MSE Pregnancy Club 20

Charlie1978

Cutterby wrote: »

Afternoon ladies, just a quick check in, haven't read back but hope everyone's ok??


Having a crappy day so far, my mum (horrendously long story, short version is she's the kind of person who should never have been allowed to have children and we haven't spoken in over two years) has told [STRIKE]everyone [/STRIKE] lots of people in our area that I'm pregnant, along with the comment "well I don't see why she's having another" - and it's really really upset me. I haven't told her I'm pregnant, obviously, but I put the scan pic as my profile pic on FB so she's obviously seen it, but it's not her place to tell anyone - especially not MY friends who I'd not told purely cos I'd not seen them - and how dare she make that comment?! Apparently she said something else too, but my friend wouldn't tell me what is was cos she said it was "too bad" - so now I'm thinking the worst, and I can well imagine what has been said, and that's upsetting me too. Hubs thinks I'm being daft, letting her get to me, and I know I am really, and it was my choice to not speak to her anymore, but I just expected everyone to be pleased for us - it's a bloody shock to find out they're not - especially your own mother! Then again, dunno why I expected any different really, I know full well what she's like... Anyone got a spare Mum???


Anyway, I've rambled on too much, and for longer than I should, got an engineer coming at some point between 1 and 3 to sort the oven, bet he'll get here at 3.20(!)


Hugs xxxxx

You can borrow my mum hun. She's absolutely useless round the house. My step dad does everything. But she's always there when you need her and loves me and the kids more than anything and spoils my kids rotten. We all deserve a mum like that. I'm sorry you don't have that.

You know what i'd do? I'd just make a big post on FB along the lines of:

For all those close to us, you now we're having a much wanted and will be much loved baby. For a small few of you we didn't get around to telling you and we're sorry that you had to hear the news elsewhere. For one or two of you we didn't tell you because quite frankly you're really not that important to us. We have our family. It is being extended and we are thrilled. If you can't be thrilled for us then we would appreciate you at least to keep the comments to yourself! Many thanks to those that have been supportive and continue to be happy for us and our bundle of joy. x

Then... sod her!

wendz86

Hello all,

Hope you are all feeling good today.

I am finding out the sex of baby tonight so am soo excited!

gratefulforhelp_2

Make-it-3 wrote: »

Morning ladies, rather peed off with OH today. As some of you who have been on this thread a while know, a couple of months ago he was made redundant, a big worry at time with me not working either. Fortunately he was offered a new job fairly quickly, but it has been bundled up in red tape ever since and he's been waiting for a start date. He's now found out that there's no budget for his position till 2011, so they want him to start first week of January, just before I'm due !! Obviously he won't qualify for paternity leave and I doubt they will let him take any time off at a moments notice, just after starting the job.

He doesn't want to even ask at the moment, as he's too scared of rocking the boat and losing the job completely. But where does that leave me? What if they don't even allow him time off to be at the birth, let alone any extra days? Its such bad timing, we will manage with him being at home for a couple of months and no income, and it would have been great if the time had coincided with my EDD but I can't make the baby come earlier just to fit in with everything.

Hugs. Don't be peed off with your man, he's trying to provide for his family. Mine would do the same and it would annoy me too!

Teenie_D wrote: »

Sammy I would second Lasinoh for your nips.

That was it I meant to ask you if you had some.

Teenie hoping you feel better soon.

Teenie_D

Aw Cutterby that's awful:( I know she's your Mum but I seriously would think about removing her as a friend on FB. It's easy for your DH to say you shouln't let her get to you but anyone would be upset if their Mum carried on like this. ((hugs))

Cutterby

Charlie1978 wrote: »

You can borrow my mum hun. She's absolutely useless round the house. My step dad does everything. But she's always there when you need her and loves me and the kids more than anything and spoils my kids rotten. We all deserve a mum like that. I'm sorry you don't have that.

You know what i'd do? I'd just make a big post on FB along the lines of:

For all those close to us, you now we're having a much wanted and will be much loved baby. For a small few of you we didn't get around to telling you and we're sorry that you had to hear the news elsewhere. For one or two of you we didn't tell you because quite frankly you're really not that important to us. We have our family. It is being extended and we are thrilled. If you can't be thrilled for us then we would appreciate you at least to keep the comments to yourself! Many thanks to those that have been supportive and continue to be happy for us and our bundle of joy. x

Then... sod her!

Thanks Charlie Maybe I could have weekend Mum access? :rotfl:



That is perfect, I'll stick that on later, have put something on now that's along the lines of "don't have to explain myself, if you don't like it, sod off" I've had a feeling for a while now that someone on my friends list has been telling her stuff off my profile (cos of things she's said to people that she shouldn't know) put it down to paranoia, but seems I might be right so I think a few people will be being deleted... You know what annoys me the most? Even though I hate her, I still want a Mum, and if she only said sorry for all the rubbish she's put me through, I'd probably forgive her and let her back in... Knowing full well that she'll never change Took me years to get up the confidence to just stop speaking to her and drives me mad that I still don't know any better after every time she let me down in the past! Someone should set up a 'find a family' website Actually, that sounds too much like a dating website and I'm sure there'd be the 'wrong kinds of people' ... I should be happy with what and who I've got


If anyone does find a spare Mum though, I'd be happy to help Just so long as it's not the one who brought me into the world!! :rotfl:

xxx

Cutterby

Teenie_D wrote: »

Aw Cutterby that's awful:( I know she's your Mum but I seriously would think about removing her as a friend on FB. It's easy for your DH to say you shouln't let her get to you but anyone would be upset if their Mum carried on like this. ((hugs))

Hey Teenie Oh, she's not on my friends list, in fact I blocked her a few weeks ago, but up til recently we had a few mutual friends, now we only have one and I'm not sure how much she can be trusted, so think it's probably best to just delete everyone I'm not 100% sure about.


Thanks for the hugs, they're hugely appreciated today... xxx

Charlie1978

Awww hun. We all want a mum at some point in our lives. Anything goes wrong in mine and I go running to mummy lol and i'm 32!

I think sometimes you just have to cut your losses. Chuck the rubbish out of your life and just start enjoying it for you. I can't imagine what this old hag has put you through but she's taught you a valuable lesson in what NOT to be as a parent. I'm sure her mistakes make you a fantastic mother

Just remember, the old dear will end up sad and alone and you'll be the one surrounded by loving family and wonderful children at Christmas!!!

Hugs xx

Make-it-3

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

Hugs. Don't be peed off with your man, he's trying to provide for his family. Mine would do the same and it would annoy me too!
[/COLOR]

I know, its just this company have already messed him about and it makes me feel nervous not knowing if it is going to be able to be around for the birth.

Cutterby, I'm sorry things are so strained with your mum, why don't you sever the facebook link too if it upset you to have her commenting about your postings?

Teenie_D

Cutterby wrote: »

Hey Teenie Oh, she's not on my friends list, in fact I blocked her a few weeks ago, but up til recently we had a few mutual friends, now we only have one and I'm not sure how much she can be trusted, so think it's probably best to just delete everyone I'm not 100% sure about.


Thanks for the hugs, they're hugely appreciated today... xxx

Ah I see. If you don't want her to pass things on to your Mum then maybe that's the best thing to do.

Your Mum has maybe mentioned the things about you having another baby because she knows she has failed as a mother and knows you wont do the same. Instead of acknowledging her failings she is having a dig. Poor you.:(

And you're more than welcome for the hug, any time in fact c'mon everyone join in for those who need them or not :grouphug: let's have a dodgy group hug LOL!

ticklepenny_2

Cutterby ((Hugs)) no mother should talk about her children like that but unfortunately some mothers arent proper mums.
My OH has only started speaking to his mum since we've been together he stopped talking to her when he was 18, he started talking to her at 34 and over the last 4 years she has done both of our heads in...but she means well. (she cant cook, has ocd, and is generally mental). But then I suppose MILs are supposed to be naff. My mum on the other hand cant cook, isnt huggy and is prone to bouts of depression. I love her but am not close.

I suppose what I am trying to say in a pg rambly way is that we dont choose our parents but we can choose to be better parents. OH and I are planning on moving away from the area in the next few years and at that point will cut back on the contact with MIL (she will ring upto 6 times a day!!).

I would cut contact and just concerntrate on your family, but it will always be hard to deal with when she insists on re affirming this decision with nasty comments.

SO lots of hugs and cake and hot chocolate on this cold horrible day.