What do you wish you had known with your first newborn?

Gillby1

I love this thread! Nothing can prepare you for bringing home a newborn, but the info here will certainly help.

Things i wish i'd known:

- That breastfeeding doesn't necessarily hurt! I exclusively bfed my very hungry baby, sometimes constantly, and i didn't get the cracked, bleeding, sore nipples or agonisingly swollen boobs that i was expecting! Didn't hurt a bit.

- Swaddling really helps many babies to sleep. I thought my little boy was 'fighting' when i tried swaddling him, but in fact all babies will fidget whilst being wrapped up. Once swaddled and sleeping they sleep for much, much longer as they don't wake themselves up by twitching. Persevere.

- If you are breastfeeding, it's worth expressing in the morning (when supplies are often at their highest) and using this to top up the evening feed (when supplies are often low and babies are therefore often fussy). This may help your baby to sleep longer before waking for the first night feed. This also allows your partner do the evening feed so you can get a longer stretch of sleep, if possible.

- Not to stress about nap and night sleeping. Some babies just aren't capable of taking long naps or sleeping through the night until 6 months or so, and some even longer, no matter what you do. My little boy, and many of my friends babies, just suddenly started sleeping well around the 6 month mark - all by themselves.

It's tough, but gets so much easier after a few months, and now i can't wait to do it all again!:j xxx

Poly,put_the_kettle_on

Gillby1 wrote: »

I love this thread! Nothing can prepare you for bringing home a newborn, but the info here will certainly help.

Things i wish i'd known:

- That breastfeeding doesn't necessarily hurt! I exclusively bfed my very hungry baby, sometimes constantly, and i didn't get the cracked, bleeding, sore nipples or agonisingly swollen boobs that i was expecting! Didn't hurt a bit.

- Swaddling really helps many babies to sleep. I thought my little boy was 'fighting' when i tried swaddling him, but in fact all babies will fidget whilst being wrapped up. Once swaddled and sleeping they sleep for much, much longer as they don't wake themselves up by twitching. Persevere.

- If you are breastfeeding, it's worth expressing in the morning (when supplies are often at their highest) and using this to top up the evening feed (when supplies are often low and babies are therefore often fussy). This may help your baby to sleep longer before waking for the first night feed. This also allows your partner do the evening feed so you can get a longer stretch of sleep, if possible.

- Not to stress about nap and night sleeping. Some babies just aren't capable of taking long naps or sleeping through the night until 6 months or so, and some even longer, no matter what you do. My little boy, and many of my friends babies, just suddenly started sleeping well around the 6 month mark - all by themselves.

It's tough, but gets so much easier after a few months, and now i can't wait to do it all again!:j xxx

Swaddling was one of my first suggestions to my daughter when her newborn was restless just before xmas- but apparantly new parents are now told emphatically not to swaddle.

mummyemm

The midwives swaddled my baby in hospital. When we first got home I didn't continue swaddling but my baby was waking up 1 hour after being fed, I thought it was hunger at first but then I realised he was waking himself up when he jerked his arms and legs around. We started swaddling with a sheet folded into a triangle, the first night we did this he slept for 4 hours, when he got bigger we bought a Kiddopotamus swaddle blanket. He is now 15 weeks and we are still using the blanket and he usually sleeps from 7.30-3.30, has a fed then goes back until 8/9 ish. The blanket is tight enough that he feels secure but loose enough so that when he is awake he can wriggle his arms out of the top.
The worry with swaddling is overheating, but as long as they don't have too many other layers on then this shouldn't be an issue.
(Sorry if I have gone on a bit, it is my first post)

Princess_Coupon

Don't leave a nightlight on during the night or you may end up with a toddler that can't manage without one. Sleeping in the pitch black also helps a baby to differentiate between a daytime nap and night time when they should sleep through/for longer. Also if they can't see anything it's less likely they'll stay awake and mess about:rotfl:
When your not feeding/changing them put them down whenever possible or you might end up with a baby that won't let you put them down.

Poly,put_the_kettle_on

mummyemm wrote: »

The midwives swaddled my baby in hospital. When we first got home I didn't continue swaddling but my baby was waking up 1 hour after being fed, I thought it was hunger at first but then I realised he was waking himself up when he jerked his arms and legs around. We started swaddling with a sheet folded into a triangle, the first night we did this he slept for 4 hours, when he got bigger we bought a Kiddopotamus swaddle blanket. He is now 15 weeks and we are still using the blanket and he usually sleeps from 7.30-3.30, has a fed then goes back until 8/9 ish. The blanket is tight enough that he feels secure but loose enough so that when he is awake he can wriggle his arms out of the top.
The worry with swaddling is overheating, but as long as they don't have too many other layers on then this shouldn't be an issue.
(Sorry if I have gone on a bit, it is my first post)

Welcome :beer: Good to see some midwives adopting a common sense approach still.

pupsicola

when you are in the midst of sleepless nights and feel like you are bouncing off the walls - bare in mind that this phase passes. Eventually.

One day you will feel able to stay up past 11pm again

fluffysox

madtrekker wrote: »

1)

6) Babies aren't babies for long and time really does fly. When my LO was a few months old I came across this poem and wish I'd read it earlier as it's beautiful:

I hope that my child, looking back on today
Will remember a mother who had time to play;
Because children grow up while you're not looking,
There are years ahead for cleaning and cooking.
So, quiet now cobwebs, dust go to sleep.
I'm nursing my baby, and babies don't keep.

Ah this poem brought tears to my eyes- its gorgeous! I've saved it to display in my kitchen when our little one is born in May.

Gefjun

Morning all,

Son of Gefjun is not quite 4 weeks old yet, but already I have things to add to this thread!

1. Babies come out with enough nutrients to sustain them for a day or so - it's natures way of giving mum a break to get over the birth before the really hard work starts! This would have saved me lots of tears and frustration had I known this when he wouldn't feed at the 3 hr windows I was told to stick to.

2. I should have asked for more specific breastfeeding advice at the start. We had lots of problems with latching on in the first week before I could get to my local bf support group where the lady basically got hold of his head and plonked him on my boob! If I'd been shown that, we would have got on a lot better from the start.

3. Swaddling. Like many other posters, we were also told not to, but after no sleep for 2 nights, we tried it and it's worked a treat. If you're worried about overheating, swaddle in a single layer sheet, and put a lightweight blanket over the top which you can easily remove without disturbing the baby.

4. Nipple confusion - guides say not to bottle feed until 12 weeks and bf is established. We had problems feeding in the first week so we bottle fed expressed milk for two days to get some energy into the wee man. He took to me after this with no problems at all, so at 3 weeks old he's already getting an expressed bottle of milk from DH at night.

5. Keep the camera handy at all times to get lots of photos.

6. Take things as they come and don't panic that you're getting it wrong - it's a steep ol' learning curve and you're doing just fine. Make sure you seek the right people out for advice. I've been ignoring the health visitor and calling my sister who had successfully bf her two children whom are thriving now at 5 and 2 years old.

Good luck all new mums!

CL

Gefjun wrote: »

1. Babies come out with enough nutrients to sustain them for a day or so - it's natures way of giving mum a break to get over the birth before the really hard work starts! This would have saved me lots of tears and frustration had I known this when he wouldn't feed at the 3 hr windows I was told to stick to.

I can't agree with this more! Mo LO is 5 months old and when she was born she wasn't interested in feeding just sleeping. The MW in the hospital made me wake her to feed her after 5 hours and I wanted to BF. A sleeping newborn will not take the breast as their mouth is closed! After trying for half an hour the MW said that I had to get her fed now and if BF wasn't working I should give her a bottle. I was afraid of her being hungry (and I was tired and not thinking clearly) so I gave her a bottle (basically poured it down her throat). It caused problems with nipple confusion later on, but I am still BF.

I wish I had seen this info before I had the baby. http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/breastfeeding/firstfewdays/