Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

Lindy_-_Loo

Weather is lousy here but weve been to mums and Ive inherited 2 packs of chicken quarters from her - not sure what to do with them yet as waiting for tesco delivery at minute ans got lots of chicken coming!

Had a lovely letter of the bank, gone £1.78 overdrawn so there giving us a nice £22 charge. Thats £44 this month - something has gone seriously wrong with the finances this month, I think its as we had new 3 in 1 coats from TJ's and I needed shoes for winter as only had summer shoes. Boys outgrown everything, part way thru a sort of their clothes as we got free ebay listing this weekend, today alone 3 pairs of ethans jeans/combats dont fit him. Hes had a growth spurt this month. Watching a couple of bits on ebay so if our stuff sells I will get them, mainly bundles of boys clothes for Aaron, as hes the oldest he doesnt have anyone to get stuff off.

sorted out their books and got lots for the school to use in their new mums and tots group.

bluebag

jackieglasgow wrote: »

I think though that in sammy's particular case, she is thinking about her two young children, and what leaving at that time for work would mean in terms of practicalities, it also takes a lot of time out of your day as a parent, that could/should be spent with your child.

Went back to full time work when my youngest was 6 weeks old, had to as was in debt and totally skint and my maternity pay was going to half rate.

I used to get up at 5am to get them both fed and dressed and out to the childminder, I picked them up at 6.30pm.

I would spend the short evening doing baths and laundry and had very little time to play with either of them.

I spent the weekends cleaning and shopping alone with two babies as my OH worked shifts.

It was a nightmare and it eventually made me ill, I would not recommend it to anyone. It seems a dark tunnel of dispair when I think back on it.

Hardup_Hester

Thakns for the link Grandma247, very useful

Margaret54

Thanks so much for the advice and tips about job applications charlies-aunt.My ds is currently unemployed and is in the job centre Mon to Fri and in the agencies and looking the paper too. I really do appreciate you taking the time to type all that,and I will pass it on to ds.

ceridwen

Sammy

What do I know - as a childless person?...but my thought is if shes screaming for it (ie food) - then she needs it...give your nerves a break and feed her the amount you think she needs.

Reet - on a different tack - been to LETS meeting and anyone who hasnt investigated to see if they have a local LETS scheme yet might like to do so. (Its a skills bartering scheme for those who havent heard of it - and some surplus produce/carboot sale type goods swap hands for LETS Credits too.).

We've been doing some extensive discussion of how we can "update" as a group. Upshot - we're about to swop our "static" website for an interactive one - where members can instantly change their needs/wants/see what sort of things they can offer as services to others when they join/etc. (We have a very healthy bank balance - so the £500 maximum we estimated it will cost isnt a problem - but, in the event, we have some suitable members to do some of the work and keep the cost down for us). We will be keeping our "paper" system as well for those who dont have access to the Internet/dont wish to broadcast any details publicly (as I pointed out - you never know if a new member might be someone who has escaped to our part of the country from being a battered wife elsewhere in the country - and clearly they have to be protected against any risk of Nasty Ex finding them). So - we're nearly good to go on that:D - and I suspect a lot of other LETS groups are looking at making themselves more accessible to those looking to join us.

We will also be having some targeted membership drives - young mums and areas locally that we don't have any members in. So - we've clarified exactly who we are looking to draw into membership in my own group and we're good to go on that too:D

Me - I came back with 4 pots of preserves (all sugar-free to suit my tastes:D) - so I've got plum and apple chutney, rhubarb jam with lemon zest, gooseberry preserve and blackcurrant jam. Plus some rocket and apples and 4 books on a subject that interests me personally. I "sold" some clothes and books I didnt want and have managed to clear a bit of my debit balance. A new member - just introducing herself to us for the first time leapt straight in at the deep end and will be hosting a Christmas party for us this year:D Good times:D

Anyways for those wondering - a linking website for LETS Schemes nationally is:

http://www.letslinkuk.net/

lilac_lady

I try to use cash for all shopping and draw the same amount every week. I keep any surplus in a tin and when I had unexpected visitors last week and didn't want to cook, I treated us to a takeaway meal, courtesy of the tin.

It's lovely to spend money on things you don't normally buy. Cheers us up if it doesn't break our budgets.

maryb

Sammy
My elder DD was well into the 90th centile for weight at 3 months but I didn't take any grief from the HV and she only went through the motions largely, I think, because I was an older mum and articulate and not easy to push around. Some of them are bullies, there is no doubt, and they will back off if you stand your ground. Do you have any family photos of yourself/sister/parents etc as small babies? These patterns of growth are often inherited and if you can point to a Michelin man baby subsequently growing up to be a skinny rake it will give you more confidence.

FWIW little Miss Hollowlegs stopped eating at 15 months and it was a case of coaxing her to eat for the next couple of years. She didn't start eating properly again until she was old enough to walk reasonable distances, which gave her an appetite. Unsurprisingly she slimmed down. From what I've seen that's very common - I have a theory that babies tend to stop eating much round about the time Mum would have been giving birth again in primitive times and wouldn't have had much attention to spare - it's a survival mechanism

pennywisepoundstupid

Sammy my son was a hungry baby and could only be descibed as a real chodder, he had rolls of fat on his legs and arms and a double chin and i laugh now thinking about him and love looking at photos of him as a baby he was so cuddly and gorgeous, he's now six and is like a beanpole, but still eats and eats, i found once he was moving and on the go it just fell off him. I was also told by HV when he was around 9 months that he was over weight and was feeding him too much, i just smiled nodded and agreed to everything she said, went home and continued doing what i knew was best for MY child. I really think your HV has a problem and i truely think you need to put a complaint in against her, If i lived closer to you i'd give her a piece of my mind for you, the women sounds like a bully.

Cold up here in north Lancashire, woodburners going and washing on dryer next to it.
Did anyone see river cottage the other night regrding making own yoghurt as i can't remember if he boiled the milk or not, hubby works on a dairy farm and can bring home milk thought i would have a go at making yoghurt as we eat loads and would work out free for us, well would need to buy first tub of live yoghurt.

Margaret54

I too had a run in with a hv many many years ago, and she really upset me. I was unable to stand up for myself at the time, not a lot of confidence, but I remember her well. You have had a lot of good advice here sammy-kaye, so can't really add to any of it. You are a great Mum and just you look after yourself and your wee family, and let that hv run on.:) Margaret xx

ceridwen

SAMMY

Still thinking about you at intervals and am now remembering my mothers comments about the fact that she got two TOTALLY different children. If she had raised/fed my sibling the same way she had raised me it would have all gone pearshaped on her. We were/are very very different indeed. So thats the viewpoint of a childless person FWIW - just because one child needed to be fed/brought up one way doesnt mean the second one can be treated the same. My mother did eventually learn that she had to treat us both TOTALLY differently - because we were/are SO different to each other. Hollie may just have a bigger appetite than her brother - fair 'nuff....what do I know again (childless person here...)...but SHE knows what she needs I'm sure...even at that age. Blow that Health Visitor I would say...(I wouldnt say that to everyone - but I can see you do care and are trying to work out whats best...so I do think you probably know better than her in this case.).