Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

Fruball

Thanks everyone for your hugs, handholding and advice Reading all your posts has really cheered me up. Mostly I am being strong as I know how my Dad would want me to deal with this. Can't help the odd wobbly moment tho.

Unfortunately, my DSM doesn't really want me or my Uncle kicking up a fuss altho both of us have offered. She knows that I am not shy when it comes to making myself heard, and will use the threat of holding them accountable/legal action/publicity, whatever means I deem necessary... But she doesn't want me to At some point, it may come to me ignoring her wishes and acting in what I feel is the best way, but I hope it doesn't come to that... I just don't want her crumbling over the strain because she is too proud/doesn't want to upset Dad etc...

Anyway, will see what happens today - I just seriously hope they don't discharge him as I don't think he is ready, and I really don't think DSM is ready either.

Not been very OS today.... Got the DDs a McD :eek: as the kitchen is a mess and there is no room to even make a sandwich in there atm!!! House is a tip too... I've never been a neat freak, but this is too much chaos for me so a dear friend has offered to come on Sunday and help me sort it out... I am really embarrased tho as it is bad... so I have made a bit of a start on it. I tried to cancel her but she was having none of it. The state of my mind is definately reflected in the state of my house :o:o

Fruball

On the subject of boys toys/girls toys.... Pahhhhh... Let them play with anything they like... If he had a sister they would be sharing eachothers toys so what difference?

My friend's son had his own doll and a pushchair when he was little

I was a bit suprised today to find out that in my DDs class at school they have a boys dressing up box, and a girls dressing up box :eek: That can't be right, surely?!!!!!

I was in MrT last week and the girls were in the toy aisle... I wasn't prepared to spend on them as Xmas is round the corner but didn't mind spending 50p on a little diecast toy car each... the lad on the till was most suprised and said he had no idea that girls liked cars :rollseyes:

Very odd!!!!!

UnderPressure

dollydaydream07 wrote: »

Thank you for that, i shall have a look into it. We can't afford for me to stash money away but i figure if anything goes wrong then myself and DD would be ok and £10 a month isn't much - ok it could go towards our debts but i would rather have something to fall back on and with a lot of careful planning we can cut back and still manage to pay the same amount off our debts!!

You are absolutely right and KidKat makes a great suggestion, as a result of my hard time over the last couple of years I went from having a fantastic credit record to a number of CCJ's and more defaults you could shake a stick at as a result now obtaining anything is generally a decline it is a nightmare and is going to take 6 years to rectify itself

Anyhow I looked at our local credit union and as I said in another thread this is the first time in my likfe I have never had any savings and I dont intend to think about it again until January but have already decided I am going to save the max in an ISA and then whatever I can afford every week into our local credit union, these organisations are superb as said not only do you end up with a nice little nest egg but you also end up eligable for small loans as well which at times can be a godsend

I think it is a great idea and defiantley encourage anyone to save whatever they can afford wether it is a £1 a week or more it all adds up in the end

pennywisepoundstupid

Agree with the toys, only 14 months between my 2 kids and when DD was around 3 she got a baby annabel and pushchair, my DS went mad and wouldn't let DD near it, got so bad in the end i had to go and buy DS a pushchair and he would wheel around his teddies, he's now 6 and would be so embarassed if i told him, he is now a real lads lad, football, tree climbing, ohh i thnk i might just remind of it next time he is getting to big for his boots;).

UnderPressure

jackieglasgow wrote: »

There is a website which does "naming" a star for free, I did this for my dNiece's christening gift as we had no money at al at the time, and printed off the certificate and rolled it up like a scroll and tied it with nice ribbon. You could do this for both gifts. I will see if I can find it for you.

The one I used isn't there any more, but I found this one http://www.painterofdreams.com/ you can name two for free. If you have any nice picture frames you could regift, you could do this with the christening gift if you felt you needed something more substantial looking. (I never, but each to their own)

That is a fantastic idea and what a lovely gift for someone to recieve

Thanks for that link this is a definate for me I have a couple fo people in mind that will really love this

stiltwalker

My Mum was a primary school teacher and whenever any little boys made comments about girly toys she would ask them what they thought action men and the like were? Just a different shaped doll really! Got a few indignant little boys claiming they didn't play with dolls!

kidcat

Frugal - yet more hugs - and definitely accept help from your friend - if nothing else it makes her feel useful as I am sure she wants to help you.

Toys- my lot play with all the stuff pink or blue, have got a pic of my DS6 dressing in the pink ballet costume last year,:) currently their favourite game is having the teletubbies drive the scooby doo van to visit the disney princesses, in the dolls house!!!

UnderPressure

Frugal wrote: »

Thanks everyone for your hugs, handholding and advice Reading all your posts has really cheered me up. Mostly I am being strong as I know how my Dad would want me to deal with this. Can't help the odd wobbly moment tho.

Unfortunately, my DSM doesn't really want me or my Uncle kicking up a fuss altho both of us have offered. She knows that I am not shy when it comes to making myself heard, and will use the threat of holding them accountable/legal action/publicity, whatever means I deem necessary... But she doesn't want me to At some point, it may come to me ignoring her wishes and acting in what I feel is the best way, but I hope it doesn't come to that... I just don't want her crumbling over the strain because she is too proud/doesn't want to upset Dad etc...

Anyway, will see what happens today - I just seriously hope they don't discharge him as I don't think he is ready, and I really don't think DSM is ready either.

Not been very OS today.... Got the DDs a McD :eek: as the kitchen is a mess and there is no room to even make a sandwich in there atm!!! House is a tip too... I've never been a neat freak, but this is too much chaos for me so a dear friend has offered to come on Sunday and help me sort it out... I am really embarrased tho as it is bad... so I have made a bit of a start on it. I tried to cancel her but she was having none of it. The state of my mind is definately reflected in the state of my house :o:o

I didn't want to read and not post I am sorry I doont have any useful advice to give you I just wanted you to know that I think your great, the way you are taking everybodies feelings into account before action is something a lot of people myself included could learn from

I do hope it all works out for you I really do, as all I can add really is you MUST do what you think is right by your father, the most important thing is to make sure you have no regrets and no what ifs.

Dont worry about the house and your friend sounds like a star sometimes there are just more important things to worry about

BEst of luck with it all...............

maryb

When DD1 was a baby we had an au pair from France for the summer and took her with us on holiday to the Isle of Wight. There was a carnival type event on in Yarmouth and a dance in the garden of one of the big pubs there with a really good band - The Over The Hill Mob - playing 60's numbers etc - really good. Lots of stalls etc and the local Rugby club all dressed up as the corps de ballet and did the dance of the little swans from Swan Lake. I nearly killed myself laughing. Anyway, one of them subsqeuently tried to chat up Virginie - the poor girl didn't know where to look - I don't think they do that sort of thing in France. (The dressing up, I mean - I think the chatting up is universal!)

kezlou

hi all,

Frugal you've had great advice from everyone here.
Just wanted to say ((hugs))) and fight for the extra help he needs.
We did with my mother, and luckily she lived a fulfilled life courtesy of teesside hospice and macmillian nurses, fantastic organisations.

The assistane we recieved was immense.

Just wanted to say were all here for you.

Thanks everyone for your advice, really appreciate it.

Jackie the house is actually a dolls house and according to my partner looks very similar to one i got my nieces a few years ago but in pink.

Rachbc i'm having problems deciding what to do because we only made the at the weekend, so his friends haven't seen it. All the boys he plays with are very lively sports mad and weat tracksuits etc While snips will quite happily play mams and dads with his cousins and girl friends.

Hence the reasons why i'm apprehensive about buying it for him.

Well on Saturday i may take him to the shop and see if he shows me it, as i haven't seen it, he only showed his father. Then make the decision, so if he still wants it i'll get him it.

My seeds arrived today so excited:D. Think i'm going to start planning my yard today.