My Dads Dead What Now?

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Firstly , so sorry about your sad loss, I know how my own dear Dad's passing 6 years ago affected me and I send you ((((hugs)))) and hope that your pain will be replaced by happy memories in time. Your Mum is very lucky to have you with her to care for her and support her both emotionally and practically.

My Dad died without having left a will (also in Scotland) and although there was very little money and no property it took over a year to sort things out for my Mum. I don't know what your local CAB is like but most are very good I do know that there is also a local money advice project:-

http://www.tradingstandards.gov.uk/aberdeen/moneyadvice.htm#Debt%20Problems?%20-%20We%20Can%20Help%20You

No personal experience of it but I do know the one in Edinburgh is very good. I wish I could do more to help at this very difficult time.

I wish you and your Mum the best of luck and hope that everything works out well for you.

Take good care of yourself and of each other.

montycat_2

Hi ,

The form for all the Widow pensions is ,a standard one .If your Dad Paid National Insurance ,she should be entitled to a one off (not taxed) £2000 payment .She may also qualify for Funeral expenses .
When my husband died ,I went to the Benefits Office and they helped me with the forms .I have 3 young children so I get Widowed Parent's Allowance .Are there any life insurances you can claim?

Also ,with regards to the debts -write to each one explaining the situation .They may be wiling to relax things .

This link is very useful for giving information .

http://www.direct.gov.uk/RightsAndResponsibilities/Death/WhatToDoAfterADeath/WhatToDoAfterADeathArticles/fs/en?CONTENT_ID=10029808&chk=5Li3fR

Also,here is a link to the benefits available

http://www.direct.gov.uk/Bfsl1/BenefitsAndFinancialSupport/Bereaved_/fs/en
I hope this helps and ,my thoughts are with you .
She may qualify for Income support to top up her Widows Pension .

fatnan

Really sorry to hear of your sad loss. Lots of people are thinking of you and your Mum. Stay strong.

yorkshire_rose_7

Hello there, I've just read your very sad post and I would like to offer you and your mum my condolences. I have never felt the urge to post on the forum before, but your post made me register immediately, because I was so moved by your circumstances.

My advice to your mum would be to look up information on Disability Living Allowance. This is a none means-tested allowance paid at a couple of different rates for two different things - one is for mobility needs and the other is for personal care needs. This benefit is paid to people for the way their disability affects them on a daily basis.

Here is the address of a website that you should visit, the people on the benefits forum are very helpful and very knowledgable too: https://www.youreable.com

If your mum is eligible to get DLA then you should be able to claim Carer's Allowance, as you live with her.

Also, if she gets DLA she would be able to get a Disability Premium on her Income Support, so she would be a lot better off all ways round.

I do hope this helps.

Love and Best Wishes XXXX

Titania777

I'm very very sorry about your Dad and the situation you and your Mum are in. It's happened to me and you have enough on your plate without the added worry of finances.

As your Mum receives Incapacity and you are on low income you should be able to claim for a 'one off' payment towards funeral expenses (as long as there are no relatives that could pay instead and you don't have huge amounts in savings). It doesn't cover a basic funeral (cremation, one car, £20 towards flowers) but went a big way towards it and also our funeral director was very helpful. We could have paid the difference in instalments if we needed to.

As your Mum is receiving Incapacity Benefit she has to pay for all prescriptions and NHS charges. There is a form HC1 that you can fill in and send off and get some help (depending on circumstances). I'm waiting for an answer on mine so will update when I get more info.

Your Mum can apply for Council Tax Benefit but as she receives Incapacity she will have to contribute some (I live on my own and have to pay my Council Tax).

The government says that we should be able to live on £58.00 (approx) per person per week!!!! (Where, how????) When you receive Incapacity rather than Income Support you are stuffed as it's not means tested and cuts other benefits! If you were renting you could receive up to £800 month but as you have your own house (like me) you may only receive the interest on your mortgage depending on circumstances! (Sometimes this is as low as £20 a month). The form to fill in to claim for this is MI 12 but be warned - they want every detail about any mortgage you have ever held on the property (even if it was 20 years ago) and I'm still filling mine in!

Re the DLA (Disability Living Allowance). Fewer people are receiving this benefit as they have changed the criteria. Your Mum would be best off getting advice (and help in completing the form) from a local group that deals with disabilities (look in your local directory or ask at Town Hall). You need to fill this form in correctly to achieve a certain amount of points to qualify and definitely need advice and back up from your GP.

I'm around the same age as your Mum and I know it's an impossible situation, as I too have worked all my life until I became ill recently (mainly due to bereavements) and am now finding it a struggle. Keep your chin up and try and remember the good times. You will have good days and bad days and never forget that no one can take your memories. Take care and if I find anything else I will post.

David_Harrison_2

So sorry to hear about your loss. I'd repeat all that has been said above. Do make sure you find someone you can talk to about how you feel. A friend or colleague or even the samaritans. I know from when my Father died that you feel you have to be strong for your Mum, but you also need sometime to let out your own emotions.

One greatly under-used tools that we we used to great advantage is the Deed of Variation. If your father left a will, it might not have disributed his wealth / assets in the most favourable way. For example, he might have left the whole of the house to your Mum, which might be fine now but could cause problems later. In a D of V, if everyone who is a beneficiary of the will is in agreement, a solicitor (don't worry, it's not expensive to do) can rewrite the will so that things are distributed the way you want. This can be done up to 2 years after the death.

Ideas that spring to mind (please get advice to check the legality of these) are for the house to be left entirely in your name, and for your Mum to become your tennant. Again I don't know if this would be allowed, but if it is she might be able to claim back rent she paid to you as housing benefit, and if you are on a miminum wage it might not increase your tax liability.

Just an idea....

sluggy1967

Having lost both my parents by the time I was 30 I know what you are going through and offer my condolences. I have no advice, except to say that 2 yrs ago my husband had to give up work due to illness and disability, and we discovered that unless you go to somewhere independant like Citizen's advice you rarely get anyone official telling you all you are entitled to. We have a 3 yr old son and very little money, I have become my husband's full time carer and trying to get help can be very difficult, we naively assumed that Social Security covers things like this having been tax payers all our lives, the truth is, things are made as difficult as possible for you. This is why Citizen's Advice really is a good place to go.

Can I just finally say, in a world of cynicism & greed, MSE & the Moneysavers who write on these threads restore my faith in humanity. There's a lot of good people out there!

Titania777

Just another thought - did your Dad have any insurance that would pay the outstanding balance of the mortgage, or any life insurance or endowments? Also Incapacity Benefit goes to £86.75 after a year (I think).

Jnelhams

I am sorry to hear your news, my father died just before my 21st.

You did not say what your dad worked at before, you should find out all the companies from your mum, and contact their pensions officer, there maybe pensions or life insurance owing.

You should also speak to any Trade Unions or Trade Associations that your dad may have been a member of, as these often have benefits attached.

For example if your Dad was in the Army / Military then SAFFA (Soldiers,Sailors Airmen and Families Association) might be able to help too.

It will sort itself out, but it takes time. I wish you well.

silvercar

So sorry to hear your news. You seem to be working very hard to sort things out but do give yourself time.

If your Dad had debts, like loans, in his name only and not secured on the house, do not be forced into paying them. They will try and persuade your Mum that she has to take them on. If he has no savings then these loans die with him.