Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

rachbc

I do kind of get what you are saying UP - there a implicit crticism of people who do spent more on their kids that makes me feel a little uncomfortable - that we are spoiling them, makign up for lack of time with material possessions, buying their affection, buying consoles to keep them quiet so we don't have to interact with them (all comments I have read on this thread) and I do find this offensive becuase its judging me without knowing anything about me or how my family operates!

Having said that just like I don;t think its right for them to jusge me I certainly don't think its mean or selfish to only spend £50 even if you can afford more

kidcat

Gailey you are so right about secondary school being worse and thats why I have made the choice to spend more on the two eldest now, so that when the other two are at secondary school they can have it then instead of buying endless toys to clutter the plcae up and gather dust.

Attended another college open evening last night - and am now very worried, if DD chooses that one, I wll have to find £300 per term in bus fares, and she will leave the house at 7.30am every morning and will not be back until 6.00pm each day. Then she would need to put in a minimum 20hrs extra study a week, which effectively means she would not be able to take on a weekend job. There are then foreign trips for each of the courses that she is expected to attend each year. How I will fund these I do not know. She really likes the idea of being with all her friends though and they are all signed up to this college. To me it seems so much like school and not enough of a step between school and uni. And i had hoped that she would have more time off than she currently has, but this seems to be worse not better.

I dont want to seem to push her one way or the other though, as I believe its important she makes this decision herself.

jackieglasgow

She admitted that herself Frugal.

I don't think anyone criticising what anyone else says will help keep the thread on track. That's not aimed at anyone in particular. People feel defensive about what they spend, and whilst I won't really be saying how much I have or haven't spent, I would say that everyone has the right to do as they wish. Be that spend a fiver or five hundred, we are meant to be supporting each other through times getting tougher, which means telling the people who haven't much to spend that they should be comfortable with what they do spend, and those who spend hundreds should also be praised for doing what they are comfortable with. I can kind of see it from all sides, and I do also agree that on the forum as a whole - although not necessarily this thread tbh, there are quite a few posters, as there have been in previous years who seem to enjoy the attention that claiming they spend 2 and 6 and a tangerine on their kids at Christmas, brings!!

Fruball

jackieglasgow wrote: »

She admitted that herself Frugal.

It took me longer to write my post... when i wrote that, she hadn't posted

Rosanna79

Not exactly playing Devil's Advocate here but isn't one of the best gifts the next generation can learn in these austere times, the ability to have a healthy disregard for what others think?

As my mother used to say , if you're never in the fashion,( keeping up with the Jones) you're never out of it!

littleowl

UnderPressure wrote: »

Hello

I agree with you completely re-reading my post I can see it could come across the wrong way I will try to elaborate.....................




The thing that has annoyed me and frequently annoys me on these boards in then the barage of people who come along after saying oh well I only spend 50 quid and thats more than enough, I dont know where these people shop but even in the cheapest of shops 50 quid buys nowt let alone any of the presents that kids today desire, it is as though it is some sort of competition and you get a ficticious prize for spending the least,




AGAIN dont get me wrong I underatand some people can only afford to spend 50 quid on their kids thats fine you do your best as well all do, I am venting at the peopl who as far as I am concerned are plain lying for what reason I have no idea, it is easy to view peoples other posts on this forum some posters seem to forget that..........................................

lainly lie for whatever reason that you dont!

_____________________________________________________________________


I am sorry but I don't think you agree with me at all! If I had small children now I certainly would not spend any more than £50. Whether I could afford to or not is not in question I simply would not. I do not believe buying things is the way to happiness and I would certainly not want my children to feel that they were joining in some sort on one-upmanship game with their friends. Perhaps it is the parents who need that sort of satisfaction rather then the child.

UnderPressure

Frugal wrote: »

End paragraph is interesting... in contrast to the recent post, this older one from the same poster says it is all "irrelevant"

Going back over some old posts... noticed that it was 'underpressure' who used to spend 1k on gifts at christmas per child!

EXACTLY you have hit the nail on the head this is the post I was kind of following on from, again I dont think I have put my point across properly so apologies I am not saying everyone should go out and get themselves into debt so their little ones can have ipod xboxes and ps3 coming out of the ears not at all I am saying that some people saying they only spend 50 quid are being totally unrealistic, I also mentioned in that thread that whilst we had the "good times" we used to spend 1k on each child at christmas and also went on to say what a big waste it was as well as saying I would not change any of the bad times we have been through over the last couple of years for anything as it has brought a new focus to our lives.

I am simply questioning the people who proudly say they spend 50 quid then go on to tell us their kids have 3 of everyting, same as the grocery people that claim to spend 30 quid and look down on people that sepnd more then in another thread proudly tell everyone they would never eat budget food and only shop at premuim stores!!!!!!!!

Not the best comparison I know I am questioning the people who say they only spend 50 quid as to whether or not they are actually telling the truth as though they think it more "acceptable" to only spend 50 quid.

CRIKEY NOBODY PLEASE put yourself into loads of debt over something like christmas DONT DO IT!! We all spend what we can afford simple as I am simply questioning the truthfulness of some peoples answers.....................

BTW my bad time were down to my partner being involved in a terrible accident and also my business going belly up not anything to do with loads of dect from overspending and living an extravagent lifestyel, when we spent so much on the children it was all cash no credit and all affordable...........

UnderPressure

Oh BTW just to stop me getting a complex

She is actually a HE :eek:

jackieglasgow

You're joking!!! Sorry

rachbc

BTW my bad time were down to my partner being involved in a terrible accident and also my business going belly up not anything to do with loads of dect from overspending and living an extravagent lifestyel, when we spent so much on the children it was all cash no credit and all affordable...........[/QUOTE]

I can only guess that the bad times might not have been quite so bad if the extravagent, even if affordable at the time, past had been tempered with a little saving too...