Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

grandma247

dollydaydream07 wrote: »

so i think i am sorted now, just need to find something for our baby niece and to figure out how i can incorporate the glasses i fou8nd into my presents!!

you can put chocolates in the glasses and wrap in nice paper or fabric.

mama67

seasalt wrote: »

Surely, surely I can't be the only one whose teenage children (age15) don't as a rule get anything like that amount of money for their Christmas or birthdays. We are giving ours £50 each (ditto DD1 and am making DGS a quilt) and will spend roughly another £20 each on bits and pieces. They will add our dosh to what they get from grandparents, aunts and uncles etc and DD will probably end up with a sizeable chunk towards the iP*d nan* she wants but will have to make up the difference from her earnings. DS is saving up for a decent fiddle so that's where most of his money will go. Yes it would be lovely to be able to spend a bit more but neither of them have complained it is too little - in fact, they have quite enjoyed working out what they want to put their money towards and how far they can stretch it!

We are the same the boys (15 & 12) get £50 each which can be in the form of a gift if they like plus some "stocking fillers" which usually is another £20/£30.

They also get cash from most of the relatives who give them presents, so can end up with approx £100 in cash if we give full £50.

This year DS1 wants a specific jacket which is more than the £50 but he will add in from his other sources. DS2 wants an ipod shuffle and will get the difference as cash.

It is the same for their birthdays they have £50 each from us and then cash from relatives.

We do treat them during the year, maybe buying a game for the Wii or PC or a DVD they would like but most things like that they save up for and buy themselves.

gailey_2

ahh feeling bit emotional had row with hubby over money this afternoon.

Since I got tax rebate have tried to pay off debts and outstanding bills ect.

last week spent 95pounds on new curtains and pole we needed.

150on food.

100class fees for both kids for term.

spent over 50pounds on school dinners.

paid one joint debt.

managed to buy girls a few things they needed ie clothes.

paid 22pounds in fireworks.

55bankcharges.

It all added up I still have to pay 2more bills myself 120phone bill and 75credit card.
I thourght by me funding the food meant that hubby who gets paid on 15th would have extra money as we wouldent have to buy as much food.

But hes stressed as his creditcard company are being awful and he needs to pay more this month so asked if he can have some money.
All I said was can we sit down look at your account today work out where you are what charges , bills and extra costs this month then I ill see what I can manage and he felt I was being tight!

It annoys me he has interent banking and doesnt keep better track of his finances.
I feel better knowing wher we are and I been honest about my bills and outgoings not treated myself to anything with tax money.

I know hes seeing son sunday and has to pay maintainance but then I asked if he was giving his mam x box money he said no hes buying it himself.
Now she says they about 100quid 2nd hand but he has no idea or researched x box costs leaves everything to last minute so get frustrated!

we havent brought our eldest daughter anything yet which is in back of my mind and only spending 50on her the youngest got few 2nd hand bits so not as worried.

He apoligised I said im trying my best to help out with family finances and fund anything for kids myself as he covers rent,bills and food.
I just worry so much moenys always in back of my mind have alist of things we need but cant afford!

Maybe its just stress of job thats making him snappy.
its not looking hopeful would expect to hear by 5pm.

Margaret54

ach gailey love I am sending you a big hug today, and hope things get better for you. Congratulations on your wee boy, so pleased for you. I have 5 boys and one girl:) All adults now:)
Take care of yourself. I think you are a lovely person who works so hard and does so much for her family.xx

Margaret54

Just had a phonecall from ds5 He moved out some time ago and is in a wee flat. He said he was shopping for a few things for it, and said he had bought a blind for 12.99 for dining room and two lovely photo frames from B&M in town and a throw from a charity shop and he is well pleased. He is 25 and had been given some stuff for his place and has searched charity shops etc. for bargains. He is even saving his small change and putting into the bank. He used to leave lights on all over the place t.v not unplugged wasted money frittering it away on daft stuff. Now he is os and frugal and is enjoying all his bargains and all he needs is a job now so looks hard every day for one. Lovely to see the changes in him for the better.:) He even said we are so similar Mum with our bargain hunting aren't we? lol

Nicoll

anguk wrote: »

I always keep my soap in the airing cupboard and it's true it does last longer. I'm a bit fussy and have sensitive skin so I only ever buy purenuffstuff soap and you have to keep it dry otherwise it melts away, so I pop the soapdish in the bathroom airing cupboard after I've used it.

What a good idea, ours is always yukky and soggy in dish, DH insists on Imperial Leather. Going to put in airing cupboard overnight and see what happens.

Yet another good idea I've picked up on here :T

UnderPressure

I am feeling a bit low and pi£%ed off today and really tired for some reason, had a banging headache all day just cant shift it of course that makes me feel even more grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I hate the run up to christmas much prefer it when it is december 24th and I tell myself "right time to enjoy it now", they way we have planned it this years is we are not startign to buy and presents for the children untul the first week in december the money is in place to do it then but still feel a little anxious it is all different this year fo us usually we are wll on the way with the presents by now oh well Im sure all will be fine.

I do admire the people who only spend 50 quid on their kids must be hard to do especially when all the "normal" presents cost so much more such as bikes and games consoles etc etc etc I would worry about it having a negative imapct on mine at school I mean going back to when I was a kid a bike was a normal kind of christmas present even then so nowadays it is even more "normal" and 50 quid doesnt buy much nowadays does it?? Peer pressure amognst children is also unreal nowadays it is something as a responsible parent you have to protect them from it can make a child deeply unhappy.

I still think 50 quid is far too low even throwing £2 a week in a jar would result in £100 but hey I am not criticising you and dont expect you to criticise me fore spending more, I do think though sometimes on these forums some people spoyt a load of nonsense almost like it is a competition to see who can spend the least on groceries ir in this case spend the least on their children at christmas it all turns a bit pathetic really, of course I understand that some people genuinely cannot afford to spend more but there is a portion of people that are just plain tight fisted and rather than thinking to themselves "well I never got much as a kid so I want things to be a little better for my kids" I cannot understnad why people would not want a "better" life for their own kids than they had? Its all well and good then turning round and saying oh well it never did me any harm but chances are you are all to easily forgetting just how you felt when on Christmas morning you got token gifts only to go outside and see little Johnny from down the road riding around on a shiny new bike.

I personally cannot understand anyone who would only want to achieve second best for their own children, I appreciate in these hard time it can be extremely difficult belive me nobody need tell me that but there is a big difference between a lean streamlined christmas and a dam right miserly one!

I have my tin hat ready for the barage of comments to come

mustbemad68

Our boiler has died and wil cost £100's to fix:( It looks like we would be better replacing it.
My parents have offered to pay for a new one for us as we would need to take out a loan/overdraft to pay for one but I really don't want to do this. I have said I would rather pay it back to them but they are insisiting that it is a gift (they can afford it) and don't want it back as I will get it eventually anyway!
Do other people find it hard to accept a lovely gift like this that has no emotional strings attached at all?

alec_eiffel

UnderPressure wrote: »

I am feeling a bit low and pi£%ed off today and really tired for some reason, had a banging headache all day just cant shift it of course that makes me feel even more grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I hate the run up to christmas much prefer it when it is december 24th and I tell myself "right time to enjoy it now", they way we have planned it this years is we are not starting to buy and presents for the children untul the first week in december the money is in place to do it then but still feel a little anxious it is all different this year fo us usually we are wll on the way with the presents by now oh well Im sure all will be fine.

I do admire the people who only spend 50 quid on their kids must be hard to do especially when all the "normal" presents cost so much more such as bikes and games consoles etc etc etc I would worry about it having a negative imapct on mine at school I mean going back to when I was a kid a bike was a normal kind of christmas present even then so nowadays it is even more "normal" and 50 quid doesnt buy much nowadays does it?? Peer pressure amognst children is also unreal nowadays it is something as a responsible parent you have to protect them from it can make a child deeply unhappy.

I still think 50 quid is far too low even throwing £2 a week in a jar would result in £100 but hey I am not criticising you and dont expect you to criticise me fore spending more, I do think though sometimes on these forums some people spoyt a load of nonsense almost like it is a competition to see who can spend the least on groceries ir in this case spend the least on their children at christmas it all turns a bit pathetic really, of course I understand that some people genuinely cannot afford to spend more but there is a portion of people that are just plain tight fisted and rather than thinking to themselves "well I never got much as a kid so I want things to be a little better for my kids" I cannot understnad why people would not want a "better" life for their own kids than they had? Its all well and good then turning round and saying oh well it never did me any harm but chances are you are all to easily forgetting just how you felt when on Christmas morning you got token gifts only to go outside and see little Johnny from down the road riding around on a shiny new bike.

I personally cannot understand anyone who would only want to achieve second best for their own children, I appreciate in these hard time it can be extremely difficult belive me nobody need tell me that but there is a big difference between a lean streamlined christmas and a dam right miserly one!

I have my tin hat ready for the barage of comments to come

I think the thing is that lots of people just think that not keeping up with the Jones' isn't giving children second best. And that it's not the material stuff that makes people happy. It's not about not wanting children to have a better life, maybe some people see a better life as being a sound financial grounding, spending less than you earn and that relationships not things make you happy.

No-one here is going to have a go at anyone else for spending any amount on their family - I personally couldn't care less if you spend a million quid on presents. What I do care about is people worrying how to make ends meet and potentially going into debt over things that just don't matter.

littleowl

UnderPressure wrote: »

I am feeling a bit low and pi£%ed off today and really tired for some reason, had a banging headache all day just cant shift it of course that makes me feel even more grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I hate the run up to christmas much prefer it when it is december 24th and I tell myself "right time to enjoy it now", they way we have planned it this years is we are not startign to buy and presents for the children untul the first week in december the money is in place to do it then but still feel a little anxious it is all different this year fo us usually we are wll on the way with the presents by now oh well Im sure all will be fine.

I do admire the people who only spend 50 quid on their kids must be hard to do especially when all the "normal" presents cost so much more such as bikes and games consoles etc etc etc I would worry about it having a negative imapct on mine at school I mean going back to when I was a kid a bike was a normal kind of christmas present even then so nowadays it is even more "normal" and 50 quid doesnt buy much nowadays does it?? Peer pressure amognst children is also unreal nowadays it is something as a responsible parent you have to protect them from it can make a child deeply unhappy.

I still think 50 quid is far too low even throwing £2 a week in a jar would result in £100 but hey I am not criticising you and dont expect you to criticise me fore spending more, I do think though sometimes on these forums some people spoyt a load of nonsense almost like it is a competition to see who can spend the least on groceries ir in this case spend the least on their children at christmas it all turns a bit pathetic really, of course I understand that some people genuinely cannot afford to spend more but there is a portion of people that are just plain tight fisted and rather than thinking to themselves "well I never got much as a kid so I want things to be a little better for my kids" I cannot understnad why people would not want a "better" life for their own kids than they had? Its all well and good then turning round and saying oh well it never did me any harm but chances are you are all to easily forgetting just how you felt when on Christmas morning you got token gifts only to go outside and see little Johnny from down the road riding around on a shiny new bike.

I personally cannot understand anyone who would only want to achieve second best for their own children, I appreciate in these hard time it can be extremely difficult belive me nobody need tell me that but there is a big difference between a lean streamlined christmas and a dam right miserly one!

I have my tin hat ready for the barage of comments to come

First of all yes, I do thinks spending a lot on children at Christmas is not necessary. I am certainly not saying other people should not do exactly as they want and spend whatever they like. However, why is Christmas present buying such a big thing? I think it has become out of proportion. Isn't Christmas a time for giving and enjoying a family holiday? Surely it isn't necessary to spend huge amounts of money to do that. I really do believe that there is something inherently wrong with a society in which parents feel pressured - by themselves, the Jones' or whatever - to buy the shiniest, most expensive status symbol possible. Whether you are a Christian or not (I am not) Christmas is still a time of year celebrating an historical event, not a reason to get into debt over material possessions.

It did not occur to me to envy what someone else had for Christmas when I was a child and I know it did not later occur to my children either. There is far too much envy in this world and I think much of it stems from insecurity. If you are happy as you are and content in yourself it doesn't matter a damn what other people have.