Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

Fruball

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooh i got the first post on the page Its like getting a brand new exercise book at school :rotfl:

zarazara

I'm sorry to post this but I dont know what to do. My 22 year old son drinks.He had huge problems with it a few year ago and last year his GF threw him out and he returned home and said he wouldnt drink again, but he is. I am at my wits end. I dont know what to do.

Pitlanepiglet

Hi Zara, this must be a really tough situation for you, I don't have any useful advice or experience that could help. I can only offer big hugs and to say that it's very brave of you to talk about it, hopefully this will be a turning point for you. I'm sure others can be more helpful xxx

mambury

zarazara,

I can only tell you about my experience and drinkers...
My sister has an alcohol problem, a drug problem and serious self esteem issues. She has only ever stopped drinking when she has decided to.

I guess what I am trying to say is that you cannot stop him drinking, only he can chose to do that, but what you can do (and I have done this myself) is tell him how you feel about his drinking in a calm a rational manner. Tell him that you will always be there for him, but there will come a time that you cannot because of his drinking. It is not easy loving someone who has a drinking problem, so it might be worth you seeking advice from groups/charities like the AA for yourself. You need to keep strong.

Please feel free to PM me if you want ! I am more than happy to help.

Fruball

zarazara wrote: »

I'm sorry to post this but I dont know what to do. My 22 year old son drinks.He had huge problems with it a few year ago and last year his GF threw him out and he returned home and said he wouldnt drink again, but he is. I am at my wits end. I dont know what to do.

Hi Zara - Just wanted to offer my support. There are books at the library about alcohol dependance... They are usually aimed at the drinker but would prob be useful for families too.

Sadly alcohol dependance is an illness despite what people may say about it being self inflicted etc... Maybe make an appointment with your own GP and discuss it with him/her and they might be able to offer some advice?

(((hugs)))

mambury

I would like to add to Frugals comment.... Alcohol dependance tends to be a symptom and not the main problem itself. Is he under particular stress, anxiety, etc???

katholicos

zarazara wrote: »

I'm sorry to post this but I dont know what to do. My 22 year old son drinks.He had huge problems with it a few year ago and last year his GF threw him out and he returned home and said he wouldnt drink again, but he is. I am at my wits end. I dont know what to do.

Zara, so very sorry to read about your DS problem. It must be so very difficult for you as his mother. I wonder if you would contact Al -Anon. It is an organisation set up for people who are affected by other peoples drinking and offers support. I know it is your son with the drinking problem, but maybe you will find this helpful for yourself so that you can better help and support your son?

Hippeechiq

mambury wrote: »

zarazara,

I can only tell you about my experience and drinkers...
My sister has an alcohol problem, a drug problem and serious self esteem issues. She has only ever stopped drinking when she has decided to.

I guess what I am trying to say is that you cannot stop him drinking, only he can chose to do that, but what you can do (and I have done this myself) is tell him how you feel about his drinking in a calm a rational manner. Tell him that you will always be there for him, but there will come a time that you cannot because of his drinking. It is not easy loving someone who has a drinking problem, so it might be worth you seeking advice from groups/charities like the AA for yourself. You need to keep strong.
.

Firstly - big hugs zarazara :grouphug:

Mambury has given very good advice.

My Dad became an alcoholic after my Mum died, they were everything to each other and he just couldn't cope with the pain of losing her.

It's an ugly dependence during which the person who is dependent undergoes a complete personality change, and it's damned hard to watch and be on the receiving end of.

I echo what Frugal has said. It is too easy for society to say that it's self inflicted and wash their hands of it.

Have you offered to help him book into rehab? My brother and I booked my Dad in twice, and both times he did well, but ultimately, he didn't want to stop drinking and started again when he came out, but I still believe in it as a treatment - his problem was that he still had to face coming back to an empty house and my Mum not being there.

Ultimately, it took the loss and withdrawal of my brothers love and support to bring him to his senses. When he saw what he had lost, and what he had become, he wanted to stop, and did.

As mambury has said - your Son needs to want to stop drinking, and maybe if you can find out what is causing him to be so unhappy that he needs to seek comfort from a bottle, you might have your first step into helping him beat his addiction.

Try and see if he is open to the suggestion of rehab, as that would be a terrific place to start.

katholicos

Here are some other resources that you may find helpful

Alcohol Dependence Info

Counselling for Alcohol Dependence

Mentalhealth and Alcohol Dependence

Living with someone with Alcohol Dependence

Alcoholics Anonymous

katholicos

Annie56 wrote: »

Hello all,:p

Im ok thank you for your concern it will take more than a few nasty written words to send me scurrying off...

Well today has been very Old Style Monsiour Monty has been giving me lectures on Jam making, after my last batch went mouldy:cool::cool: so its sterilise jars and other things, he sounds like me granny but his advice is good and his strawb jam on the scones I made is to die for....sshhhhhh dont let him know that or he wil get like some men bigheaded.

Have cleared the last of the allotment ready for winter, and had the nods of approval from the elder allotment gents, one of em said well youve done ok lass we thought you would be a six wek wonder....:T wasnt sure if to be huffed or puffed up but think it was a compliment.

got my first order from Better Deal food thingey :eek: 20 jars of Sharwoods Lemon & Ginger Stir Fry Sauce ....have any of you used the pizza thing yet or the scone/doughnut mix let me know how you get on

Got to dash... keep well all....warmest wishes

Annie 56

Annie, i don't like the taste of the stir fry sauce but am using it, bit by very miniscule bit...the scone mix plus 100% free did not arrive. I emailed them and was refunded £1 so was not best happy as of course i could have used the weight left minus the scone mix, to order other things that would arrive. Big Brands for Less didn't offer to send me the scone mix with 100% free unfortunately.