Money Moral Dilemma: Should I lose my holiday deposits?

Gwynlewis

The obvious answer is that your friend should re-imburse you at least her share of the deposits. However, your post probably includes the realism of the situation "my friend had no money at the time" - a likely summary of where you are now.

Just make sure your learn from the experience.

mr-tom_2

Perhaps she could go with her "new friend".

bigpat

She should be ashamed of herself. 22 years and this is how she treats you? Of course she should pay you back the money.

If you have an email address for her, send her the link to this discussion. Just about everyone's on your side (and you don't get that often!) so maybe reading these replies would shame her into repaying you. Friend indeed!

dave2

Please clarify - are you talking about losing the entire deposits put down for the two holidays booked, or your half of the deposits?

Without a doubt she should be making good her half of the deposit, and I would definitely ask any friend to do so (though I wouldn't have to ask...).

But your half... That's where the dilemma is. On the one hand her change of heart is what has led to you not going. On the other hand, presumably you could have gone yourself or with another person? If I was the one cancelling and it wasn't reasonable for the other person to go without me then I'd certainly be offering to cover the entire deposit; but I'm not entirely convinced they should be obliged to cover it all if I could reasonably have made alternative arrangements.

motoko

She should certainly cover her half of the deposit, unless you take someone else with you on the holiday, in which case they should pay it. Then whether you decide to go on your own, or lose your half of the deposit money, is up to you. If she refuses to pay, then there isn't much you can do I suppose, but I certainly wouldn't consider her to be a friend anymore.

Chickenbrain2009

Disgraceful behaviour, I am always amazed at how people think they can just dump their friends when someone comes along. If she doesnt OFFER to pay then dump her, shes no real friend at all

tallgirld

Ask her to pay half. Then let it be a lesson to you not to do it again!!!

Been there done that I do ME now :-)

Talent

She is not your friend. You're not her friend by lending her money (paying the deposit was the same as a loan) for a luxury. Even loaning money for a necessity is dodgy ground, friendships are still lost. Don't do it. Cut your losses and her out of your life.

happyinflorida

You have my sincere sympathy - what an absolute !!!!!. Something very similar to this happened when I was young and I ended up paying for a friend to go on holiday with me whilst she saved holiday spending money for the holiday which was 6 months later. She promised to pay me back the money she owed me when we got back. After a year she'd only paid me £30 and I'd heard every excuse in the book for not paying me! I soon realised she'd used me and wasn't a friend at all, she wasn't a friend when we went either as she met up with some bloke over there and just abandoned me!!! I was very lucky that at the hotel, other guests that we'd become friends with, realised what she'd done and then took me under their wing and invited me out with them to dine and go out, so that was lovely and it didn't spoil the holiday. But it made me realise that she wasn't a friend at all and it was a valueable lesson in life - I've never, ever lent money to people again due to this as I now don't trust anyone!
I think that's what you are going to learn from this, but I'm very sorry that she's done this to you. I wouldn't give up immediately though, I would ask her to repay you. I'd mention what she's done to people you jointly know and to her family if you're friends with them, so they can put pressure on her to pay up.
I wouldn't hold your breath though, as I think she's not going to pay.

p_rushby

Try offering your old friend and her new partner the chance of using the booked holiday for themselves, if they accept this kind offer all they have to do is pay you the deposit then get the booking names changed. you must make this offer to them both when they are together and you may find that they will get hooked on the idea and swept up in a fury of excitement. even if the dont agree i bet your friend will pay you back once her new partner knows the situation, lets face it who would want to date someone who screws her old friend over ..