and hugs.

iceicebaby

dustystar02 wrote: »

Thanks DM and Ice. I know these fears are what everyone has but I look at my circle of friends and all their happy healthy children and think surely we won't all be as lucky and why won't the uinlucky one be me?
I know it doesn't work like that but as this is my first I am sitting on every worry imagineable.

I just hope they will all falll away once my happy healthy baby is here

This is my first too, come and join me in the worried first time mum corner! :beer: minus the alcohol!

I'm scared stiff not of the childbirth or labour, but of the afterwards bit, when I'm at home with this little person dependant just on me, and how everything is going to be so different. Freaks me out at times but I try not to think about it.

ema_o

Lovely scan . Thought it would just be cervix (dildo scanner) but I got there and the monographer said "right, let's take a look at the baby first". Can't get over how big he is now, plus it's nice to know the position he's in, and now I know the kicks in the ribs are actually kicks

Teenie, hugs Hun. Definitely talk to someone about how you're feeling and see the Docs if it carries on.

Dusty, I think you should be banned from watching the news! I tend to avoid is as when I watch I tend to have worries about what I see on there. I know what you mean worrying about baby either having something wrong with them, or worries about how we raise them.
I reckon we'll give birth on the same day too, hope so as I would rather be slightly early

Just back home and heating is still not working . Have a tiny fan heater on now, when oh gets in he'll be up a ladder trying to defrost it

Used to love winter but am just fed up with the cold now!

Nic, bless your neighbours they sound lvely. I bet they were very pleased with the homemade tablet (not quite sure what this is, is it a type of cake?). I definitely wouldn't get them anything else, but would go round with your little uns to say thanks in person once they've opened them.

LabLover

Tablet is scottish fudge like stuff

ema_o

Mmmm anyone want to send me' some (or a recipe!)

Laughing at monographer, stupid auto spelling on phone!

Oh and can I join the worried first time mum club as well (suspect I may be a firm member already!)

Charlie1978

dustystar02 wrote: »

Ok, here are my 3 main worries. This is this month's list. I'm sure you will all reassure me and I will find something else to worry about next month .

1) I'm convinced the baby will have a facial birthmark. OH has one on the back of his head, hidden by his hair and i saw a man in the pub on saturday night with one all across the left hand side of his face which proved to me they do happen.

2) I'm scared that baby won't be healthy and will have some muscle wasting illness. I saw a news item the other day about a 14 year old boy with a syndrome I cannot even remember the name of but apparently it isn't tested for in pregnancy. Now I'm sure baby will have this or something else that they cannot test for.

If baby has either of the above I'm scared I won't love it and will be embarrassed of people staring (I'm very ashamed of feeling like this so please don't hate me )

3) I'm also terrified that I will raise a monster - in the literal sense, I'm scared that our child will become a murderer or rapist or worse

There's lots of other things, how this will affect mine and OH's relationship, money worries, the affect this baby will have on my life. I'm not going into this lightly. I know my life will change dramatically but I'm scared that I'll start resenting not being able to go out at the drop of a hat or book holidays etc and that I will start resenting the baby. This was all considered before we started trying but now it's actually happening. .

I'm obviously a serious worry wart who looks for the absolutly worse in everything but I am just hoping these fears will ease with time as I feel they are stopping me from loving and bonding with my unborn child.

Dear god i have totally laid bare my soul here - please don't think bad of me.

Dusty I swear I could kick you up the backside!

You have your miracle! Your little bean there inside you growing away and already knowing you are mummy and loving you already. Think of those that haven't managed to successfully do this and reach your stage yet?!

Yes you are irrational and over reacting and you know what?

Welcome to the world of pregnancy!

You're supposed to realise that it's irrational and hormonal and smack yourself about the head for being so silly. Not leave it to someone like me who reads your post and thinks 'she needs a kick up the bum but I really don't want to offend her cos I think she's lovely'

So... without meaning offence, because I think you are absolutely lovely. From what I read and your worries alone I can tell you are going to be a fantastic mother. There isn't a lady here that could disagree with that. You need to:

- Enjoy the fact that you're pregnant and with child - Yes, this child is going to change your life dramatically. But you know what? You'll never EVER regret it. From the moment you first look into your child's eyes you will see a love like no other you have ever felt. So stop it! You are truly blessed! *smack number 1*

- We ALL worry about something being wrong with baby. But did you consider that by worrying all the time you might create something wrong with the baby? Stress is NOT good for bubs. Don't put yourself or your baby through that. Take a chill pill and chillax. Everything you have been told leads to positive thoughts. Why are you being negative? *smack number 2*

- A birth mark? Seriously? Your child will be BEAUTIFUL. No matter what. In your biased and loving eyes any child you have will be. And you know what? That's all that matters. You and your hubby will love your child no matter what. This applies to smack number 2 point too! Anyhow *smack number 3*

- A rapist/molester - I'm, sorry but you really are going WAY out with that one! Your child will be raised in a loving environment. Secure in the knowledge that his/her family will love them no matter what. I know you will provide the stability and love that a child needs to become a fully functioning/adorable/loving/nurturing child/adult who will be blessed to have you as a mother and will funnily enough - be quite normal! *smack number 4*

I hope I haven't smacked you too much but enough for you to see sense. Why can't you see what we all see? A loving mother to be worried about her child unnecessarily? You will be a FANTASTIC mother and your child will be lucky to have you.

Please, please I implore you - ENJOY this time. Enjoy planning and feeling every kick and movement. It goes way too quickly and before you know it you'll be losing sleep and the days will fly by and your child will be 1 before you know it. Your child will be adorable and healthy and perfectly lovely. And it has you and your hubby to thank for that.

You have been given a gift. Enjoy it.

xx

hngrymummy

Dusty, I was born with a birthmark on my forehead. It wasn't huge, and faded by the time I was 13 so that only people who know it's there can spot it. If I'm really tired or stressed, or very cross it's a little bit visible. In a strange kind of way I miss it as it was always there in the mirror when I was younger.

As for me, I'm scared of having an ugly baby.

Metranil_Vavin

I'm firmly in the 'worrying about everything' camp too!

I worry about how our lives will change and how I wont be able to just do what I want to do when I want to do it...and I'm not good on little or no sleep...BUT...I know that if someone was to wave a wand tomorrow and my bump was gone, I'd be beyond consolable, and actually rather than looking on it as losing my current lifestyle, I'm looking on it as an exciting new chapter.

And you can of course still have a life...it just needs a iittle more planning is all!

And as my mum said to me, do you really want to be 40, 50 and onwards doing the same things you are doing now?
:rotfl:

digitalphase

Dusty, I totally understand your fears. I keep worrying that bubs will have something wrong with him as well

Teenie and EA - I also have been referred due to depression. As I don't want to take tablets they have referred me for therapy, and I think I start it on 4th January. Got in reasonably quick as I'm pregnant, which is good. I absolutely hate the mixed emotions this pregnancy is giving me. It makes me feel lonely, insecure, unstable etc which I am never normally. In fact normally I love my own company, and will crave it when bubs is here, but now I hate being on my own for too long. I suffer such tiredness and this worsens my feelings. It's hard to explain as I don't understand it myself, but it can be very difficult just getting ready for work in the morning. Keeping busy helps though. It's stupid as I have so much to look forward to with a much wanted baby. Can't help the way I feel though