What do you wish you had known with your first newborn?

donteatthat

My baby came so early and so quickly that I missed all my antenatal classes, hadn't thought about a birth plan and didn't even time to pack a bag to go in to hospital with. So be prepared that even with the best laid plans in place expect the unexpected!
Also, don't listen to anyone who tells you that nipple confusion exists and not to use bottles for 4 weeks - that's rubbish! All the babies I came across in hospital coped with bottles and breastfeeding with no problems at all and the nurses said they'd not come across it. The benefit of this being that if you do want to breastfeed you can get some catch up sleep by letting someone else feed the baby very handy when the baby wants to feed every 3-4 hours you quickly feel like a zombie if you are trying to do it all yourself. It helps Dad to bond too.
I wish I'd known just how noisy they are when they are sleeping too!

Neeny82

This is all fabulous advice! I'll be referring to this thread a lot me thinks xxxxx

kegg_2

If you have a baby boy remember whenyou change his happy to have something handy to throw over his bits as it will save you a wee shot in the eye.
Plus if you have a boy remember when putting a fresh nappy on him to make sure his willie is pointing downwards or on the first wee 9 times out of ten the wee will leak over the waistband and soak into his babygrow.

Nara

Just remember mum always knows best

My daughter was ill from 5 weeks old with silent reflux, she was my first baby (and only one so far..) she screamed 24/7, never slept for more then 2 hours at a time and used to arch her back in pain. Took me 3 months to convince the dr's and Midwives that something was 'wrong' after being told that babies cry, just get on with it!! You know your child better then anyone, people will try and fob you off when your a first time mum thinking that they know better then you, well they don't! I'm not an idiot and could tell my DD was in pain 24/7 and SCREAMING, not crying because of hunger/dirty nappy etc.....so stick to your guns if theres anything you are worried about!

Think most other things have all been covered here!

FairyShazza

This thread is fantastic - thank you all so much for all this useful information

As someone who is currently pregnant with their first I shall be bookmarking this and referring to it later on! keep those hints and tips coming

Best wishes to the OP for their impending arrival

Kellyg

Just wanted to say what a great thread.

I'm also pregnant with my first and I will be checking back often.

Keep the tips coming!

fantasia322

Winky (knw you from MG's Matrix)
Congratulations on an amazingly sensible thread, someone should write a book (if it has'nt been done already) with the info in here.
No scaremongering, just genuine, sensible stuff from experienced mums.
Erm think am an experienced Mum, I shoved out 4 and c-sectioned 1, so have 5 (4 boys & 1 girl).
Best advice. Take help if its offered,
Don't let all and sundry pick up and cuddle newborn till you and dad have bonded properly. They all think (family) that they have the divine right to hold the baby and even want to lift and pick up when baby is sleeping.
Dummies are fine if you are comfortable with them.
If you dont feel breastfeeding is working, formula feed. Formula babies thrive just the same. Plus gives dad the chance to sharenight feeds. Express breast milk and let dad night feed regardless. you need your sleep.
You have just given birth and are the most important person in the world. Accept that and expect to be treated that way for the 1st few weeks.
Dont worry about hormones, leaky b o o b s or a little bit of blood. it normal.
And if youu arent breastfeeding or decide to stop and get engorged with milk, stuff some cabbage leaves in your bra (YES SERIOUSLY)
google it if you dont believe me. Instant relief, even works if you are breast feedng and they get achey.
The best of luck, you will be fine, a great mum in the making.
Heather x

donnaessex

Limit visits to certain times of the day - Mondays 9am-12pm, Tuesdays 5pm-8pm, Wednesdays 12pm-3pm that sort of thing. The most tiring part of having a newborn was the constant visitors and never being able to relax. If you know when people are going to turn up, it makes life so much easier.

Babygros are acceptable clothing for at least the first 6 months - comfort is everything to a baby. Frills are not.

Housework comes bottom of the list (and sometimes falls off the list completely).

Try to "enforce" a comforter on them. I chose muslins as they were cheap and I could easily have 20 in my house and they washed up fine. My kids both still sleep with a muslin (2 and 3 years old). My niece was attached to a comfort blanket and only THAT ONE would do. My sister has such trouble getting it off her to wash and dry that most of the time its a dirty, sticky mess! Muslins are interchangeable.

I found the absolutely cheapest elephant-sized sanitary pads were the best. The ones they give you in hospital were the ones I liked the most as you need "support" for the first few days post birth. Don't tell anyone but when I had my second baby, I ran round the maternity ward hoovering up as many of those pads I could find to take home with me!!!

Baby blues. Day 3/4 you just start sobbing into your new baby for no reason whatsoever and your boobs swell to gigantuan proportions. It goes in about 12-24 hours!

People are saying dont feel guilty if you cant breastfeed. I say dont feel guilty if you DO breastfeed! I had so many inappropriate comments on feeding my babies and I was always super discreet. My MIL was actually disgusted that I was still breastfeeding at 6 months. I didnt tell her that I carried on until well past their first birthdays!!!

Ignore what they "should" be doing. Try not to put too much emphasis on what milestones they should be reaching - each baby is different and they'll all get there eventually.

Sleep as much as you can. Dont feel guilty for falling asleep at 6pm - embrace the sleep!

Make a load of "ready meals" in the weeks before the birth. Batchcook and freeze enough to keep you and your husband in meals for lunch and dinner for a month.

Don't get too het up on your birth plan. I was a "go with the flow" kind of gal, and had a very long labour but was open to pain relief and had an epidural and gas and air. My sister however, insisted she wanted to do it natural, and through no fault of her own ended up with a 22 hour labour with an emergency c-section. It bothered her for months afterwards that she hadnt had the birth she'd wanted. You cant control these things and you have no idea what you will do until you are actually experiencing full blown labour.

When you do get visitors, ask them to do a chore for you - most will jump at the chance as everyone wants to help a new mum! I didnt take advantage with my first baby but when I had my second I had people making me dinner, hoovering, putting the washing on and hanging it out and I even had my aunt painting my garden fence!!! Do not offer tea - ask if they want one, when they say yes, say "I'll have one too, kettles just boiled".

Be aware that pushing a baby out means you may poo and not realise it. That never happened to me of course.

I miss my two's newborn days sooooooo much. You don't realise how lovely a baby is until you look back at photos of them. I would keep them like that at all times if I could.

Enjoy!

clairehi

starnight wrote: »

don't feel guilty if you can't BF

I agree there is no need for anyone to feel guilty about not BFing BUT suggest that if you do want to BF, make sure before the baby is born that you have contact details for a good BFing counsellor that you can call on if you have problems.

there are lots of mums who give up BFing unwillingly, because they are having problems with it that could be solved if they had got the right advice and support. Don't blame yourself if you dont find it easy - but feel free to blame the healthcare professionals if they give you cr*p advice which means that you cant find a way to carry on with it....

my advice would be that if you want to BF, try and stick with it for a month. by then you will have got through the hardest part and it will be so much easier than bottles.

Mrs_E_plus_2

Dont be afriad to tell visitors when their time is up!

If people offer to help, accept it and get 40 winks in

Expect that roughly 3-7 days after the birth you will just want to sit and cry for no reason ither than to let it out. Sounds crazy but its a release! mine happened at a family BBQ, so keep your diary empty for the first 10 days or so! :eek: 2 or 3 days later... everything was fine. Its not post natal depression so dont freak out.