Sorting out my life - Part 2!

Wordsmith

Well done on the job, especially the promotion. Not bad for a rubbish interview!;)

I'm so glad you are treating it as a new beginning and are excited by it. The other things will fall into place gradually. Don't feel bad about your friend - it's not your fault, although it is lovely that you care about her that much.

Is the business one that she could go ahead with and you do part time? Although I guess the challenge of a new job might make that difficult for a while.

For now, relax over the weekend and enjoy the relief of this bit being over and you coming out well from it. Well done!

copperjar

Thanks Wordsmith

I still haven't spoken to my friend. She wants a bit of space, obviously she's upset that she didn't get one of the jobs and she's stressed out about the future. I just want to help but I guess I'm not the best person to do that right now.

Everything has been such a whirlwind and I am still positive about it (you know there's a but coming up don't you?!)...but I'm scared! New job. New area. New house. New friends. I'm having a wobble. I love my house, have just got it how I want; I love the area (although I am a bit isolated where I am, but Leeds is just 1/2hr away on the train) and I love my best friend. Arghh! I was driving home from work today and already feeling nostalgic

iwantahome

Congratulations CJ,

You have done amazing. I bet you are very proud of yourself (even if you can't show this at work).

It's very normal to feel sorry for others in this situation, but you have to also be a tiny bit selfish and put them in your situation. It is as they say a dog eat dog world at the moment with all the con-demned have done to councils etc. It is not fair at all, but you have a roof to keep over your head, all be it a new and exciting one, but still a roof. Also you have debts to clear and this job will mean you are still able to focus on that and becoming DF and able to get out and live and holiday etc etc like people should.

You had great plans about the business with your friend but would it be going ahead if your friend had gotten one of the job? It's one of life's obstacles. For whatever reason you are unable to go ahead with the business, but that is just because something else is in store for you. Your friend will I'm sure be very supportive of you (given time).

Moving away from the area you live in/ office you work in may be very daunting, but may also be the making of you. New area, new start, new life. I'm jealous (hehe). I still look over my shoulder whenever i'm out of the house in case I randomly see the ex, a new area would solve this problem instantly. New identity, new friends, new places to go.

Be selfish, it is allowed.

startagain_2

Wow, just caught up copperjar..... WELL DONE!!!!!

Ironic that it is the situation you feared, with one of you getting the job and the other not, but the other way round - in your favour. But now is the time for Number 1 and that is you.
As Wordsmith said, be positive. I personally think this could be just what you need... a fresh start, new job, new home, new friends. Very exciting. What a chance to prove yourself as if you haven't done that already with the job offer/promotion.
How far away are you moving? You will still be able to see friends at weekends, surely, and we aren't going anywhere.
Hugs
SA

copperjar

Thanks once again Its finally starting to sink in.

iwantahome wrote: »

Moving away from the area you live in/ office you work in may be very daunting, but may also be the making of you. New area, new start, new life. I'm jealous (hehe). I still look over my shoulder whenever i'm out of the house in case I randomly see the ex, a new area would solve this problem instantly. New identity, new friends, new places to go.

Be selfish, it is allowed.

Definitely! Overall I'm excited about the changes, I'm certainly glad I didn't get one of the jobs in this area. There's such high emotion flying around at the moment, I think I would have found it hard to start one of the jobs over current colleagues who were unsuccessful (including my current boss). A different area, nobody really knows me, so I can start with a clean slate.
Also, the ex still works in this area and although I haven't seen her at work for ages, I hear about her all the time because she works in the same dept. And her (not so) new lover works in the office next door to me. So I can get away from all of that. I think just having them both at the back of my mind in that I *might* bump into them at work and do get to hear about them has been dragging me down.

So yes, all in all, a move is just what I need I think!

I need to find out a bit more about the job because although I know where the office is based, the job covers a huge area - so the expectations of the role will influence where I decide to live. Might have a drive over there tomorrow to check it out!

My brother is telling me not to be bullied by Mum and Dad who have their own ideas on where it would be better to live, how soon I need to move, what sort of property etc. And at the same time, I have to not be bullied by my brother who has his ideas! I'm easily influenced but this is my time and I need to do what's best for me. My brother thinks I should go for town/city living, my parents think a house on the outskirts of town. Muchos research is needed me thinks - I do like living in a village, but I don't want to get isolated again. I just have to make sure that I'm assertive with myself when I make the decision and don't get swayed trying to please other people.

Sometimes I feel like I'm 12 and need constant validation!

Wow, so much has changed in my life since I started this diary!

jwil

Congratulations copperjar! Great stuff!

Definitely do what is right for you when you move - consider the things you like doing and look for a place that will make it easier for you to do them.

copperjar

Thanks jwil

Well its been a couple of days since I wrote on here. My mind is still racing at 100 mph and I'm trying to make sense of everything, but I'm really happy about the changes on the horizon. Obviously I have moments of complete panic, but overall I'm trying to keep a positive head. All of this has highlighted one thing to me though - a complete lack of confidence in myself and an unfortunate habit of focussing on the bad stuff rather than the good. I'm not sure where that's come from, but I need it to stop!

Work continues to be a bit weird, with many people unhappy that they didn't get posts, interviews ongoing for other posts and a further restructure which has just started being consulted on, which effects the people I currently manage. All of this makes it hard to be happy about my own achievement and although I have enough tact not to shout how happy I am from the rooftops, I've got to make sure that I don't apologise for my success either (as I have a habit of doing).

Its funny though, people's expectations. The amount of shocked "so will you be moving?" questions I've had is crazy. You'd think I'd just accepted a job in China or something - I'll be moving to the other side of the County not Country! I guess I'm able to be a bit more flexible due to lack of a partner or kids, but I've been surprised at the amount of people who seem so shocked that I would even consider moving!

MSE wise its been a slow month. Haven't made any CC payments other than the big one on payday. I've decided to cut myself a bit of slack and give myself another 2 paydays to get the Santander card cleared, rather than one. It still means it'll be gone by 1st May which is beyond what I originally ever thought possible. It means I'll be CC free when I move (I hope to save a bit of cash too for housey things) which is just fab! I phoned up for a repayment balance on my two loans today as well, one isn't too bad and I think I'll be tempted to pay it off if/when I sell my house. The other is :eek: and it looks like I'll be stuck with it for quite some time.

Gym wise, I'm semi back on track but need to go tonight.
Diet wise, I'm having a bit of a break from it
Getting a life wise, its a work in progress!
Non smoking wise, I've cracked it

iwantahome

copperjar wrote: »

Its funny though, people's expectations. The amount of shocked "so will you be moving?" questions I've had is crazy. You'd think I'd just accepted a job in China or something - I'll be moving to the other side of the County not Country! I guess I'm able to be a bit more flexible due to lack of a partner or kids, but I've been surprised at the amount of people who seem so shocked that I would even consider moving!

People do get stuck in their ways, and fear change. Even if it is just a few miles not a few thousand miles. Lol.


Well done on the no smoking. :T:T
You must feel a lot healthier now compared to when you smoked. There have been so many positive changes for you recently, your head must be spinning.

So what's the next stage for you? House on the market and hunting for another? Or are you able to rent yours and rent another for a while?

I have rightmove envy now. :rotfl:

copperjar

Hey iwah Now there's the $64k question! Rent or sell and buy? I think I need to get my house on the market and see if there's any interest in it. I do love my little house, but unless I expect to be back over this way any time, I guess it would be better to sell really. However, if there's no interest at all, then I'll need to see if I can rent it out. I imagine that might be a bit easier to do.
As for renting or buying in the new place, well I will get a relocation package (I think!) so it would be financially prudent to buy - but I'm kind of tempted to rent just while I see if I like the area and whether my preferred location is suitable for work.

So, in summary - I don't know! :rotfl:

Had a nice day off yesterday spent with my friend just doing fun stuff and not worrying about things. Spent a bit more than I would have liked, so need to be extra frugal for the rest of the month, I don't have [STRIKE]much[/STRIKE] any spare cash left for frivolous spends. I'm thinking I need to get back on the eBay train this month, killing two birds and all that by clearing a load of junk and making a bit of money. I'd like to save a slush fund for when I move, its always nice to buy some news bits and bobs for a new home - and I'm thinking I need a new work wardrobe now I'm in a bit more of a senior position.

Have a couple of meetings set up at work next week to learn about this new job I'm starting. I really have no idea what it entails and the little bits I'm hearing sound scary! :shocked: I must stay confident!

Not too much planned for this weekend but I do need to write a BIG list of all the stuff I need to get sorted over the next couple of months. I love lists but this one might be a bit daunting!

Wordsmith

copperjar wrote: »

As for renting or buying in the new place, well I will get a relocation package (I think!) so it would be financially prudent to buy - but I'm kind of tempted to rent just while I see if I like the area and whether my preferred location is suitable for work.

I'd be all for renting, at least for a couple of months, to give you time to explore properly. How long do they give you before they decide you don't want the relocation package?

copperjar wrote: »

Had a nice day off yesterday spent with my friend just doing fun stuff and not worrying about things.

Good. I'm sure you will feel the benefit of this.

copperjar wrote: »

I must stay confident!.

Yes, you must.

copperjar wrote:

I do need to write a BIG list of all the stuff I need to get sorted over the next couple of months. I love lists but this one might be a bit daunting!

Don't make one long list. Break it down under headings. Either things like "House sale", "Work preparation" or whatever, or "Next week", "Next two weeks" and so on. Or a combination of the two.

Have fun! Good luck with the meetings.