Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

Kitcaboodle

kidcat wrote: »

Kitcaboodle - can you extend your maternity leave with unpaid leave that you can then cancel if your husband does lose his job. Effectively you would be holding your job open a little longer, in fact isnt there some law that allows up to a year of parental leave unpaid? Surely an illness/hospital operation would be enough grounds to prove you needed the extended leave.

Unfortunately I'm already taking advantage of the unpaid extension up to a year. I'm returning a month or so short of that but it would be a nightmare to sort out delaying my return for the sake of a month extra for DH's work to make their minds up.

Might come to that, though I hate to mess work around and keep them wondering if I'll be back or not. I'll be open and honest with them about whether or not I'm likely to be staying as I always am. So I hate not knowing as it makes it difficult to keep them informed. I work with great people and the uncertainty of this will make life difficult for them as well as me.

Oh well, hopefully DH's work will decide (something we want to hear!) in time for me to let work know!

kezlou

Under pressure well done for clearing and working through all that debt, especially with your partners injury.You've done amzingly well!

Gailey wow £15000 that fantastic!!!

RAS , thanks for that, like i say i didn't mean for it to personal i just wanted to show the flipside of life.
I spend a lot of time figuring out where i'm going to shop etc and luckily i have a fantastically amazing butchers near me who does a great deal on fresh mince.

Recently there's been hardly any whoopsies about, so lots of people hae been grabbing them. which is all good, better than it going in the supermarkets bin!

Just wrote a massive post and it bleeding disappered !!!!:mad::mad::mad:

Right better get off and sort more stuff out.

Mrs_Veg_Plot

This site has been busy over the last two days. I have been following the debate on how much people spend in their children with interest. Since they were little our DD's have written to santa with three requests on their list (even if they have been through the Argos catalogue) but they have always been aware that they will not get all of them. I think that it is important that they learn from an early age that it is the thought behind the gift and not the expense that is important. At 14 and 17 they still like to get a stocking and seem to prefer smaller presents than a large one although last year DS2 wanted an i-pod so we told her that if she saved half of the money we would give her the other half for christmas. This also gave her an idea of the true value of the gift. We spend what we can afford without being silly and getting into debt.
This christmas they will be getting less than last year as we do not have as much money but they know this in advance.
My 3 sisters already know that they are getting HM food type gifts this year, will do the same for BIL/SIL. Will spend £15 on nieces and nephews and small number of other family members and £20 on parents but have managed to save this in advance. The hardest person to buy for in my nan whose dementia is now so bad she is in a care home and does not know who we really are but enjoys our visits. I know she does not remeber that you have given her a gift 2 minutes after you have given it to her and spends the rest of your visit asking you if you know where it has come from, but again it is the thought that counts. At the moment she thinks we are old school friends. I'm 42 and she is 86, my skin must look worse that I thought :eek:.

DH came home last night with the news that if no sales come into the company in the next two weeks (which does not look likely) they will be letting him go. You can imagine how that affected the depression he is denying he is suffering from. It does not help that he does not like the job either. I was torn between worrying about our finances if he does loose the job and thinking that he might be better off in himself if he was not dragging himself into a job he dislikes everyday.
The good news today is that he has been head hunted by an old colleague that he has previously worked very well with and they are offering him a job with them as soon as he likes. It was lovely to see him smile about it, it made me realise just hoe little he smiles these days. The plan is to stay where he is until the end of the month (to make sure he gets paid) and then start with the new company at the beginning of December. Down side is that he will be a month without wages over christmas/new year but with a bit of careful planning we will cope with this. The freezer is already full and I will make sure the store cupboards are stocked up.
Have just seen the time :eek:. I'm on an earlystart tomorrow at work so must go snuggle up in bed.

gailey_2

Thank you up hope you dident mind me being bit nosy was just intrigued.

Sounds like you had rough time of it financially and personally but come through other end and staved off bankrupcy through sheer hard work and selling stuff ect.

There was a few things worrying me about your post.

Be careful with vanquis its 39.9%interest rate:eek: im assuming you just paying off balance every month to get credit history better but I know from xmases past how easy it its to bung pressies on credit card intending to pay and 12montsh later balance still there accruing high interest.

Savings-you say thats something to aspire too and get on property ladder again I suggest you could spend less on xmas and put money in savings for future or rainy day as you know you dont know what life throws at you.

future-you say you want to go back to uni, not sure how old 3kids are and if they will want to go but its going to become so much more expensive so maybe a savings account for each of the kids be nice idea.

The kids- you mentioned they go to small rural village primary do they really have that much peer pressure that they be bullied over xmas presents?
You said you emptied shed of all the things they barly played with and felt bad, we all make mistakes and with kids its very easy to indulge as in some ways every parent wants a better life.
You said they have had to adjust to getting less as imagine during the aftermath of business failure thinsg were very tight do you feel your kids live and respect you any less because they get less now?
My gut feeling is no of course not they love you just the same as ever so please bare that in mind when feeling the pressure to spend more than you can afford.

Please prioriterise your essential outgoings as it worries me you went without heating , I grew up rural wales so know how it is and its forcast to be very cold this winter so ensure you all as warm as you can be.

Your landlord sounds like a saint but most landlords wouldent be , even with professional debt advice they say ensure roof over your head, food and heating.Im not sure I would be comfortable with such arrears and would make serious cutbacks until thats cleared which may mean reduced budget this year for xmas for everyone.
Not sure how much you inarrears still but could you pay off all or huge chunk of it if you say spent 50-100pounds each child this xmas.

would be great to clear a debt and think its harder when you owe money to people you owe and see frequently than an institution.
I owe my dad 50quid and feel guilty but hes been cool its me who worries.

Also one final point yes I agree its best to maybe not cry about money or be overdramtic infront of kids ie saying ahh bailiffs will take it away soon that kind of things. But explaining how finance works and some of the story to your kids will help them maybe making same mistakes and probably they will respect how hard you have worked for teh sake of your family.

I think the kids being aware of the family finances is different to worrying about them if that makes sense. I think pocket money, explaining how we keep to budgets ie grocery challange and xmas can be valuable lesson as its teaches them some valuable skills for independat living ist not being cruel to expose them to financial details.

Im sure if you asked them they would rather both parents happy and well ,time spend than materialistic gifts and you having tow ork yourself into ground to give them all you feel they should have!
My dad made that mistake in 1990,s marriage split up he did an iva ect!

Sorry if sounds like im being overly critical its just you doing so well its keeping the momentum going.

Thanks for wishes of good luck.
Hubbys understandably bitterly dissapointed about job .

I we need to make further cutbacks and get tighter grip on the budget we doing so well with grocery challange last few months but everythings rising.

realistically we not making any rash decisoons until jan.
wrong time to be job hunting unless he wants to be santa next month!

we going to try switch few things next week insurance and energy see if any savings there.

will be very cautious this month on food as will be spending extra next month.

Thankyou kezlou cant wait to update sig to actual running total.
Unfortunatly with interest and charges plus hubbyd id some respending on his ccs the balance has not reduced that much but heading in right direction I suppose.
vcant wait until its clear as then we can save 15grand a year and maybe even buy house one day.

want the debt shifted as fast as possible.
As soons as babys 6months going to try looking for p/t work again.

I wish we had been frivilous and got into debt as maybe then we have few things of value to sell and help shift debts but we have verry little of any value most of our furnituires 2nd hand/donated.
bedroom furnitures falling apart.
kids furniture is cheap.
only thing of value I guess we have is tv, sofa,dining table all essentials . we have a wii but wouldent get much for it 2nd hand and use it for fitness as cant get to gym and eldest loves it.

i did sell off most of my nice expensive prams and just have cheap 3wheeler and sroller for now until we can afford a double.
clothes wise me and hubby rarly buy for ourselves or go out.
kids I get mostly 2nd hand clothes or supermarket brands.

Stars and moon you sound like me if its ion house we eat and drink it. well done on doing so much.

The day ran away with me again today although had so many worries and distractions I struggled to achive what i aimed to.
oh well tommorows another day hopefully we will feel bit brighter then.

Need to take bus into city centre as blooming santander only 2branches in entire city and need to pay some money off hubbys cc as know its stressing him out!

Ches

katiegizmo wrote: »

I'm still ploughing through this thread catching up - page 86 now no less!

I just wanted to come on and have a really quick moan, well a rant really!!! why does my office insist on doing secret santa??? Am I a scrooge? I hate being told to buy an extra present - I don't want one for myself from someone else, I just want to keep my money for myself! A couple of years ago I refused to do it as I was in the process of moving house and was stressed and no money - wasn't buying for my family so I refused to buy for others -, and I had a complaint made against me! said I was not a team player so I don't dare refuse again as I was made to feel awful! GRRRRR!!!! not much money, I prob can spare it I just don't want to GRRRR!!!!!

I read this thread every day but have never posted on here before. Had to comment on this post though as in my last job (before I retired) I received, in 3 of the years I joined in the SS, 1 blank video tape and 2 IOU's (and never did receive the presents). I would never ever join in another SS except among good friends.

UnderPressure

Hello

Dont mind answering your questions at all

Vanquis card is purely for credit building no balance left on it at all cleared in fulll by direct debit every month and always will be.

Landlord was a star he is only round the corner from us so could see what was happening no arrears now all paid up a few months ago now, he is disabled through an accident at work a few years ago so we got more understanding from him than we ever expected, we had been excellent tenants for the best part of 5 years previously though never a day late not even once up until the "dark days............."

Life is quite positive now looking forward to UNI, it is costing a fortune as no financing available for our circumstances which is fine it is an investment in our future.

All the problems mentioned such as no heating etc etc are all well in the past now it has been a long hard slog but eventually we have got there, not overly concerned about saving at the moment TBH completely wrong of me I know and it is the first time in my life I have not had any savings what so ever but I dont see it as a big deal at the moment we have more than enough money coming in now to do and pay everything we need to do, left over money is now used for things that make life a little easier especially for my partner she is just about to start driving again so we are about to buy her a new (2nd hand) car this weekend, exciting times for us all

The children especially the older 2 have a great understanding of money, they do chores etc to earn pocket money and save for things they love coming to the car boot sale with me on a Sunday for a walk round and it is great they have their own money that they have earnt and make their own spending decisions with it.

They (as far as I know) have not really been affected by the evets of the last 2 years, I am sure they know we have had hard times they would have to have been blind not to notice but they have not been privvy to any information or indeed problems, I thought it was important to keep it from them I did not want them to feel insecure in any way I knew it was only a matter of time before I got back on top again which I have now more than done

It is difficult to think of the future when you are going through such problems but there is a future and a light at the end of the tunnel although sometimes it does seem faint it is there, positive mental attitude helped me hugely I have never been one to accept the hand life has dealt me and although this wa by far my toughest challenge and invariably it did get to me for a time I came through it and now am even stronger than before.

Anyhow thanks for at least asking about my story I hope others reading this now have a bit more understnading of my situation and comments.

All the best to you and yours

bluebag

katiegizmo wrote: »

I'm still ploughing through this thread catching up - page 86 now no less!

I just wanted to come on and have a really quick moan, well a rant really!!! why does my office insist on doing secret santa??? Am I a scrooge? I hate being told to buy an extra present - I don't want one for myself from someone else, I just want to keep my money for myself! A couple of years ago I refused to do it as I was in the process of moving house and was stressed and no money - wasn't buying for my family so I refused to buy for others -, and I had a complaint made against me! said I was not a team player so I don't dare refuse again as I was made to feel awful! GRRRRR!!!! not much money, I prob can spare it I just don't want to GRRRR!!!!!

They sound like a right lot, fancy making a complaint, totally childish.
I'd wrap up a nice pack of Tena lady for them.:)

ceridwen

Mrs_Veg_Plot wrote: »

DH came home last night with the news that if no sales come into the company in the next two weeks (which does not look likely) they will be letting him go. You can imagine how that affected the depression he is denying he is suffering from. It does not help that he does not like the job either. I was torn between worrying about our finances if he does loose the job and thinking that he might be better off in himself if he was not dragging himself into a job he dislikes everyday.
The good news today is that he has been head hunted by an old colleague that he has previously worked very well with and they are offering him a job with them as soon as he likes. It was lovely to see him smile about it, it made me realise just hoe little he smiles these days. The plan is to stay where he is until the end of the month (to make sure he gets paid) and then start with the new company at the beginning of December. Down side is that he will be a month without wages over christmas/new year but with a bit of careful planning we will cope with this. The freezer is already full and I will make sure the store cupboards are stocked up.

So - your hubby's job loss is what they mean by a "blessing in disguise" then in your/his case:D. Its good news that he will be able to leave a job he hates and have one he will prefer whenever he likes afterwards:D. A good boost to morale as well to be headhunted:D

New Year - New Start for you then..

mustbemad68

So - overall - if they want to help out and can afford to do so - then take it that it "goes against the parental grain" to see their children suffering financially (even if they're quite old themselves by now......) and say "Thank you" graciously.[/QUOTE]

Thanks, I think I will as it will not affect them financially and it seems to make them happy.
Going to be a chilly couple of weeks until we get a new one in though!

lauren_1

Christmas is done and paid for, went slightly over budget by about £20 for dd, ds got a drum kit off of ebay for £50 and a triple pack of thomas dvd's for £5 from asda, dd got a violin for £50 from ebay and a pink ipod for £20 too.

I got my brother some 'just for men' from the 99p shop too, he's prematurely going grey :rotfl:

My sister will probably get something that smells of vanilla and a can of pimms (we purposely buy the most useless presents, last years was a hula hoop :T)

i am thinking about this for my mum? claims to have £250 off?

http://www.lookfantastic.com/christmas/women/make-up/elizabeth-arden-deco-box-colour-collection-15-products.html?basket_add=1&basket_item=42730#

They also are on Quidco giving 7% back, just a quick note to say if anyone does order from them they will offer you a link to get £15 off your next order but you have to sign up to a membership and pay £10 a month, they supply some traders with cheap cosmetics so not a con in itself but can look a bit dodgy.

My kids are just being let lose in oxfam with a £5 each to get nannies and grannies present, they dont mind and nanny loved the thomas the tank engine book ds got her last year! lol