Immoral_angel's Debt Diary

moonlightpjs

Oh IA
You will have good days and you will have bad days. You will feel up at sometimes and down at other times. Things will make you laugh and then the same thing will make you cry. PND doesn't alway affect you every waking moment - its like been on a Merry-Go-Round, you get on and off, go up and down. No two days will be the same and IMHO I don't think the GP would have given you AD's unless he really thought you needed them, they know all the signs and as you've been totally honest with them, they would know the true extent of it. GP's are very reluctant to just hand out AD's when not really needed so they obviously thought that you did need them.

Its easier said than done to snap out of it, in fact I would think it impossible and you probably won't feel a lot better until you've taken the pills for about 2 weeeks, did the GP say how long they would take to start taking effect?

Things do get on top of you - well they would with anybody with two young children - the PND just makes everything seem so much worse and kind of makes everything 100 times bigger - does that make any sense at all? Probably not!

You've got to do what you think is best as its you thats feeling this way but I , personally, wouldn't stop taking them. I also think that if it was just baby blues it would have passed by now but thats just my opionon.

Look after yourself and take each hour as it comes xxx

Snaggles

Weller, that was a lovely post, it said exactly what I wanted to say, but was struggling to find the words......

Hope everything is going well with you too xx

themaccas

Hi IA
Sometimes you can only see PND in retrospect. I felt exactly the same as you after DS2 was born, scored very high on the EDPS Health visitor test and was told I had PND and needed to see my GP for AD's. I never went and thought that I would just battle through whatever I was feeling. He turns 4 next month and I can honestly say that I have only really started to feel better in the last 6 months. I remember asking myself why we had chosen to have another baby, wishing things could go back to the way they were, failing to bond (even though I BF) resenting the constant feeding and crying, I couldn't think properly and would lose my train of thought mid-sentance, forgetting what I had been asked. I was a complete mess and should have taken AD's. Hindsight is a wonderful thing!

We're all sending you loads of love and support, hope your day out at the weekend is a great one, you ARE a wonderful mum.
hugs
x

immoral_angeluk

K was just crying so I picked her up and she's just been giving me the biggest smiles. She never normally smiles for me, just Ste and MIL. How could I have thought such horrible things of her and resented her for just being a baby??? It was so nice to get smiles from her instead of the crying I normally get!

Snaggles

Just try not to feel guilty about the feelings you are having.....they are not really your feelings, they are rogue feelings caused by a imbalance in your brain chemistry. Enjoy these times when you are feeling 'up' and K is smiling as much as you can.

And why is it that babies always smile for other people???? That always used to bug me.....it's like they know that they don't really have to bother making an effort for you. They always say 'Dada' first too. Little monkeys!

Snaggles

Arrgghhh, double post, sorry!

moonlightpjs

immoral_angeluk wrote: »

How could I have thought such horrible things of her and resented her for just being a baby??? !

Because sweetie, thats the PND - NOT YOU. Just try and remember that - its not you, you are a terrific Mum - its this horrible, horrible illness and you WILL get better. Promise xxx

immoral_angeluk

Snaggles wrote: »

Just try not to feel guilty about the feelings you are having.....they are not really your feelings, they are rogue feelings caused by a imbalance in your brain chemistry. Enjoy these times when you are feeling 'up' and K is smiling as much as you can.

And why is it that babies always smile for other people???? That always used to bug me.....it's like they know that they don't really have to bother making an effort for you. They always say 'Dada' first too. Little monkeys!

Ashli has only recently started saying mummy. She used to call me Sarah all the time!

moonlightpjs

Snaggles wrote: »

And why is it that babies always smile for other people???? That always used to bug me.....it's like they know that they don't really have to bother making an effort for you. They always say 'Dada' first too. Little monkeys!

Oh how I know this - Mollie will cry and moan all day with me but as soon as Daddy gets home shes all sweetness and light and full of giggles - not a moan in sight. I blame the Daddies :rotfl:

Snaggles

Lol, DS used to call me do-do (JoJo)! He often used to get confused and call the childminder 'Mum' too. So what kind of parent does that make me!