Any SAHMs have "help"?

emweaver

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

TBH, I'd have left her messy until bedtime, unless the felt tips were rubbing off on furniture etc, in which case I'd have given a brisk rub with a dry towel and hoped for the best ...

we all do things differently

jimjams_mommy

I'm a SAHM with a baby and 3yr and would love help sometimes because my health isn't great some days due to I.I.H ( intercrainal hypertension and pnd ) and my family seem to blame weight even tho i have lost 3 stone in the past 8 months:(.

My mum lives closer to my sister and walks her kids to school every day and has them from 6am to 6am 2 days a week because they can't afford childcare with two wages but have all the latest sky plus hd etc. I would just love for her just to say i'm a good mum:( or to mind the little ones so i could have a nap for once.

woman have it hard, because were dammed if we do or dammed if we don't whatever we do weather we work or not. I'v worked and been at home and they are both hard and again take my hats off to single mums.

Counting_Pennies_2

jimjams_mommy wrote: »

My mum lives closer to my sister and walks her kids to school every day and has them from 6am to 6am 2 days a week because they can't afford childcare with two wages but have all the latest sky plus hd etc. I would just love for her just to say i'm a good mum:( or to mind the little ones so i could have a nap for once.

If it is any help, I have quite a similar family situation. Sister gets stacks of family help, and is always 'poor old thing, no money, needs help' it is me that has suffered the PND and had no help from them, or encouragement.

All I can say is you know it yourself, and one day when you are through the worst of it, you will be stronger. Hang in in there.

Have you tried Homestart. They are absolutely amazing. When I get stronger in the next few years I fully intend to volunteer for them and give back what help I received.

jimjams_mommy

thanks counting pennies big hugs, i had a lady visit me every week but then her daughter got ill. My family have no idea! i was even being picked up to go to "mum's in mind" group they just thought it was just a toddler group and thought i was being to lazy to drive!
CP you are right but it hurts. I will volunteer when i'm better.

Savvy_Sue

emweaver wrote: »

we all do things differently

True enough, I was just making a suggestion, ie that just because a child isn't in pristine condition you don't necessarily have to do anything about it. Obviously if there's muck being spread then getting them out of dirty togs, face and hands wiped, is a good plan, but if it's NOT being spread then why worry?

I mean, when mine came home from nursery / school covered in paint, I'd leave them in those clothes rather than get them changed. It didn't matter, to me, that they weren't spotless.

I guess it started because DS1 was a very pukey / dribbly baby, for example, and was ALWAYS wet around the neck, which was a bit spotty as a result. MIL always thought I should change his clothes as soon as he got wet. Well yes, I could have done, except that I'd have spent all day changing his clothes, I'd have had a mountain of washing, and he would STILL have been constantly wet round the neck! I just mopped him up through the day as best I could.

cazscoob

my LO has always got pictures on his tummy, i have a tatoo so think he is copying me! if i wash it off he will daw it on just as quick! and my lifesaver tip for non washable pens is matey bubble bath!

I have my sister who helps out when i ask but apart from that we have no family involvement, i really do wish my mum would step in and take the kids for a while for their sake as much as mine?

clairibel

pelirocco wrote: »

Because they dont help you?

Of course, both retired and every time we ask for help there is some excuse not to...i would class this as selfish! You don't know my situation so why judge on a small post?

I'll help anyone in need and have done for both sets of parents...i know you don't give to receive but i also do not want to be taken for a ride.

thorsoak

clairibel wrote: »

I've never had any help from anyone since giving birth (husband clueless and MIL and mother are selfish) ...................I work part time as a cleaner funnily enough...other peoples homes are gleaming..shame about my own lol :rotfl:

Why should MIL or mother automatically have to help you? Do you help them? And maybe because you do work as a cleaner they think that your standard might be too high for them!

FBaby

You can't compare working vs not working just as you can't compare kids. My two are natural leeches with the advantages and disadvantages. the main advantage is a lot of cuddling and making me feel like a very loved mummy, the main disadvantage is they demand a lot of attention and leave little time for me to get on with things (well talking about the past, they are now 7 and 10, and after many yaers of telling them to get on with things, they have resorted to being leeches to each other!).

Seriously, some babies can be left in their play area, toddlers in front of a few toys and they will entertain themselves for a couple of hours, some like mine, after 5 minutes of playing or sorting out a game quickly, they needed more stimulus and attention. I was so jealous of the mum of the independent babies, but they now envy me when my 7 year old boy still gives me huge kisses and hugs in front of anyone!

Really, if you can afford the help and you are happy to let strangers in your house, then go for it, it's your money and you do what you want with it!

Any

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Hmmm, some people have started to become a tiny bit judgmental. I don't have any children but I can see the benefit of having someone come in for a few hours a week, even if it just frees up a bit time to get the shopping and some errands done. I can certainly understand how running a home and looking after small children could make a woman feel like a hamster on a wheel. If I was a SAHM and could afford some help I wouldn't think twice about it.

Completely agree with this post...
Also, if you can afford it and you hate WHY WOULD YOU? Just so other people don't judge you?

What a lovely life... Be with a child 24/7 and while he/she is asleep, quickly run around to tidy up, lovely tea on the stove, warm slippers by the door waiting for hubby with a glass of gin&tonic in hand...

Very stimulating...

My worst nightmare I have to say. Sorry about that, but it is. Probably why I don't have any children.

OP, my sister has a help. She has 2 children and a little business run from home (very add hoc) and she absolutely hates housework. Cleaner comes once a fortnight to do proper clean, sister still has to run the hoover around the house occasionaly and tidy up on daily bases and that takes a lot of time in itself.

Her husband is very untidy and he very happily sacrifices the money so she is not nagging him constantly about tidiness!! I tell you that household is much nicer place since they got a cleaner in:D