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What do you wish you had known with your first newborn?

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  • themull1
    themull1 Posts: 4,299 Forumite
    If i had known what i know now, i would never have had kids.
  • pupsicola
    pupsicola Posts: 1,175 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    If anyone knew what it is like having and caring for a newborn no-one would do it. I asked my mum why she had never wisened me up to it and she said she wanted to see me suffer like she did. She wasn't joking, said it bluntly and straightfaced :eek:
  • themull1
    themull1 Posts: 4,299 Forumite
    I'm still tired now, and my kids are 11 and 8!! But if i could live it all again, i would have been definitely childless!
  • MERFE
    MERFE Posts: 2,133 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    gill_hc wrote: »
    Oh and don't ask if hubby can take DD2 home from hospital and leave you there so you can have a good nights sleep in the hospital in peace - causes all sorts of problems on the ward and you get loads of people in every day for weeks checking you are bonding with baby and not rejecting her. Made sense to me for him to have baby - I hurt a lot , he didn't therefore he can get up in the night to feed her !!

    I was in hospital recently when little one was 5 weeks and every doc I spoke to wanted to know who was looking after the baby - erm well he isn't only my baby so his dad has him. This prompted pretty much the same question from every doctor 'do you think he can cope' - well if I didn't would I have left the baby with him? I had no concerns at all leaving the baby with his very capable dad. By my 3rd stay one doctor asked if I was enjoying my stay in hospital or would I like to go home and I honestly felt like saying actually I like getting a whole nights sleep and having all my meals cooked for me but I didn't think it would go down well.


    back on topic I agree about not feeling guilty if you can not breastfeed - so many people are just a bit too overbearing about the breast being best I have 2 children at school who have thrived on formula. Also sleepsuits for baby, no need for clothes, wish I'd not bothered the first 2 times. and lastly this 3rd baby was very much wanted and took a fair amount of trying so I'm grateful for every moment with him even when he is fussy because I know it won't be like this long and I'm not having any more so make the most of it. Don't feel you have to go to every toddler group going or even go to something everyday, at the moment (9 weeks) 20 mins every other week at baby bounce is enough for me and a daily walk, groups are for some people but not everyone and babies don't need them, my other 2 rarely went to them and were perfectly social when they started preschool.
  • Big thank you to everyone who has posted on this thread..

    I am due in 14 weeks and some of these issues I had never even thought of.

    My only concern is the time I have to spend in hospital. I know if I have to have a section then I need to stay in for a few days, but I am hoping to get by on gas and air in which case I believe it is about 6 hours before they let you home.

    Did anyone get out of hospital straight away...
    ;)I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY;)
  • clare64
    clare64 Posts: 689 Forumite
    Never go out without wearing breast pads - you only have to hear a baby cry and you look as if you have entered a wet Tshirt competition!!
  • pinkshoes
    pinkshoes Posts: 20,579 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Things I wish I'd known:

    * You bleed for at least 2 weeks afterwards, so need LOTS of maternity pads.

    * It hurts for several weeks afterwards when you go for a poo. Eat lots of veg!

    * Breastfeeding is hell on earth at the beginning. Your nipples get cracked, they bleed, your boobs swell up, you leak milk over everything, even through breast pads, you're convinced baby isn't getting enough milk, and you just want to cry because even though it's "natural" no one tells you how damn difficult it is.

    * The breastfeeding DOES get easier, and when people tell you this, they are not lying. Even when I wanted to punch people for telling me "it'll get easier", I now know they were right, and having wanted to give up SO many times, I'm still going at 9 weeks and find it relatively easy now. Screw what the HV says - it's OK to use nipple shields to give your poor nipples a break, and it's OK to express milk and bottle feed the baby to give your nipples a break.

    * It takes a while to fit back into your own clothes. Your hips won't fit your jeans, and your boobs won't fit your tops.

    * Your parter will feel like a spare wheel at times, and will also need reassuring that he is doing a good job.

    Caroline78 - my mate was out in 6 hours, and most of that time was due to paper work. Even if you have a C section, you can usually go home the next morning providing your baby eats.
    Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
    Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')

    No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)
  • meritaten
    meritaten Posts: 24,158 Forumite
    I wish I had had the courage of my own convictions. I wish I hadnt listened to so many others I dithered about what was best for her. I wish I had known that as her mother I was best placed to decide what was best for her. but despite my worries she has grown up and has her own family and is a great mum. To all new mums - YOU know your baby best - go with your intuition and dont take advice that feels 'wrong' to you. just thank the advisor and ignore it! do what YOU feel is best.
  • themull1
    themull1 Posts: 4,299 Forumite
    I breast fed and bottle fed both of mine, no probs. my boobs wer ok, never really got horrendous, what used to happen before the baby was born is that if it was cold outside, my nipples went hard and it was agony!!! i had to press my chest up against the car heater sometimes!!
  • That when you are having to feed them sometimes every hour for the first few weeks you will feel like you can't do it anymore and feel like you are going insane. That soon passes and life does get back to *some* normality
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