Acceptable contact for a non-resident father? *UPDATED POST #63*

brians_daughter

Nope, you arent going bonkers lol... I replied to your original post then realised baby had since been born and your ex was being a !!!!!...so i changed my mind lol

emsywoo123

Just thought I would update this thread for anyone that posted, or in case someone finds themselves in a silimar situation!.........

I contacted DS's father last week, and arranged for him to come here to see him.

As we stand, I have offered one hour a week 8-9 (so DD does not have to see him and deal with all that involves her her, until things become more established at least)

I decided to do this following time and space to recover from the birth, and I know that it is the right thing to do for DS.

Obviously if I suspected he had had a drink I would not let him in, but we have had one successful contact so far, and I hope they can start to build a father son relationship.

Personally, I found it incredibly difficult, having him here in back in what was "our" house, far more than I thought, but it's not about me or how I feel.

pupsicola

Congratulations on the birth of your son.

I have been in a similar situation to you. I split with my ex when my children were tiny because he was abusive (even more so when he had, had a drink).

You sons needs are important but so are your own. As a mother you instinctively know who is safe to be around your children and who is not. Dont be forced or guilt-tripped into agreeing to any contact you dont feel confidant or happy about.

I wish you well and hope that the arrival of his child will make your ex turn his life round and be a responsible dad.

sueeve

It might be a good idea to keep a diary with comment about every visit, phone call etc. You may never need it, but it could be useful as a precaution. He need not know.

summerday

Congrats on the birth of your baby. It sounds like you are being very sensible and reasonable with how you have set up the contact arrangements, trying to consider everyone's needs. Hope things continue to go smoothly, and don't let him bully you into anything, especially not with threats of going to court if he doesn't get as much contact as he wants- he would soon find out he wouldn't get very far if he took legal advice.
Take care.

emsywoo123

Thank you

Just had my horoscope delivered to my inbox:

"Although it's admirable you want to sacrifice for loved ones, there should be a limit to your compassion. Someone who is struggling with a drinking, drug, or gambling problem needs to face the consequences of their actions. No amount of begging or pleading will change their behaviour. "
:eek: :eek: :eek:

building_with_lego

Blimey!
Of course I don't believe in horoscopes but :eek:.

Congratulations on your new babe. You know in your heart what's the right thing to do for you both.

emsywoo123

building_with_lego wrote: »

Blimey!
Of course I don't believe in horoscopes but :eek:.

Congratulations on your new babe. You know in your heart what's the right thing to do for you both.

I don't massively believe in them either, seeing as last week it told me my soul mate would come to my door or something.......I didn't even get any post :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: