Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

NualaBuala

Frugal wrote: »

Me too - saw some awful stories on sky news website... made the mistake of reading them and wished I hadn't... I rarely watch the news... I know bad things go on but would prefer to stick my head in the sand tbh as there is nothing I can do about it.

Suffice to say we have had a major incident near to us which made the national news, and possibly worse incidents which have remained local. I have no choice but to remain with head firmly embedded in sand.

(((hugs))) wish you, and others, were nearer xx

Aw, thanks pet! And don't worry - I wouldn't notice any mess, bet your place is a palace compared with this bombsite! I am still on my news blackout today (although I have taken sneaky peeks online just to see if there is anything I ought to know about. But it's just politicians blaming each other for the most part, nothing concrete yet.

Oh Rosanna, I'm so sorry for what you've gone through. I think Christmas is a hard time for so many people. The enforced gaiety really got to me on a few Christmases where I was dealing with heartache. I hope you find your own way of feeling peace and contentment in spite of the sadness associated with this time of year. I love your idea of using foraged greenery, I've always wanted to have a go at that. I have a bowl of pine cones on the coffee table, I was going to spray them last Christmas but I ended up displaying them au naturel and leaving them there all year around. I've added some pebbles I collected from the beach too. It makes me happy to be able to see a little bit of nature even when the ME/CFS is too bad for me too get out.


(((((Mrs Veg Plot))))) I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I would find that very hard to cope with too. I think Ceridwen has given some excellent advice. Would there be any way of arranging the family finances so that you are in control of them and he gets a cash allowance? Is your OH getting any treatment? I'm guessing not because he's in denial but do you think he would go if you put your foot down and insisted?

I hope you all have a great day. I'm finding it hard to get going this morning, don't really know what I'm doing yet and am still in my PJs and dressing gown!

gailey_2

Hardup_Hester wrote: »

I'm having a chat with hubby today about fitting a curtain rail across out french doors, they are double glazed & we have blinds, but I still feel curtains will help & mayby one over the front door as well. I'm sure I can convince him when I show him the gas/electric bill as it's gone up from £60 to £115 in a couple of years despite me changing tariffs.
I take hm soup to work for my lunch, last weeks was just BOF soup & a bit heavy on the cabbage, so had a lot of 'High Winds' effects, yesterday I bought leeks & sweetcorn, both reduced, so I'll make leek & potato soup & corn chowder. I make them & keep them in the fridge in a large milk bottle & take a portion each day.

We just got new curtains for our supposedly doubleglazed patio doors in lounge. I say supposedly teh old curtains used to move on a windy night plus the curtains we had were rubbish, thin and dident meet in middle and the curtain pole was bent where eldest had swung from the curtain like tarzan plus had pully cotrd which worries me with kids safety.

So we went to tj hughues got new curtain pole but brought wrong size thanks to hubbys accurate measurements:rotfl:but thankfully it looks ok.
We got curtains from there too as knew I wanted very think, heavy lined ones and nothing in argos book seemed to meet what we wanted or our budget.

The ones I went for in tjs were advertised in their flyer.
They eyelet chennile spots and lined. we needed 90 by 90drop so unfortunatly one of biggest and most expensive size in range. it said rrp 180:eek:price 95pounds but reduced to 69.99!
I admit is a lot of money but felt it would complete our lounge and make it warmer. I do think teh lounge feels much cosier im well pleased.

I think you could go for cheaper curtains maybe and line them yourself.

Mrs veg plot-so sorry you finding out all this stuff.
Could it maybe be crossover before balance was paid?
we get bank crossover letters all the time.
I would do whats suggested comb through house try and get as much information as you can so you can sort it out into piles and start totting it up.
Also I guess if you knew al hubbys details you could do a credit check on him just to be sure.


I would take away his cards and give him eeither prepaid creditcard or cash to avoid temptation of spending.

I feel his problems are a lot to deal with by yourself I be tempted to get some proffesional help from cab, cccs or debt helpline.
The debt free wanabee board very helpful once you know all the facts.

If the loan is additional to what you remoraged.
Can he still do dmp with this loan company?
Sometimes sadly consolidating debt doesnt always work I know myself hubby did it consolidated everything into one masive loan but within a year or so his overdraft and creditcards were back!
Do hope you work it out. Think he needs go doctors maybe get anti ds and counselling as need to get to route cause and get him to take some responsability for his own mess.

Frugal glad you bit brighter hun.
I hate reading abuse stories towards kids in paper made me feel very sad last night.

Lindy loo- I hardly know this lady said hi few times she worked at preschool breifly she has 7month old son . its very kind of her just a bit annoyed with this mum for discussing my business with other mums in playground no matter how well meaning she is.
With my 1st we brought far too much and people brought us stuff felt like was drowning in baby clothes!

With my 2nd realised less is more and first few months prefer them in sleepsuits, vests and cardies as easier and comfy.

But others seem to like to dress babys like mini adults just like kids to look like kids.
I was think 15 newborn sleepsuits, 15 vests, 3cardies and same in 0-3 think that will be enough presonally.
Already brought 2 in sale , mam wants to buy some they usually come in packs so dont wnat to end up with too much.
Im doing well finding cheap stuff I like on ebay found some boy versions of the girls outfits I have.
Have afew things unisex in loft which be fine for boy so not too stressed on clothing front.

What bugs me about this mum is they have money but so tight on spending for their kids.
They quite happily spend 400quid a month on groceries, lots gadjets, foreign hols and new cars yet acts destitute when comes to kids. I lent her basket and crib. she brought 2nd hand carseat not knowing its history which they say not to do!
They got donated a tatty travel system with tiny upright carseat that she insists on using, she has a pram borrowed as she refused to buy and as much as im a bargain hunter she only buys the cheapest brands for her kids usually in sales.
I love some of the supermarket brands for everyday stuff and school wear find sainburys tu range quite good but special party outfits I try to go more pricey or buy next off ebay ect.
Im not sure if her daughter even has aparty dress.

Sound like aright snob here I guess but she just not fussy and takes anything no matter how bad it looks. shes very neurotic and stresses me out at times.
im just a fussy control freak, like things just so matching or themed ect . I dont buy much new just searching ebay for brand and size and do go to nct nearly new sales/carboots but im quite picky what I get and buy brands I know wash well.

Its not so much about the money I think its taking pride in her and her childs appearance you can get really cheap outfit from primark and still look lovley hope that makes sense.
Plus our parenting styles very different she has very weird attitude towards breastfeeding, cloth nappies and she shouts a lot, feeds hers lot of junk her daughter seems hyper probably amount of sweets shes always eating not sure if she does it for quiet life.

I done my best to support her by having hers whilst she had hospital appointments as her 2nds only 4weeks old but when i asked for her to pick up mine from school because I had hospital appointment she said no:(I think it was specific day rather than she would have said no anyway but still felt bugged. Her daughters seems bit of aloner so have arranged few playdates with mine but they always end up arguing so bit stressful.
I do try my best as dont think she has many close freinds locally and no how hard it can be switching from 1 to 2 kids just bit miffed she been talking about me behind my back.

Oh well maybe im being oversensitive hormonal pregant woman or instead of bridezilla turning into mummyzilla!
Just so exited its a boy and shopping for him.
already decided on space theme for his room jsut searching round for cheapest bits and prefer brighter colours to pastels.
Im making baby pram blanket, mams knitting one in nice royal blue and might buy one special blanket too.
I think no matter how many kids you have mummys like to plan babys stuff so its just right.

Anyway best go do more tidying as mams coming over today.
already sorted the beds and ensures the blooming pillow protecters are on or she would go mental.
Just about to tackle the bathroom and dirty washing.
before moving onto kicthen, hooevring dusting and clean laundry mountain. It will never be good enough for her high exacting standards but I do try.

Raining here today need to pop out and get milk.

Got busy day need to do bit of cooking when I get home this evening.

This last weeks run away with me and feel like I not managed everything.
Next week hubbys on hols so bit of support there.

ceridwen

MrsVegPlot

Checking in to see how you're doing - but guessing you are now checking things.

Anyways - glad to see that thats the consensus of opinion here - we all think you need to be checking things.

Gailey made a point re maybe its a crossover letter? Fingers crossed that that is the case - these things do happen sometimes (having had 2 crossover letters this week reminding me about making an appointment - AFTER I had made the appointment and would have thought their computer system would have registered that fact...). So - you might be lucky and find it was just a system glitch...

Also a good point made re checking his credit record with Experian - know this website has got something somewhere about how to do it.

Take care.

Penelope_Penguin

Mrs_Veg_Plot wrote: »

You might remember that Oh recently admitted to 21K of debt that we sorted out by remortgaging the house. Sitting here in despair as have just found a letter to him from building society discussing the shortfall this month on a loan payment which brings the total owed to £11.690.33.
I know he is depressed and is dealing with things by ignoring them but I have no idea how I am going to sort this one out. OH is out at the moment so will have to tackle him about it later this morning. As far as I was concerned this loan had finished and he had closed his account last weekend.

Sorry to hear this Has he admitred to you and/or himself that there's a problem that needs sorting out?

You and he need to get some help quicksticks - I'd recommend CAB or CCCS (by phone or online). I'm a CAB debt adviser, and you'd be amazed at hom many people come to see me in tears and leave feeling so much better as they can see a way forward.

I'd really recommend him getting his credit report from all 3 agencies (CAB can arrange this for free).

PM me if I can be of help. As Martin says, he's never come across anyone in debt who can't have theitr affairs sorted - it may take time, but it can always be done.

BB1984

Morning all, from a very grey and drizzly Dorset.
I'm stuck here in front of the computer all day today, doing my work, boring! I'm relying on you lot to keep me distracted/entertained....!
Had a lovely evening yest, went to a friend's house for a girly night in with 3 of my closest friends, it was so nice I did drink a whole bottle of wine though, so feeling a little delicate this morning, don't drink much these days.

Feeling the pinch this month a bit, am already overdrawn by about £10, get paid on the 25th. It's interest-free, so I'm not too worried, it's nice to know I have the option and don't have to move money from savings. Joint account tight as well - run out of grocery money already, but luckily we are well stocked (especially on pineapple and tortilla wraps!) so shouldn't have to buy anything (maybe milk and eggs) until the 25th. Had to pay for TV licence this month, we always pay in one go for some reason, but put the money on a monthly basis into the savings account for when it needs to be paid. I'd hoped that we could absorb the cost into the current account, thus being able to keep that TV money in the savings account for something else, but we couldn't manage it. So we had to move the money over, unfortunately - otherwise we'd have had no money in the account since about the 6th!

Expecting gas and electricity bills soon, we've switched suppliers so will have to pay off the old one. Christmas shouldn't be TOO expensive for us, though, as we're going to my mum's for xmas dinner and whilst we'll contribute, the cost is shared between lots of us. We don't go mad buying loads of extra chocolate etc, just a few treats like some cheese and biscuits, and a few nibbly bits for when friends drop by. I must find time to make some mince pies to stash in the freezer, they're always an easy win!

Found out that my DH has joined MSE! Sneaky boy, think he's checking up on me as I'm spending so much time on here....! :rotfl: So if you see someone called Darth Saver, say hello!

Big hugs to Frugal and Mrs VP and everyone else that needs a break right now. I do admire all of you for staying so strong in the face of so much strife.

BB

Fruball

(((MrsVegPlot))) I know exactly what you are going thru - its exactly the same as my ex - I began to open all his post and realised the extent of his debt and was livid. Esp having just found out I was expecting twins... anyway he got no better re finances and is now in an IVA and lost both me and the children (altho he sees them).
If he is not getting treatment for his depression, then he must. I really feel for you as I have been there and the feeling of insecurity is mindbending.

Hope it all works out for you xxxx

kidcat

Morning all - managed a good nights sleep last night and feel a little more able to face the world/challenges today. My mum is very down as a friend of hers died yesterday - bizarrely she is much more upset now than she was when her father died a few years ago!!

Mrs vegplot - someone mentioned credit report for £2, it is possible to go via one of the cashback sites and get free trial online which may be easier for you and make you a bit of cashback as well!! Having been in a similar position years ago, I found the only way to deal with it was to remove all his cards and ability to obtain credit (cos just taking away the cards meant he got new ones) so i deliberately defaulted his cards - bad credit equalled no new credit, then closed his account and all money went into my account - left me with sole responsibility - which is hard, but did mean we actually managed to get out of the debt, it can cause problems though as he can resent not having any money but if you have tried anything else there is no other way.

Frugal - your house will be a palace compared to here, some idiot decided to allow the littlies to play with bowls of goo this morning and its everywhere (:o:o:o:o:o - I thought it would use it up and be one less item to worry about!!)

Mrs veg plot - just wanted to add that in order to track full extent of debt - opening all post is required, it can take months for it all to become obvious and continuing to open the post allows you to monitor any attempts to get new credit.

jediteacher

Sorry not been on for a while. Thank you to everyone who gave me ideas where to get cheap wool from and the encouragement for making a homemade gift.

Big, big hugs to all especially those dealing with ill parents and OH's. My fabulous granddad died two years ago next sunday and I understand all the issues that some of you are going through with hospitals and care. It was a real rollercoaster of a ride and in some very small way it was a relief when granddad passed away as it meant he was at peace and so was my grandma as she no longer had to worry about how to care for him. Of course we miss him every day but we lost the real him a few years before he died as he had dementia - although he remembered his grandchildren right to the end.

I feel a little bad sneaking on here with some good news. Some of you will know that it's not been easy here and for a while I had to take some away time. Well, I have a little annoucement. I am 14 weeks pregnant. All not quite sunk in as had such an unlucky time before but went for the scan yesterday and all seems well. Need to wait for the blood results as I'm an older mum and I'm really worried about this. Anyway, just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who kept checking I was ok and I can now reveal my secret.

That will probably be the last time I mention the pregnancy as I know how hard it is for some and I also do not want to jinx anything. Will be telling family this weekend.

On a more MSE note we're going to try and eat our way through the food we have at home before getting any more. The freezer is full of frozen meat and needs to be eaten. Will have to get fresh fruit and veg as my little girl eats sooooo much of it.

Well I better get my bum in gear and start the meal planning.

taplady

congratulations Jediteacher:T:beer: nice to read a bit of good news :jx

BB1984

Lovely news Jediteacher! I love love love hearing about babies!
Big congratulations!

DH and I have decided to start trying in the new year, so I'm a bit obsessed at the moment! :rotfl:

BB