Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

Lindy_-_Loo

Havent read all the pages from yesterday but just doing bits of the online shopping for this month and have some vouchers for sainsbury. Until 24th november baby wipes and toiletries are half price, couldnt find value wipes but value bubble bath is 5p a bottle!

Gailey im guessing its a boy - congrats and sorry your hubby didnt get job

Hope everyone ok - if not take care of you xx

MrsBartolozzi

NualaBuala wrote: »

Not sure if you've commented already on this but would you consider using Weezl's cheap family recipes planner which feeds a family of 4 for £100 a month? Judging by the feedback on the thread connected with it, the recipes are absolutely delicious as well as being frugal. Edit: The Christmas menu covers the whole of Christmas week including Christmas dinner and only costs £25!

Hope everyone else is ok and hugs to anyone who isn't.

Don't know if it's what you intended, but your link takes me to a survey page rather than Weezl's family recipes???

NualaBuala

MrsBartolozzi wrote: »

Don't know if it's what you intended, but your link takes me to a survey page rather than Weezl's family recipes???

Oops, no thanks - I'll go and fix it! No idea how that happened! Times like this I could do with a confused smiley.

seasalt_2

()s gailey. Sorry hubby didn't get the job after all this time. I do believe there will be something else round the corner. I tell myself that that when one door closes, another opens, so have faith.

Well, as it was me that first asked if I was the only one whose teenagers didn't get that much money spent on them, I feel I have to defend myself. There had been a couple of other posts after UP's also mentioning larger amounts and tbh I was reeling at the thought of spending even £300, still less £1000, not because I am a cheapskate but because it would be out of the question. I was not meaning to criticise, more looking for some support. And to those that replied, thankyou. You did make me feel better. £50 is what we decided we could afford and, as Anguk says (and as i said in my op) they will get probably the same again between their other relatives, if not a bit more and DD will get her nan0 ip0d even if she has to make up the difference out of her earnings. We have also in the past, bought eg a pool table and a wonderful box of sylvan1an families from eBay as it made our money go further - this is the "thrift" board after all. Yes, I would like to get them a netbook each (we have a family desktop and I have a laptop that they can also use) and I did note the reconditioned samsung idea as something to explore in the future so thankyou. But what really upset me were the comments about exposing our children to peer pressure, as if it is cruelty/neglect, and the accusation about lying. Yes, peer pressure can be tough, especially as a teenager when your peers are all important - and we have had discussions about this although, interestingly, to do with behaviour rather than things. I see my job as supporting them and yes there have been times where we have agreed to something we might not have chosen so as not to make them feel left out. As for lying, I don't know where that comes from. Anyway, that's my twopence worth and now that I have calmed down I am going to go back and read the last couple of pages properly.

Hippeechiq

rosieben wrote: »

I have to take issue with this point, I'm very active on the GC threads as I have been for several years and there is no competition, no looking down on each other, no bragging; there is support and advice and sympathy whenever they're needed.

I don't care and I don't think its any of my business, what a parent spends on their children for christmas, regardless of whether I know everything or nothing about their circumstances, it is still no one else's business.

If, as you claim, you are annoyed by certain people on the forum 'lying', then the answer surely is to use the 'ignore button'

eta -I'm a little mystified as to why you think you should be able to come on a forum and accuse people of lying, and not get any comments about it ????

Very well said Rosie :T

Gailey So sorry to hear OH didn't get the job hun, but thrilled for you about having a baby boy - how exciting :j

UnderPressure

gailey wrote: »

kezlou wrote: »

underpressure hope you dont mind me asking,

seems like you had rough time of it.

when going through your money troubles did you do iva or dmp as you said you avoided bankrupcy?
Do you still have any debts or buy stuff on credit?
have you saved all year for xmas to fund presents/food/misc costs?

Do you own your own home and have much of a morgage
Do you and your partner both work?

I only ask you mentioned 300budget for each child compared to 1000! But thats 900quid just on kids.:eek:

Do you have many other family members to buy for.

Plus food costs You spend over grand on xmas and lots on here couldent possibly spend that much because they cant more so than choose. Choice is something people have when they have money.

Hello

I looked at both IVA and DMP my problem is most in fact 90% of the debt I had was from a sole trader business and was business to business debt so it would have been really tricky to use the IVA or DMP for this, I even looked into a DRO which at the time would have worked out well but it would have meant me being directly responsible for at least 2 other small local businesses going under as a result of this, I had a very very emotional depressing time for a good few months ended up on some anti depressants from the doctor and could literally see our life slipping away from me, it was one of the worst thing I have ever been through, then to top it all off my fantastic partner had a huge accident and was terribly injured we nearly lost her even now I sit here typing this and could easily burst into tears just at the thought of everything we have been through, it has left some huge emotional scars that are going to take many many years to get over.

I was dealing with some huge numbers that ultimately with no question I was responsible for, we moved to the middle of nowhere in a beautiful part of south west wales about 7 years ago from a huge town up north, the primary reason for the move was our eldest at the time was just coming upto school age and we did not want her to go to school where we were living so we decided to live the dream and off we moved. I have no regrets to this day I still say it was the best thing we ever did and it was, we rented a house and were saving for a deposit to buy, we had around 35k savings at one point but then disaster...........................

I paid for some private treatment for my partner that at the time made a hige difference to her quality of life then when the business failed the remaining 25k I immediately split between my creditors, I could not bare the though of others going through what we were as a result of me owing them money, saldy this left a shortfall of just over 20k, some creditors were great the smaller ones were superb sadly the bank and a coupl of other bigger creditors were not so understanding and commenced county court proceedings, it all spiralled out of control in a big way having to live like prisoners in our home dealing with bailiffs on an almost daily basis it was around this time I found this forum and the wonderful people here I sold literally everything cars, any technology I had stripped my garage and office got rid of the lot all to pay these debts offf, I realised until they were paid off there was no hope of moving forward and starting to recover both financially and emotionally, this generated aroun 15kk and bought me a little time, then I did what I am best at borrowed my partners laptop and started churning out websites for local businesses, websites 2 years earlier I would have charged 2 years earlier 500 - 1k for and at that time they were all done for under 200 pounds with a 12 month hosting contract, I was concentrating on quantity, it was dam hard work I would start at 6am and still be tinkering away at 2 in the morning some nights but in the end it paid off, every single peeny I earnt went straight to the people I owed money to and in the end it was done.

My credit took a huge hit, I have at the last count an absolute string of defaults, 8 CCJ's now all settled but still there and no bank account, no mobile phone, no BT landline or internet I was working with a pay as you go mobile broadband dongle, we spent most of last winter with no heating as we are rural and have oil fired central heating and just could not afford to buy oil, I got into a mess with the rent luckily my landlord could see what was happening to us and hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh without him I really dont think I would still be here now to tell this tale, he has been absolutely fantastic he really has, at one stage we owed him a good few thousand pounds which was paid off on arrangement with no pressure, he gave me the breathing space I so desperately needed and to be perfectly honest he restored my faith in human nature again he really did.

It is only now as said before we are again with our heads above water, it would have been the easiest thing in the world for me to do to go for a DRO (we could not have anyway because debts were over 15k) or even easier bankruptcy I just could not do it, if it had been all credit card debt etc then maybe but as said it would have resulted in dragging others down with me which would not have been fair.

I sacrificed literally everything to get back on track I am glad I did now I really am it made me realise the things in life that are important.

My partner is still suffering but there is light at the end of the tunnel next year she should be having 1 last op and fingers crossed she should be back to normal then, I hid a lot of the problems from her at the time she has always been such a wonderful partner and mother it did not seem fair the situation we were in to lumber her with the worry, I am glad I did now especially with her accident it was a shock for her though when the first bailiff came luckily for us I am very strong minded and at the time did not appreciate my creditors involving bailiffs especially when they could see I was doing everything I could to resolve the situation, so I tol the first one where to go in no uncertain terms! A side of me that is not shown very often at all I then rang the creditor and told them if they did not call the bailiffs off I would be going for bankruptcy they seemed to take this on board, it did not stop other bailiffs coming though, uhhhhhhhh the nightmares living in what became a locked fortress with gates all padlocked and sat in my office staring out of the windown all day every day waiting for the next one to come it was awful it really was.

I ended up on anti depressants walking round like a zoombie most of the time, I went onto Incapacity Benefit for a short time that too was a nightmare I did honestly have some very very dark thoughts at that time it was the situation my partner was in and of course my 3 wonderful children that kept me alive it really was.

Anyhow quite some time on we come out of the "dark days" back to something that resembles normality but also completely new and different at the same time, a new appreciation of money and material things a new appreciation of life..................................

I dont bother with my family for a string of reasons I have 2 brothers that I have not spoke 1 word to in over 15 years now, my mum is still a big part of my life but that is about it really so it is only really us that buys for our children no extended family presents or anything like that and the same the other way we dont buy for anyone else apart from our children and mine and my partners parents.

I work dam hard for the very little we now have nothing has ever been given to me nto 1 single thing and I come from a 1 parent family as well my mum bless her cotton socks struggled for years to bring me and my 2 brothers up with hardly anything at all, she did her best and I wll always be grateful to her.

I am starting a degree in February to try and ensure a better more stable future for us it is going to take 4 years but with a bit of luck it could be the ticket to a completely different life even then I will never ever ever forget what we have been through.

I belive the one thing that kept me going was remaining positive even on the worst days I had to believe it would get better and eventually it did.

Now I am starting from fresh, terrible credit records but have managed to get a credit card of Vanquis so again 1 step at a time at least now all my credit is settled and vanquis are reporting little green o's every month on my file, in 6 years when the ccj's have dropped off I will have my degree and hopefully 2 years worth of "professional" employment, so I remain hopeful 1 day I can buy a home of our own. Grand total of £0 savings at the moment this is something I am going to turn my efforts towards next year. There was a time when money was no object this is the life my kids are used to so it has been quite a shock to them as well over the last couple of years as said before they used to be spoilt rotten 300 pounds each is about 1 third of what they used to get they are only young and have no idea what we have been through, I dont think kids should have to worry about parent financial problems they are kids a relative short amount of time and have the rest of their lives to worry about such things.

ENough rambling from me I do hope your hubby gets something sorted soon

katholicos

UP, it does seem that you and your family have experienced some very difficult times, much like many of us in here, who in our own ways, have also experienced great personal difficulties. I don't think you intentionally rubbed anyone up the wrong way with any of your comments, but alas, they may have been interpretted in that way...words on the screen have no intonation so they can easily be misinterpretted.

Having said that, i do believe that you speak from having a privilidged life in years gone by and so perhaps you can not identify too easily with those of us who genuinely do feed our families for less then £30 a week.

What i would say to you is that it is not only possible, but also can be quite fulfilling to take considerable care as to how each pound/penny is spent. It isn't about being miserly, even when frugallity is borne out of necessity, it can be embraced without bitterness. It can be challenging to live on an extremely low income consistantly, year in year out, but challenges aren't always the terrible things we may first envisage them to be.

About your spending on your children and your derision (may not have been intended, but it read that way, sorry) for children having £50 or less spent on their Christmas presents...I would say to you that it is perhaps easier to throw money at a child and believe that the amount of money given must surely equate to how much you love your children...but nothing could be further from the truth. Teaching children important life lessons about the responsibilities entailed in being/raising a family is no bad thing. Educating children about the cost of living and the family budget can hugely benefit our children and impact them positively, teaching them important life skills on how they can learn to become financially responsible both as children ( getting them involved in earning pocket money for chores and saving for what they want, not need), and prepare them for dealing with their financial situation as they enter adulthood.

starsandmoon

Talking of how much we spend on our children at Xmas, I have a budget of £100 max for my daughter. May not spend that much on her I have shopped around and got some good offers for the things she wanted. Luckily she isnt into Xboxes etc. Can be difficult not spending a fortune though as a DS game can be £25 plus and they dont look anything wrapped up.

Wont find out about the job cuts in work until next month. Got a series of briefing meetings for staff where they tell us whats going on. Going to concentrate on having a nice Xmas and see what New Year brings. Step dad is being made redundant after Xmas and he's in his late 50's so may struggle for a job. Luckily they have no mortgage or debts.

It does be come wearing always shopping around for food bargains and worrying if you buy a magazine/coffee. I dithered for ages before I bought one glossy mag that a free nail polish in a colour I would wear a lot. It was £2 for gods sake.

Have been OS in the kitchen this week though, rubber chicken and a casserole done in the slowcooker and taken dinner into work every day. Shame Ive drunk all the wine Ive bought for Xmas though which isnt very OS at all :rotfl:(not all at once)

charlies-aunt

Christmas presents .. I've already said that I spend up to £200 each on my DD's - usually includes one main present, stocking fillers, smellies, slippers and sweeties...which is less than some and more than others.

But as pet owners, my DD's appreciate that they have the priviledge and pleasure of their pets all year round not just for a couple of days at Christmas - as parents, we have to cover food, bedding, insurance, vaccinations, stabling, riding lessons, vet visits etc. all year round too!

So over the year, DD's get as much spent on them as others that get massive presents just on a couple of special occassions

Horses for courses!

starsandmoon

Charlies-aunt - I want a horse! Jealous. Carnt ride one though and the nearest I get to one is the odd police horse plus have no where to keep one. Will have to make do with the hamster lol.

Got my Tesco vouchers today so need to make them into 4x the value instead of the 3x that starts in Dec. Going to do restaurant vouchers and have a slap up meal with OH. He was well impressed last time, spent £8 on drinks and had steak and starters. Gave him my spare clubcard as he often gets petrol from Tesco. Doesnt get his shopping there though. Last time I got my vouchers I swapped some for restaurant vouchers and did the double up thing and got free shoes!

Have been Thrift Guru in work again. Mentioned that my tea was in the slow cooker. A few were quite interested in this and were most impressed and have gone and got one for themselves:money: