Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

jackieglasgow

Hope today has dawned a little brighter for you, frugal. I agree that you should tell the hospital in no uncertain terms that you don't accept dad being discharged and that you don't have the support in place for him at home yet that he needs. They can't discharge him if they have no one to pass his care over to.

Kezlou, go for the playhouse if he likes it that much. My DS's 11 and 8 still play in the older one's Thomas the Tank pop up house he got when he was tow, and love having some time to themselves inside it. Wee boys like having dens, I'll bet all his pals want in too!

Hope everyone who is feeling down at the moment finds something to smile at today. x

Pitlanepiglet

Hugs Frugal. I'd also suggest refusing to take your Dad home if you think that's best for him. You may need to convince your DSM and your Dad that it's in his best interests for him to stay. I've done it a couple of times after Dad's had surgery and they have wanted to turf him out in 24 hours. I just say "terribly sorry, there is no-one to care for him". I can be there in another 48 hours but not now (or whatever timescale works for you).

Primrose

Frugal - really feel for you. I've been there and know how these situations tear you apart. I've also refused to remove a loved one from hospital because they were trying to discharge him too early. In fact, I created such a fuss that I'm surprised they didn't call the police to have me removed, but it did the trick. I couldn't stop shaking for hours afterwards but they didn't mess with me again when a second hospitalisation was needed. I hope you and your step mum find the strength you need to get through all this. Kind thoughts winging their way to you.

dollydaydream07

kidcat wrote: »

Dollydaydream - there are lots of accounts you can open, but a credit union one might be good if there is one available near you, that way, if anything did happen and you needed to you will have built up a small nest egg and be eligible for a small loan to tide you over as it were.

Thank you for that, i shall have a look into it. We can't afford for me to stash money away but i figure if anything goes wrong then myself and DD would be ok and £10 a month isn't much - ok it could go towards our debts but i would rather have something to fall back on and with a lot of careful planning we can cut back and still manage to pay the same amount off our debts!!

Rowan9

Frugal- your hand must be SORE with all the squeezes we are all giving you - we are all in here holding your hand. You've been given some great advice about fighting your dad's discharge, if that's what you do. i have also been in the position where I had to be the rock, when my mum had a stroke followed by a breakdown and my dad found it very difficult. It is hard when it is your father, who has been strong for you all your life. I know this too as i was with my dad when he was very ill. You can do this. It is a heavy weight but your dad is so very lucky to have such a wonderful daughter. You feel this bad because you care about him so much. You will get through this. Sometimes the only way through is through and i've used that thought many times. Don't think too far ahead, don't look back too much at the 'strong' dad he 'was'. He is still your dad and he is just in a different part of his life right now. But you can bet he is so proud of you!
Thinking of you and sending such a big (((hug)))
W

rachbc

kezlou wrote: »

Fantastic news v8monkeyboy and your oh i'm so happy for the both of you!:j:T:j


Snips, he's 6 years old, has asked for a blue play house that was in the charity shop last week. He's absolutely besotted with it.
Me and OH are wondering whether to get him it, as we don't want him to be picked on by his friends.
Now he has a pink play house, which we made together out of an old carboard box , he picked the colours, etc He was so proud of himself.

so what do you all think, should we get / not get him it?
I honestly want all opinions and i promise won't be offended by any responses.

Thanks all!

Why on earth wouldn't you get it? Sorry I don't understand...you are clearly happy for him to have a play house as he's made one already, this one is presumabley more substnatial as its not made of cardboard, is probably a bargain as its in the CS...where is the issue?

rosieben

rachbc wrote: »

Why on earth wouldn't you get it? Sorry I don't understand...you are clearly happy for him to have a play house as he's made one already, this one is presumabley more substnatial as its not made of cardboard, is probably a bargain as its in the CS...where is the issue?

she has said that she doesn't want him to be picked on by his friends

jackieglasgow

I wonder if I've misunderstood and by play house Kezlou means a toy house like a dolls house?

Hippeechiq

Frugal wrote: »

I'm doing that tonight... am fighting tears. Dad is not good still, long waiting list for stroke rehab but docs want to discharge him tomorrow.... once they discharge him he is no longer eligible for the waiting list for rehab :mad:

My dear stepmum is doing all she can but i am worried about her managing... I can only do so much as I have little ones, and she hates to ask for help, but I will do what i can.

Its gonna be tough for us all for a while I think

I am so grateful that I have some very good friends that are supporting me, altho there is not much anyone can do really.

Love and hugs to those needing them - I know its not just me in this situation xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Firstly, I'm really sorry that you're having such a tough time Frugal

That's quite ridiculous, that your Dad's not eligible for the rehab clinic once he's been discharged from hospital :mad:

I know different parts of the country have different policies, but when my SIL had a stroke 3 years ago, her GP referred her to her nearest stroke clinic.....this was 6 months after her stroke, and my Brother only found out about the clinic because someone had mentioned it to him in passing.

So he confronted their GP who told my Brother, very apologetically, he should have referred her as soon as she was discharged from hospital......it beggars belief really, because she then, also had to wait another 6 months to get a place.

It's possibly not the kind of help you would ideally like as it's not rehab as such, because it's done on an outpatient basis twice weekly, but it was a tremendous help to her, so it may be worth you or your Stepmum going to your Dads GP asap and asking if you have something local to you that your Dad could attend, and if so, asked to be put on the waiting list.

My Brother had to leave work to look after my SIL for the 1st 9 months after her stroke, as she couldn't cope alone. And it was only through my Brother ranting to a friend of his that she had been discharged from hospital with pretty much no after care, that this person told him about the clinic.

Up to the point where she started to attend the clinic twice weekly, her progress has been quite slow, but since attending, although not 100%, I think she's probably as close as she will get to it, and she is now back at work 3 days a week, and she works in an office. The therapy sessions, both physio and mental did absolute wonders for her physical and mental agility.

I think the right kind of help is vital, so do enquire as to whether there are any stroke clinics available to you, and get your Dads name down, as, as much of a disgrace as it is, you aren't necessarily informed that such facilities are available to you.

Incidentally - whereas I appreciate all humans are individuals, and age and general health are contributing factors to recovery, on the night of my SILs stroke, my Brother was told to prepare himself for the fact that it was likely that she wouldn't survive the following 48 hours - so miracles can happen, provided stroke victims are given access to the best help available.

Chin up hun :grouphug:

dollydaydream07

DD has been invited to a party on Sunday(we've know about it a few weeks) and i want her to go as this girl came to DD's party and bought her a gift(think it was about £8 from ELC) but i can't afford to buy this girl a gift and i don't really have anything i could regift to her and if i sent her to the party without a gift i would feel awful so as DD hasn't really mentioned the party i am thinking we just won't take her and send our apologies to the girl but then i'll feel guilty........

also the following weekend it is a good friend's baby christening - i want us to go to the service but not to the reception afterwards as again i would feel that we would have to buy drinks etc and we can't afford it, also feel that i should buy the baby a gift but again that's money so how do i broach this with my friend...........

any advice welcome

today i am having a cleaning up day and doing a bit of batch cooking and baking
making spicy sausage pasties which we will have for tea and the rest will freeze, having those with chips so i've already peeled the spuds and the peelings are in the oven for my lunch.... yum and today is a NSD apart from a small dotation for school for children in need!