Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

Rosanna79

Frugal
So sorry to hear of your worries with your dad and glad to hear things look brighter. It's medical fact that the sooner rehab begins after a stroke the more positive the outcome is likely to be so stick to your guns over getting him the best 'deal'

Also should you need to complain there should be a Patient Advisory Liaison Service (PALS) service or similar in that hospital. Good Luck.

Sorry to hear of everyone feeling low at this time of the year because of the weather or the fact Christmas will soon be upon us.

There is a lot of research to back up the idea that exercise helps to manage feeling low and to some extent being depressed. I really struggle with the months from November to the beginning of March. The national 'health walk' scheme really helps.

Local led walks can be found under 'Walking the Way to Health', which cater for all abilities including some wheelchair or pushchair users. It's free, gets you out of the house and most of all you meet all sorts of people, often kindred spirits.

I grew up with a mother who didn't like Christmas on account of her mother having died 4 days before Christmas when she was a kid and my older sister having died 4 days after Christmas aged 2 1/2. She did her best for us but the overwhelming sadness she felt inevitably transmitted itself to us. I began to associate Christmas with family bereavement. Mother herself died extremely suddenly 22 years ago this month. It doesn't seem possible so much time has passed . When my brother developed secondary cancer in 2006 he was the last member of my immediate family to die in Feb 2007.

I'm very thankful for OH who's amazing and yet a lot of mornings, especially at this time of year if I take the time to sit and think too much it's easy to feel overwhelmed.

I try to keep busy and engaged with other people which helps.

Last year because of the horrendous weather and mobility problems I could hardly get out of the house so was unable to buy the usual 3 wreaths for the local family graves which go up in price every year.

We foraged in the garden for some greenery which dried out, sprayed gold and tied with gold ribbon made very presentable arrangments at a fraction of the cost. This year OH and I have also collected cones of various sorts and plan more ambitious wreaths.

Does any one else ever try this?

Thinking of those who're struggling at present and again for your amazing support on this thread

Fruball

Rosanna79 wrote: »

Frugal
So sorry to hear of your worries with your dad and glad to hear things look brighter. It's medical fact that the sooner rehab begins after a stroke the more positive the outcome is likely to be so stick to your guns over getting him the best 'deal'

Also should you need to complain there should be a Patient Advisory Liaison Service (PALS) service or similar in that hospital. Good Luck.

Sorry to hear of everyone feeling low at this time of the year because of the weather or the fact Christmas will soon be upon us.

There is a lot of research to back up the idea that exercise helps to manage feeling low and to some extent being depressed. I really struggle with the months from November to the beginning of March. The national 'health walk' scheme really helps.

Local led walks can be found under 'Walking the Way to Health', which cater for all abilities including some wheelchair or pushchair users. It's free, gets you out of the house and most of all you meet all sorts of people, often kindred spirits.

I grew up with a mother who didn't like Christmas on account of her mother having died 4 days before Christmas when she was a kid and my older sister having died 4 days after Christmas aged 2 1/2. She did her best for us but the overwhelming sadness she felt inevitably transmitted itself to us. I began to associate Christmas with family bereavement. Mother herself died extremely suddenly 22 years ago this month. It doesn't seem possible so much time has passed . When my brother developed secondary cancer in 2006 he was the last member of my immediate family to die in Feb 2007.

I'm very thankful for OH who's amazing and yet a lot of mornings, especially at this time of year if I take the time to sit and think too much it's easy to feel overwhelmed.

I try to keep busy and engaged with other people which helps.

Last year because of the horrendous weather and mobility problems I could hardly get out of the house so was unable to buy the usual 3 wreaths for the local family graves which go up in price every year.

We foraged in the garden for some greenery which dried out, sprayed gold and tied with gold ribbon made very presentable arrangments at a fraction of the cost. This year OH and I have also collected cones of various sorts and plan more ambitious wreaths.

Does any one else ever try this?

Thinking of those who're struggling at present and again for your amazing support on this thread

I think the handmade wreaths are a lovely idea. Sorry to read about your tough times, esp at Christmas. Hugs to you and everyone else who is having a rough time this year.

When you lose someone near Christmas, I think its hard to see the 'festive' season the same way again... One thing that I read (perhaps on these boards) was that having a photo up of the people who are missing from the festivities is a nice way of making sure they are part of it, even tho they may not be there.

Love to all xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hardup_Hester

I'm having a chat with hubby today about fitting a curtain rail across out french doors, they are double glazed & we have blinds, but I still feel curtains will help & mayby one over the front door as well. I'm sure I can convince him when I show him the gas/electric bill as it's gone up from £60 to £115 in a couple of years despite me changing tariffs.
I take hm soup to work for my lunch, last weeks was just BOF soup & a bit heavy on the cabbage, so had a lot of 'High Winds' effects, yesterday I bought leeks & sweetcorn, both reduced, so I'll make leek & potato soup & corn chowder. I make them & keep them in the fridge in a large milk bottle & take a portion each day.

mardatha

Wmf, I worked for a year with CFS and ended up flat on the couch for nearly 2 years, ill. Best tell her to stop it. Re cabbage, I cant cook it properly and its always bitter, is there a good way to cook it?

pennywisepoundstupid

Marthada, i always add some garlic to the water when i cook cabbage, then when i drain it , i season and add a little bit of butter, always tastes lovely.

Mrs_Veg_Plot

You might remember that Oh recently admitted to 21K of debt that we sorted out by remortgaging the house. Sitting here in despair as have just found a letter to him from building society discussing the shortfall this month on a loan payment which brings the total owed to £11.690.33.
I know he is depressed and is dealing with things by ignoring them but I have no idea how I am going to sort this one out. OH is out at the moment so will have to tackle him about it later this morning. As far as I was concerned this loan had finished and he had closed his account last weekend.

Feeling very very let down by him at the moment. Has this man got no idea about finance? How have I not realised over the last 19 years that he has these problems and why the hell did he not tell me about this when he owned uo to the other debt? I hope to god this is the last of it because I just could not cope if there was anymore. I don't know how I am going to manage to sort this out. Can't think straight about it at the moment, too angry.

Sorry for the rant but if I don't let off some steam about it now I won't be able to approach him reasonably. I know marrriage has its ups and downs but this is starting to push me beyond my limits.

On a lighter note Mardatha the best place for cabbage is disguised in a veg soup.

ceridwen

Sorry to hear this MrsVegPlot....oh heck....

Wishing you strength to deal with this.

Guess we would all have different ways to handle this. Its a double blow - financially and as regards trust.

My own personal take would be "Right....few deep breaths...strong cup of coffee and/or glass of wine and then I'm going on the search to see if theres anything else I ought to know. Better be sure I have the full picture this time - and looks like I may not get it from him direct.....:cool:".

I think that would be wise - ie to check EVERYTHING now - just in case there is anything else he has been hiding from you. You've got to know EXACTLY what you are "up against" before you can start dealing with it.

So:

1. Where is he likely to hide any paperwork? Loft, office, shed?

2. Whereabouts would he keep any information online?

3. Anywhere/anybody else that might be hiding information about his finances?

You need to be absolutely sure you have the FULL picture - and I think you are in for a busy day looking. So - take those deep breaths and that drink and get searching...

I will keep my fingers crossed (as I'm sure will we all) that you don't find anything else and that that really IS it now - ie the full extent of the damage. But you need to know that for sure..

Take care.

[Deleted User]

mardatha wrote: »

Wmf, I worked for a year with CFS and ended up flat on the couch for nearly 2 years, ill. Best tell her to stop it. Re cabbage, I cant cook it properly and its always bitter, is there a good way to cook it?

add a few fennel seeds (or caraway) it will make it taste better and take the windy effects away

[Deleted User]

mrs vp that is the worst news and your feeling of being let down must be overwhelming. We women are the stronger sex and somehow you have got to find the strength to get through this. I agree with ceridwen and you have to look everywhere for paperwork and bills. He will have stuffed them somewhere rather than be tidy. Gutting isn`t strong enough a word for you. Lots of hugs

cyclura

sorry to hear everyone is having such a hard time, this month has been a bit down in most respects huh!

MrsVegPot it might be worth getting a cheap £2 copy of his credit report as it "should" show any debts you do not know about. Its a start anyway.

What a nightmare, I know what its like though and it does hurt when you feel trust has been broken but you sound like a strong woman and you will muddle through this. When I moved in with OH he had a pile of unopened letters and one of them was a lovely CCJ which he had been ignoring. I am not perfect I have/had debt too but I was on top of mine and honest about them. My OH said it just got too much and his mind is not built for finance hes more manual and tbh its much better now that I took over the finance as its something I can cope with. I hope your DH realises how much this has hurt you and is honest in the future.

On another gloomy note my finances are up poop creek this week, work did not pay me and the accountant is now away until next Friday so I have to wait until friday for any money. That means mega frugal for me and mine. Luckily we have a full cupboard but I have had a couple of reversed DDs and charges due to this, thankfully I kicked up a stink and the company will be paying my charges and reversals which is a bit of a bright side.