The Ultimate Incentive to get debt free… again. Dinah & NIM go head to head!

Birdie85

clearmydebts wrote: »

Sorry - but she sounds like a horrible person. Fancy threatening your OH with a demotion???

She is a piece of work! OH doesn't really like her but her OH is the nicest guy ever so we make the effort for him. I get on with her but she's the kind of person who is fine one-to-one then turns into a spoilt brat when everyone else is around!

I'm panicking about the BM dress! I'll probably get bumped to guest if it doesn't fit nearer the time, even though she ordered it too small and it's not my fault! :eek:

Birdie85

Good idea to call their bluff! I may speak to OH and ask him to talk to the groom about how much she has upset me and that to avoid further unpleasantness he will gracefully step down as best man so that someone more financially solvent can take up the mantle! See what happens then!

clearmydebts

Birdie85 wrote: »

I don't think OH would mind being de-best-manned since he thought he was an odd choice to begin with but we don't want to cause any problems as we see this couple a lot and we don't want any awkwardness. The other groomsmen are expected to pay too, 2 are the bride's brothers (who have very good jobs so aren't worried about money) and 2 friends of the groom who don't have GFs, mortgages etc so have the disposable cash to spend, as far as I'm aware. They haven't found the suits yet but think it'll be around £70. Surely if they're not paying for the hire the men should be consulted about their budget?

Sounds like they have overspent and are trying to claw back some of the money. Not your fault though

Tete_en_l'Air

Birdie85 wrote: »

She is a piece of work! OH doesn't really like her but her OH is the nicest guy ever so we make the effort for him. I get on with her but she's the kind of person who is fine one-to-one then turns into a spoilt brat when everyone else is around!

See, this is the kind of girl who gets to get married! It's not fair!

I agree with CMD, sounds like she's trying to claw back some money.

Three inches all over is a lot, especially when you're as slim as you already are. Aren't you supposed to go a bit over with sizes so they can be nipped in if needed?

Birdie85

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

See, this is the kind of girl who gets to get married! It's not fair!

I agree with CMD, sounds like she's trying to claw back some money.

Three inches all over is a lot, especially when you're as slim as you already are. Aren't you supposed to go a bit over with sizes so they can be nipped in if needed?

Yes you are! I was measured as a 10-12. I'd have ordered a 12, and I thought she did, but noooooo she got the 10! I told my Mum that I'd have to lose over a stone to get into it and she said ,'You're not losing a stone, you'd be ill!!!!' And if Mummy says so it must be true!

Tete, I wouldn't worry about this girl getting married, it's horrible of me to say so but I don't think it'll be for life. You don't want to be like that, do you? She treats him terribly but he's had a bit of a hard time with his family and I think he's just going along with it for some stability. It's a bit of an odd coincidence that they got engaged a couple of months after we did... she doesn't like people having what she doesn't have and that included me having a fiance! She's already said that when I have a baby she wants one at the same time so we can do it all together... more because she doesn't want me to be the centre of attention!

N.I.M

Birdie85 wrote: »

Tete, I wouldn't worry about this girl getting married, it's horrible of me to say so but I don't think it'll be for life. You don't want to be like that, do you? She treats him terribly but he's had a bit of a hard time with his family and I think he's just going along with it for some stability. It's a bit of an odd coincidence that they got engaged a couple of months after we did... she doesn't like people having what she doesn't have and that included me having a fiance! She's already said that when I have a baby she wants one at the same time so we can do it all together... more because she doesn't want me to be the centre of attention!

Birdie I agree with all of the above, Tell her your going to go jump off a cliff and she'll try to beat you too it too :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Oh and BTW Tete I made that comment cause I was waiting for the man bashing to start. You've been amazingly restrained about the whole thing imo.

clearmydebts

N.I.M wrote: »

Birdie I agree with all of the above, Tell her your going to go jump off a cliff and she'll try to beat you too it too :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Oh and BTW Tete I made that comment cause I was waiting for the man bashing to start. You've been amazingly restrained about the whole thing imo.

Yes, she has. She is being a proper lady about the whole thing

Dinah93

Birdie85 wrote: »

LOL! Get him told! :rotfl:

Hope you are OK today Tete x

I'm having a right stress with myself at the moment and I'm hoping for some perspective if anyone can help? We went out for dinner on Saturday with friends who are getting married next summer. I'm a bridesmaid, OH is best man. They're having a traditional wedding and her parents are paying for most of it but she has told me that her parents have told her that the tradition is that she has to pay for the BMs dresses and shoes etc and that the groomsmen have to pay for their own suits. Now I don't think that this is the correct etiquette anyway, traditionally the BMs expenses go to the bride's father and the groomsmen's suits are covered by the groom. She's bought my dress, albeit far too small so I have to somehow lose 3 inches everywhere for it to fit! :eek: They told us after dinner that OH would have to pay for the hire of his suit. I asked why as they are telling him what to wear, if I get my outfit bought for me as it's being dictated why is it different for the men? Isn't that unfair? Yesterday morning she sent me a snotty text saying I'd upset her and that she'd spent £200 on my dress and why isn't that enough for me? But the cost of my dress has nothing to do with the cost of the suits.

I explained on Saturday that every penny we spend on their wedding comes out of our honeymoon budget and we're not too happy about that but she just said, 'We're saving for our honeymoon too' like that puts an end to our worries. They got £3k from his dad for the honeymoon, it's not our fault that they booked a £6k holiday. She earns over £10k a year more than I do and really doesn't understand that I don't have £400 spare to put into savings every month. We worked out how much their wedding is going to cost us and it topped £500... we just don't have that kind of money yet she's upset with us because we can't afford to pay for a suit or to stay over at the hotel the night of the wedding! I texted her to say that I regret ever booking my honeymoon because we're going to struggle to pay for it and we're clearly boring her with our money worries. I just think that she's being really unfair and I was in tears stressing over it all yesterday. I'm not even looking forward to my own wedding right now because all we do it talk about hers! Am I being silly?

N.I.M wrote: »

Birdie, I'm sneaking on to tell ya this but your mate is totoally wrong and out of order here. Dinah and I organised and paid for all suits and dresses (Well our parents paid for most of them but you get the idea). Anyway its on the happy couple to stump up the mooney or let you dress whatever way (within reason, no panda bear suits) you want. Get her told she can pay for his if they want him in a rental.

I think that if you choose your own its okay to ask you to pay/contribute, but you can't make people pay to attend your wedding, its like a tax for being a good friend.

If the bloke is reasonable talk to him.

And btw, I look forward to seeing you loose those 3 inches, I think the height will be far and away the biggest challenge for you though!

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

See, this is the kind of girl who gets to get married! It's not fair!

I agree with CMD, sounds like she's trying to claw back some money.

Three inches all over is a lot, especially when you're as slim as you already are. Aren't you supposed to go a bit over with sizes so they can be nipped in if needed?

All our bridesmaids got a size bigger than they measured at, and while they all needed tweaks, they all got there in the end. One of them was still a bit small even a size bigger.

The race.... it's not so much a race as me anhilating NIM! I think I'm somewhere around £200 so far, which is still !!!! poor for me, but NIM bless him is at 70p!

Poolie

N.I.M wrote: »

* whispers * Poolie, you think its safe for us to come out yet?

Not at the moment.

N.I.M

Dinah93 wrote: »

The race.... it's not so much a race as me anhilating NIM! I think I'm somewhere around £200 so far, which is still !!!! poor for me, but NIM bless him is at 70p!

Bless me? Bless me...I'm so insulted I dont know how to respond(Mostly cause I'm not able to come up with a good enough come back and its true)

Poolie wrote: »

Not at the moment.

Thought so *Hides again*