Money Moral Dilemma: Should I lose my holiday deposits?

gazzebo69

The dilemma here is whether you really need to call this person a friend anymore, it sounds like she just threw that all away when she can`t be bothered anymore.

So basically, she should pay up for your deposit and her deposit.

If you really want to still go and have someone else who can go, then you can give the deposit back to her then. If really feel the need to, but as she probably won`t be a friend anymore, then I wuoldnt rush to give the deposit back if you do find a replacement.

However, if she hasn`t already offered to pay the deposit back, then its unlikely she has the right morals to do so.

If it was me, and I wouldnt do it anyway, but if I really couldn`t go, then I would make sure my friend was not out of pocket straight away.

At least now you have 1 less birthday/xmas present to buy for.

Regards

madmuppet5

Visit her and ask for the money. If she refuses or makes an excuse, slip a fish down her sofa. With the weather due to turn inclement this weekend, she'll have a nasty surprise when she wacks the heating up

pensionernige

There is the human side and the "mugging".
I hope that you are pleased for your friend "finding" some happiness. If you are not then the 22years of friendship that you have given is not very good.
The money side again tests the friendship and there should not be any way that you are at a financial loss due to the change in circumstances of your "friend".
Sometimes though the lesson in life is only a money cost. You have not mentioned how the loss affects you financialy, as, if it just reduces your wealth and you carry on in life you can put this easily behind you. However if you are struggling due to the financial loss you may have to seek legal advice. A "Judge Judy" would love this case!
When you do approach your "friend" for the costs her new partner may be able to help repay you. Please do not accept monthly payments unless you have to. Try to get a lump sum in order to draw a line under the whole episode.

Littlemissteapot

She cancelled her holiday and she owes you the out of pocket expenses which is only her deposit and any costs that you incurred trying to find another companion.

It is unlikely that you were prevented going on holiday by her withdrawal, it sounded like you didn't want to go on your own so, she doesn't owe you the refund of your deposit. It was your choice not to go alone.

I'm afraid that she only considers you a friend when she is single. I would re-think your priorities and the amount of importance that you put on the relationship because it does seem to be only one way.

oldtrout

If your friend has the money, of course she should reimburse you. If she doesn't have the money, then she wouldn't have been able to afford the holiday anyway, let alone spending money etc. You probably would have ended up paying the full cost for her anyway.

How you deal with a comparatively small loss now depends how you view the friendship. My guess is that it won't be long before the new man has gone and she'll want to be best pals again. Think long and hard!!

Marco12452

You should definitely ask her for the repayment of her part of the deposits as this is what she is cancelling.
I don't think you can ask her for your part of the deposit back as she is not cancelling your travel, even though she is rendering you in a situation where you will likely have to.
If she happily pays her part of the cancellation and is apologetic then fair enough. If she argues about it and prefers to hide behind someone she has only just met, I would question her values and the value to yourself as a true lifelong friend ??

jonty1970

I'd never do that to a friend! It doesn't matter that she met someone else, she promised to go on holiday with you. Friends can last longer than boyfriends and she should be loyal to you!

Why isn't she going? Has the the new BF told her she can't go?

He would be out the door if he tried that with me!

And to people who have said, if you lend something, only do if if you know you might never get it back or it might come back broken, it's realistic but wrong to have to think that.
If I have ever borrowed anything, it went back in the same condition I got it and if it broke, I would replace it.

There are some very selfish mean people about, who borrow and don't pay back or keep things or break them! Cut them out of your life (been there and been burnt)
:mad:

Bargainetta

I have had something similar recently with someone I have known for 30 years but to do with jealousy which I hadn't realised it was as bad as it was. Anyway, that friendship is well and truly finished and, oddly enough, I feel quite relieved to have finally done the deed. You will be a very different person now to the one who first made this friendship. Time to move on and learn a lesson.;)

phuongdiu

You should not be out of pocket even if you could afford it. Your 'friend' should be thoroughly ashamed of herself! It's going to be quite difficult to get the money back from her and this could even be the friendship breaker. If she doesn't repay you then she obviously doesn't value your friendship and therefore there's no reason to be nice to her - let her new flame know what sort of person he's dating!