Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

UnderPressure

rachbc wrote: »

BTW my bad time were down to my partner being involved in a terrible accident and also my business going belly up not anything to do with loads of dect from overspending and living an extravagent lifestyel, when we spent so much on the children it was all cash no credit and all affordable...........

I can only guess that the bad times might not have been quite so bad if the extravagent, even if affordable at the time, past had been tempered with a little saving too...[/QUOTE]

Not at all we had plenty of savings, in fact we saved around 30% of what we had coming in for the previous 5 years, sadly it only takes 1 terrible accident and savings were eaten into and the when my business failed that was it savings gone there were another 3 small businesses who were big creditors of mine and depended upon me paying what I owed otherwise it would have been their business next to go

Even then there was a shortfall with other business debts of just over 20k all in all believe me nobody can tell me anything about tough times I would not wish my last 2 years on my worst enemy

Still picked myself up brushed myself off sold all sorts of things cars tecnology the contents of my home office along with loads of other stuff and managed to steer clear from bankruptcy just about by the skin of my teeth, left us with nothing literally and since them it has been a very long slow climb back to having our heads above water again just about

To have and to lose is incredibly difficult believe me and to then try and move on is even harder but we puled together and have managed it, I cam from nothing so to have nothing again has not been all that much of a shock but as I have said a few times in this thread now I have learnt some incredibly difficult lessons that I would not change for anything.

Anyhow time to move on I just want to make it clear I was not for one minute saying spedning 50 quid on your children is somehow wrong, I realise I could have worded my previous posts differently so apologies for that of course I realise some people can only afford to spend smaller amounts and of course this is absolutely fine you do what you feel comfortable with, I was simply questioning the people who claim one thing in 1 thread then something else in another thread you know the ones

It is easy to stand in judgement on people and say things such as "oh well an extravagent lifestyle and more in savings would have helped" when in reality you know nothing at all about my situation, I could come here and tell you all my shocking story of the last 2 years, the terrible things that have happened to the love of my life the way we very nearly ended up on the streets and lots of other things that would make your hair curl, I dont because sympathy is something I am not after all I want to do is share my life experience which so far has entailed some amazing highs and also some of the biggest lows you could ever imagine

UnderPressure

gailey wrote: »

Well eldest came home saw apile of clothes and toys from cupboard and asked if I was selling them. she knoews that i sometimes sell old clothes ,toys to fund newstuff and seems happy with that but scary how 4yearold knows me so well!:rotfl:

I was thinking earlier about her dolls house which is currently complete mess think we can decorate it together as little project think she will enjoy it.

My uncle brought my aunt dolls house as he constantly got fed up of her decorating the house.

Well bad news in gailey house.
Hubby got home at 4 no news so I said ring.

hes not got the job:(god knows when they were going to tell him!
Hes been going through process since july and 1st intereveiw.
Nothing else in pipeline.
told him to ring few recruitment agencies next week
start new search although not much happens this close to xmas.
Hes gutted feels hes let family down and really needed the extra money.

I feel gutted for him and done my best not to sit here and cry!
trying to think its fate wasent meant to be we still got lovley family and boy on the way.

we going to have sit down look at finances , see what we can switch and cut.

His mam keeps mentioning iva or dmp.
But dont really wnat to go down that route if we can help it want debt gone sooner than later!

Im going to take bus to blooming santander tommorow and pay off huge chunk of his credit card, hes missed a few payments so min payment shocking 378quid:eek:He has been communicating with them saying hes struggling and paying less than min each month but basically they come back and said they dont care he would need to go cab and set up dmp as hes got other creditors!

want to get all out bills and min payments uptodate before xmas day.
will do my best with xmas on limited budget and hopefully have a nice time.

I wont be able to relax until we sort out where we are and realistic plan of action.

Im sorry to hear about your hubbies new job not happening It is devastating especially when you think there is a good chance of you getting it.

Your idea re the agencies sounds like a good starting point, as has been suggested get yourself over to the debtfreewannabe board, there are some amazing people over there who will help as much as possible in pointing out ways you could save a bit of money and even decrease some of your debts.

The only thing you can really do now is ensure you all enjoy the coming festivities and then make January a new chapter in your lives, sure it is going to be hard over the coming years with cuts here and cuts there what people seem to forget is that even in the harshest recession there is always opportunity in some way or form it is just a case of finding it

Congrats on the baby boy as well, we have 2 girls and a boy I can tell you without a doubt which one is the harder work lol its all good either way a new baby really is an enhoyable time Look forward and concentrate on the future, feel positive about things it makes a huge differnce

kezlou

UnderPressure wrote: »

claiming to feed a family of 2 adults and 3 children as well as all cleaning things and toiletries for 30 quid a week,

em i actually do only spend £30 a week, sometimes even less.
£30 after bills is about all i can afford. So please don't say people are lying about spending that much. I've had many messages sent to me about how i keep it so low and i answer as truthfully and helpfully as i possibly can.

I work incredibly hard to keep within a budget and it is darn near impossible. I'm also cooking and cleaning for 2 adults, 2 children and 2 cats.

If i had more money i would spend more.

This week i've been flashy and sent £10.20 on frsh fruit, veg, meat, soft cheese, milk and bread. Hopefully this might last me the week but i very much doubt it. Oh and last week i spent £15 becuse i went to marks and spencers and got a half price chichen and two packs of fresh sausages,then sainsbugs for veg, fruit cheese, meat and flour. Only today did i run out of essentials. Half of the chiken is still in the feezer now. So yes i do shop at premium places if the price isright

oh and i have never ever made anyone feel bad about sending x amount of money on someone. Nor would i ever choose too, its up each individual person about how they choose / spend live they lives.

Me, i'm poor and i truly admit this christmas is scaring me, i'm quaking in my feet. I'll be more than chuffed if use the money in my paypal account to buy presents for xmas, because at least i know my children will have something to open.

Wish i had £300 each to spend on my kids, but i also think on the hand no because they have loads of toys, not hi tech ones but good quality stuff. BUT the kids who do have pc's etc , and i mean all ages, akwys go back to lego. Over the past ten years i've even had my friends "assisting" i.e playing with my nippers toys.

Actually in terms of "only" £50 what a load of tosh for a child under 8, theres loads. Now for 10 year old theres not a lot.

Please don't take it personallly anything i've written, its just a rantfrom me.


congratulations gailey! Oh (((hugs))) to your OH
mama67 fantastic news my darling!!!

WEll been to physio and it was awful, everyone was looking at me because they could hear my knee grinding while i was attmpting to use the cycling machine. Apparently it was so bad i'm now not allowed to do physio for another 10 days. ah well saves me walking in the cold:o.

Missed the postie today, so have pop down to the sorting office, one pressie down, courtesy of ebay;).

Tomorrow going to hunting in the charity shops for some more pressies for little ones.

NualaBuala

Hugs Gailey, am sorry to hear about the job. That's good advice from Jackie - I'm sure the folks on Debt Free Wannabe can help you get on top of the debt and make the most of the money you've got.

Not sure if you've commented already on this but would you consider using Weezl's cheap family recipes planner which feeds a family of 4 for £100 a month? Judging by the feedback on the thread connected with it, the recipes are absolutely delicious as well as being frugal. Edit: The Christmas menu covers the whole of Christmas week including Christmas dinner and only costs £25!

Hope everyone else is ok and hugs to anyone who isn't.

Edit: sorry, dodgy link fixed now

jackieglasgow

Kezlou do either of your boys have Ds's?

parsonswife8

I'm so sorry that your hubby didn't get the job ((((Gailey)))):(

Never mind honey, one door closes and another one opens.:)

kezlou

jackieglasgow wrote: »

Kezlou do either of your boys have Ds's?

no, my partner doesn't agree with them. He didn't like the way his cousin squinted his eyes to read the tiny screen.

We have an old original xbox (not 360)in the front room with games, a dvd player,i have an ipod,a pc in coddy's room and now a laptop which i'm slowly paying my brother back for.

All of the above is shared between the four of us.Were very lucky, as we saved up all last year coddy pc. The xbox is aboout 7+ years old. The ipod i got about five year old, same as dvd player.

So yep were all old school here, our tv is 15 + years old, and is fourth hand :rotfl:Hey i'm not complaioning it works treat!!!

Actually reading back it sounds a lot:o

rosieben

UnderPressure wrote: »

... same as the grocery people that claim to spend 30 quid and look down on people that sepnd more then in another thread proudly tell everyone they would never eat budget food and only shop at premuim stores!!!!!!!! ...

I have to take issue with this point, I'm very active on the GC threads as I have been for several years and there is no competition, no looking down on each other, no bragging; there is support and advice and sympathy whenever they're needed.

I don't care and I don't think its any of my business, what a parent spends on their children for christmas, regardless of whether I know everything or nothing about their circumstances, it is still no one else's business.

If, as you claim, you are annoyed by certain people on the forum 'lying', then the answer surely is to use the 'ignore button'

eta -I'm a little mystified as to why you think you should be able to come on a forum and accuse people of lying, and not get any comments about it ????

anguk

the_cat wrote: »

It does depend on the age of your children. I have in the past spent less/bought from boot sales and charity shops for my kids but being realistic, the sort of things that they want.... trendy clothes,games consoles and new release games etc are not available from those sources. I buy extras from ebay or bootsales etc where I can still and my kids are grateful for everything they get

I agree with this, £50 for a young child can go far but £50 for a 15/16/17yr old doesn't buy much. My DD has just turned 17, she worked very hard for her GCSEs and is now doing her A levels, she's a very sensible girl who knows money is tight and very rarely asks for anything, she uses her EMA to buy clothes, toiletries etc. At Christmas I do like to treat her but most things are bought in sales or when they're on special offer.

I think it also makes a difference if you have a large extended family who give money or gifts. My DD doesn't have any Grandparents and only gets a small gift from her aunt & uncle (we have an agreed arrangement where we only spend a little on nieces & nephews as it can become very expensive). Some parents may only spend a small amount themselves but the kids still end up with lots of gifts or money from the extended family.

kezlou

NualaBuala wrote: »

Not sure if you've commented already on this but would you consider using Weezl's cheap family recipes planner which feeds a family of 4 for £100 a month? Judging by the feedback on the thread connected with it, the recipes are absolutely delicious as well as being frugal. Edit: The Christmas menu covers the whole of Christmas week including Christmas dinner and only costs £25!

Hope everyone else is ok and hugs to anyone who isn't.

Oh i can vouch for yule log, its lush!!
So is the pasta armatics, paasta carbonara (we eat this all the time here),porridge is lush and very filling, as is the carrot cake.
The waffles, pancakes are really nice warm breakfasts suppers too

So yes the meal planner / recipes work really well and most of the recipes are lovely. were having the croatian potato salad tonight.
The main problem i had, which i actaully posted about on weezls thread was how to use the pate etc in school pack lunches. So in the end i adapted the planner to our needs. But still it worked really well.