My Dads Dead What Now?

silvasands

Hi,
I `m hoping your mum and yourself are faring better than when you first wrote.
The suggestion about the `Rent a room scheme` is a definite possibility. Both my sone rent out a room in their houses which helps immensely to pay for bills and little extras. You are allowed to `earn` over £4000 per annum and do not have to declare it to the taxman.
Another suggestion would be to consider offering a foster placement to social services. There are many children and young aduts in desperate need of a loving home or just one with some stability. For anyone prepared to take 2 family members, the payment is such that you would not have to work.
I am working in a unit where most of our children are in need of `good` foster homes but there aren`t enough to go around. You would also be helping others and helping yourselves.Enough money to keep the house well heated and some extra to all go on holiday.
If your mum needs looking after, there is a carers payment which isn`t means tested. The doctor has to ok it, though.
Good luck. Most of us have been hard up at some time in our lives, hopefully things will improve.XXX Mel

smashedcrab

Hi. I'm so, so sorry to hear about your Dad. Things must be so tough at the moment for you and your mum, but I hope you will both find comfort in the knowledge that all of us on MSE are thinking of you and sending you our love.

If you could get a lodger in, that's about £75 a week. We recently had a distant relative lodging with us who was paying just £40 a week for a room without any cooking or washing done for him (his choice I hasten to add!). Although £40 doesn't seem a lot it really did help with the bills, and I really missed the money (and the company) when he moved out. I'm now hoping to get somebody else in -paying £75 this time!

Hope things sort themselves out soon - get down to CAB!

and finally... big big ((((((((hugs)))))))) to you and your mum xxx

jan49_2

Sorry to hear about your dad.

You didn't mention what he died of. If the illness was in any way to do with his occupation it may be worth while seeking advice from a solicitor as your mum may be able to make a claim from employers.
Not sure how useful this is to you. We were able to claim when my grandad developed lung cancer after working with Asbestos.

Good luck and hope things get brighter soon

Jane

Insight

Hi,
Firsty, I send my condolenscences to you and your mother.
It's been really encouraging to read all the replies from everyone offering support, advice and suggestions
Can I also encourage you to attend the C.A.B?
I was only at my local branch (Gtr Manchester) just yesterday regarding financial problems I have relating to my ex-husband not pay me maintenance any more.
They were very helpful and if you take in the phone numbers of each of the organisations you owe money to they may be willing to phone them whilst you are there to sort things out on your behalf.
This is very helpful when it is an emotionally charged time for you and you may not be thinking clearly.
My branch has a telephone helpline from 14:00 - 19:00 hrs and the drop in centre is open 09:30 - 13:30 hrs, Mon - Fri. Your branch may offer a similar service.
Get there as close to the opening time as possible as it does get busy. They also say that if you get there before 13:30 hrs you will be seen but you may have to wait a long time.
I read this thread this evening and felt compelled to register for the first time.
I have been a Bereavement Counsellor for the past 10 yrs with Cruse Bereavement Care.
It's a voluntary counselling service and therefore you don't have to pay for counselling (though they appreciate donations, small or large, or none at all).
During this time of grief you or your mother, or both of you may benefit greatly from sharing with a trained counsellor, the emotions and issues you have surrunding your father's death.
What also struck me, when reading all the replies you have, is the amount of people who are relating to what you are experiencing, and so I was motivated to register tonight to post Cruse's website on here in case it helps you or any one of those who have felt compassion for what you and your mother is going though.
Cruse cannot give financal advice but they can support someone through a bereavement and all the unforeseen complications it can bring along too.
Unfortunately there are usually waiting lists for counselling, though this can vary form area to area due to the availability of the counsellors, so if anyone is contenplating counselling then request the counselling sooner rather than later.
Your bereavement is very new and so you may be best leaving the counselling for another month or two, if you choose to go through that route, but even if you speak to your local branch next week you will be sent some information booklets which could be helpful and then you can approach them again when you're ready.
Even if the bereavement was a number of years ago or in your childhood you can still approach Cruse for counselling as talking with someone about it may help you get it in perspective and understand what was going on for you at that time, and how it may still be affecting you.
Cruse have a good website which is well worth a viewing, with a really good link to a youth bereavement website of theirs, as we shouldn't forget the children who are left behind who may benefit from support.

For England, Wales, Northern Ireland & Isle of Man please see...

https://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk

...and for Scotland see....

https://www.crusescotland.org.uk

Keep strong, don't bottle it up.

Kind regards....from 'Insight' x

Insight

Hi,
Firsty, I send my condolenscences to you and your mother.
It's been really encouraging to read all the replies from everyone offering support, advice and suggestions
Can I also encourage you to attend the C.A.B?
I was only at my local branch (Gtr Manchester) just yesterday regarding financial problems I have relating to my ex-husband not pay me maintenance any more.
They were very helpful and if you take in the phone numbers of each of the organisations you owe money to they may be willing to phone them whilst you are there to sort things out on your behalf.
This is very helpful when it is an emotionally charged time for you and you may not be thinking clearly.
My branch has a telephone helpline from 14:00 - 19:00 hrs and the drop in centre is open 09:30 - 13:30 hrs, Mon - Fri. Your branch may offer a similar service.
Get there as close to the opening time as possible as it does get busy. They also say that if you get there before 13:30 hrs you will be seen but you may have to wait a long time.
I read this thread this evening and felt compelled to register for the first time.
I have been a Bereavement Counsellor for the past 10 yrs with Cruse Bereavement Care.
It's a voluntary counselling service and therefore you don't have to pay for counselling (though they appreciate donations, small or large, or none at all).
During this time of grief you or your mother, or both of you may benefit greatly from sharing with a trained counsellor, the emotions and issues you have surrunding your father's death.
What also struck me, when reading all the replies you have, is the amount of people who are relating to what you are experiencing, and so I was motivated to register tonight to post Cruse's website on here in case it helps you or any one of those who have felt compassion for what you and your mother is going though.
Cruse cannot give financal advice but they can support someone through a bereavement and all the unforeseen complications it can bring along too.
Unfortunately there are usually waiting lists for counselling, though this can vary form area to area due to the availability of the counsellors, so if anyone is contenplating counselling then request the counselling sooner rather than later.
Your bereavement is very new and so you may be best leaving the counselling for another month or two, if you choose to go through that route, but even if you speak to your local branch next week you will be sent some information booklets which could be helpful and then you can approach them again when you're ready.
Even if the bereavement was a number of years ago or in your childhood you can still approach Cruse for counselling as talking with someone about it may help you get it in perspective and understand what was going on for you at that time, and how it may still be affecting you.
Cruse have a good website which is well worth a viewing, with a really good link to a youth bereavement website of theirs, as we shouldn't forget the children who are left behind who may benefit from support.

For England, Wales, Northern Ireland & Isle of Man please see...

https://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk

...and for Scotland see....

https://www.crusescotland.org.uk

Keep strong, don't bottle it up.

Kind regards....from 'Insight' x