Alone and need advice from strong people

Bubby

You can always apply to the courst for an upward variation but please bear in mind that you "could" end up with less than you currently get. The courts would want to see that you are doing everything in your power to manage on your own income, they will go through your income and expenditure so please get across to the debt free wannabe board to make sure this is as good as it can be. If you are a full time carer are you getting the maximum allowance for this? If not then you need to get across to the benefits board to see what else you can claim.

Good luck

Juicyloo

@Perhaps you should re-read your initial post, as I thought the same.

It states you got all the equity in the house, get £105 a week maintenance, then on top of that carers allowance, CTC,IS CB, and CTB.

This does sound like rather a lot, and there are many on here who survive on far far less!

Errm, The fact people are living on a lot less is totally missing the point isn't it. My original post was about disparity. So have a go at him for dodging the system not me for trying to stand up to bullies.

Look at Section 25 of the Matrimonial Causes Act!

What this whole website lacks is compassion, but nurtures anger and massive failings of the d heads in power!

Oldernotwiser

Juicyloo wrote: »

Why ONW, should I not be struggling on the income I have at the moment- do you know my outgoings?

Outgoings have to be tailored to income and your income is quite reasonable.

Oldernotwiser

Juicyloo wrote: »

Errm, The fact people are living on a lot less is totally missing the point isn't it. My original post was about disparity.

People are offering you help in living within your current income. If you can manage to get more money then that will be great but it won't help you put petrol in the car or pay for school dinners tomorrow.

Juicyloo

Thanks, am going to do a soa now

carefullycautious

Sorry to hear what you are going through.

Sometimes you have to let go of the anger around what he has, it will only make you bitter and ruin what is left of your life.

I would rather have no money and peace of mind that the bullying has stopped.

Try to empower yourself by finding out what you can do to change things.

Circular thought patterns will only take you round in circles and you will get knowhere.

Good luck

edited to say dont waste what little energy you have left on what he is doing/has

Concentrate on yourself now and ask for help if you need it

Juicyloo

Am I missing a point- the whole divorce process is horrendous. Have struggled through that.

I really am seriously alone, do not see anyone from day to day, apart from my parents and my daughter and boyfriend (and son when he can bothered to pop in).

I understand joint lives maintenance is not normally given these days- syas something doesn't it?

So how do I prove a need? Is it just getting off the breadline as in able to pay bills and have nothing left, or is it asking to be able to go somewhere once in a while.

What other people are living off has no relevance I'm sorry. That is not my business. My business is about stopping the greedy cats taking the p**s out of everyone. And by the way, he works in IT for a bank and has worked probably for every bank in this country.

They pay him a large amount of money to write cheque clearing systems. Sure that is now gonna go- but he is in Jersey today, London last week, Isle of Man also- how is this fair?

carefullycautious

Im sorry but you are going through the anger stage at the moment. Im afraid nothing we say on here is going to be heard.

Juicyloo

thanks carefullycautious, it is making me bitter.

My last post crossed with yours.

I wonder at what point to stop pursuing this.

Problem is he comes round to my house after work and expects to be fed, comes around and stays at weekends (never sleeps here) and no matter how many times I tell him I m the parent with care for our youngest, there is no access provision, he just rings her and she will say not coming back home today etc. And no we are not a couple,our personal life stopped many years ago.

nearlyrich

My ex was determined he wasn't going to pay maintenance for our children, he did pay some but lied and cheated for the duration, for your own peace of mind let the anger go, you can't change the system but you can hold your head up and change your life to suit yourself.

It's hard being alone, I know a couple of young widows, children have gone off to uni or work away and their friends are all couples, they have to make the effort to see people, cook dinner for friends, arrange a girl's night out or in etc.

I was lonely when my children were small, I made the effort to get out at least once a week and eventually met my husband doing something we were both interested in.

Don't think about what you had becasue that was not a good life, no amount of money can make up for living with a bully (I know only too well) someone once told me "Living well is the best revenge" it's so true and your future is in your hands good luck..