Money Moral Dilemma: Should I lose my holiday deposits?

JoannaS_3

Hey there,

This is a really hard situation as you'd think 22 years of friendship would be valuable to her.

For me, this is where I always trust my gut instinct, if you weren't 100% sure about booking the holidays (which I obviously don't know) then you should trust your initial feeling. Booking two was probably a bit much but I understand why you did as you should have no real reason why not to trust your friend.

I would talk to her, explain you feel very hurt at the situation she's left you in and you'd like her to agree to a payment plan to pay you back the deposits. Even if it is £10 a week, it's better than nothing.

Her reaction will tell you everything you need to know about your friendship, if she agrees, she passes, if she kicks up a fuss she fails and you should keep her at arms length, if you let her that close at all!

Good luck and well done for being a lovely person and friend! x

TBagpuss

As the holidays were booked at her request and on the basis that she specifically said she would go even even if she met someone, I think she is morally obliged to pay back the lost deposits to you, as it is as a result of her actions that you were left out of pocket.

I would be inclined to sit down with her, remind her of what she said when she asked you to book the holiday. However, I do think you had an obligation to keep the loss down as much as possible, so if you delayed in cancelling the 2nd holiday (i.e. if you didn't cancel it straight away when the first was cancelled) then I think it would be reasonable for you to pay your half of any extra lost after that point.

Has this person at least paid you back 'her' half of the deposits?

A.Jones

You paid the deposit, so you should have been in control of the booking. So you would have had to cancel the booking, not her.

You lose the money, as you risked it. Ask her for the money if you want. If she doesn't pay you back, then she isn't a friend.

Augustus_the_Strong

She owes you the money, and I assume you are not friends any more. You sound like a nice person, but maybe you shouldn't be so soft-hearted.

spikedouglas

You shouldn't lose out, but you probably will. You are gullible.

There are some things that a decent person will lend money to a friend for, food, housing, clothing, etc. But holidays, unless you are flush with cash ain't on that list. Despite the tantrums, I wouldn't lend my unemployed son money to go on holiday this year. Holidays are a luxury and are valued when you pay the bill - like my son I suspect your friend may not have cancelled so lightly if it was her own money.

samblack

Not quite what you asked, but have you asked the travel agent if you can transfer your deposit(s) to another holiday and either go by yourself or with another friend? Then you might not lose out financially.

scoobydoobydoo

you shouldnt lose the money but I fear you will.

However, DO lose the "friend"

armoured-smiler

As in lending items, never lend anything (money, items, etc;) unless you can 'afford' to lose it. As ANYTHING can go wrong, it could break, they could have to leave sudden, they could die(hopefully not) and since the agreement is between just you and your friend no relatives will not know anything about the agreement.

So when I lend stuff out, I take on that I might not see it again or could come back broken. I t better to do this than lose a friend over a car or something.

AdamUK01

Speak to your friend over a coffee. Does your friend know that you can't get the money back? If there is any doubt let her know how much you have lost, as your friend may not be aware of the amount.

Get the travel agent to send you a letter or email confirming this, so you can show your friend. Then it's not you that is asking for the money, but the travel agent!

Let your friend know that you only booked the holiday on her promise to you and you would like the money you have lost back. They should morally pay the whole amount to you back. If your friend is a true friend they will pay it back to you. If they don't, they're not the proper friend you thought they were unfortunately. Whether you want them still as a friend is a matter for you if they don't pay it back, but whatever you do don't be a walkover.

I hope you do get it back - let us all know what happens.

masonsuk

She absolutely should pay you back! I would be incredibly annoyed with the friend's behaviour - people should not do this to each other. Just bear this in mind next time she asks you to pay something on her behalf...