Its tough, it will get better and guess what its freezing brrrrr!

AnnieG

Hello
Sammy... you're doing a brilliant job. The HV is only there to offer advice, what they say isn't the law so I think ignoring her and going with your instinct is exactly right.
I've massively under achieved today, took DS to hand over to his dad for the weekend, then went to Morrisons for some shopping and to collect my coat from the dry cleaners, came home and realised that the house is revolting and needs a good scrub, but was realyl tired so thought I'll just have a little snooze, then get up, go and get a lottery ticket then clean the house. I woke up 4 and a half hours later Oops.
Then when I woke up I was freezing, so put the heating on for a blast and have had dinner and thought stuff the house, I'll do it in the morning. I'm going to get into bed with a nice mug of tea and watch some nonsense on telly.
I joined the local LETS scheme, well, signed up online, but don't think I've got much I can offer really so I'm a bit reluctant to get involved. Perhaps I'll have another look.
Quick question.... can I still grow herbs this time of year? I really like a big bowl of pasta with lemon juice, salt and pepper and a handful of fresh herbs, but mine seem to have died and I don't want to buy them from the supermarket because they're so expensive. So, I'd like to grow some. Advice appreciated!

bluebag

Sammy it sound like your health visitor is going totally by the book, the trouble is babies are not one size fits all.
Either way, I think she should be working with you rather than stressing you out.

Is there any chance of speaking to your GP and trying to see some other sort of health care professional. It might be worth explaining that you are just not on the same page and are finding it very stressful and not in any way supportive.

flowertotmum

Sammy kaye..ignore her..as a mum of 6 i can assure you that your doing a great job...all babies are different believe me...if your happy then your baby will be happy...i have had a few HV who recite mantra at me about babies weight,height etc..unless they have got children then ignore them hun...i had one who made my life a misery ..just turning up..i had 3 little ones and a new born baby..i was not in the mood for her and she told me i was doing it wrong and that the government advice was correct..i asked politely how many babies she had ..she said none..i told her to fluff off..and come back when she had more than a book to read from..i.e life experience and a baby or 2 of her own..needless to say she never came back...my current HV is great she said if you need me you know my number..thats what they are supposed to do..be there for you not harrass you...i weaned my babies at different times..the second baby at 9 wks with baby rice coz she was so hungry all the time and the HV just said thats fine..mind you that was 22yrs ago...times change...but babies are all different..
By the way your little boy is eating quite good...its nothing to worry about..he has a normal healthy appetite..
right 'm off..going to have a cuppa and see if i can arrange to get this huge wardrobe to my house..need to get it sorted ..it drives me mad when people drag things out and never do what they say they will...lazy sods..
take care

gailey_2

Ok no one shoot me down think hv has been a nitemare but I would be weary about putting rusk in bottle as read its choking hazzard.

I would offer some solids for supper before nightime milk feed and maybe make nitetime feed couple more oz that other feeds. So by all means start solids at 4months but have set solid meals,milk seperate and keep offering more boiled water as she will need more fluids on solids other than that feed er what you feels best start on one food at a time think carrots was first veg and apples/banana fisrt fruit, keep a diary just to check no allergies or reactions to different things. I think rusks are good snack and something to knaw on when teething between meals or maybe as a dessrt.

Completly lazy I know and not very oldstyle did make most of my own baby food with 1st honest!I was a pureeing maniac and it was all organic weaned 1st at 5months 2nd at 6.But im big fan of plum baby and ellas kitchen pouches think they 99p a a pouch and at 4months in fridge would be enough for 2-3servings,eldest liked the dessert ones as bit of a change from yogurt and the plum baby suppost to contain superfoods think blueberry and banana was her fave.

Also no expert on milks but maybe try a change of brand not sure how they differ but people seem to have their faves, used hipp organic with my 1st was one of cheaper brands on market too.

Got homemade rusk recipie if you want it sammy.

Loving hughs everyday series too want book for xmas.
was quite taken by yogurt but unsure what live yogurt to buy is it clearly labelled in supermarket.

Definatly going to give cereal bar a try as cost small fortune on weetabix bars.

Do love a good fry up wasent too sure about his brinner recipies.
Love pancakes must make them more often and the drop pancakes good always wondered how they made as often buy them in reduced section for kids.

Im shattered.

Hoovered downstairs.
done lot of washing
cleaned kitchen.

Took eldest to a new softplay we not tried as had 2 for 1 voucher and was cheap as the supersoftplay at mall charges adults for admission too and was too busy.
Anyway sat nav couldent find the place drove round in circles hubby getting very streesed eventually found it and was 3pounds for both girls too play and wasent too busy and well supervised with split areas so happy.
Eldest been so good wanted to treat her.

Then made mistake of doing farmfoods as was just round corner with aim to save petrol as the 2farmfoods in city not exactly close to ours.

My 1year old kicked off so hubby took her to car.

Eldest applied pressure power and got some extra stuff I wouldent normally have brought.

got lots of milk and bread cant belive its been so cheap and for so long!
I had to do shop bymyself not knowing what hubby wanted but think i got some good stuff. Got some quorn knowing ubby whinge but good backup at end of month when we run out of food.

Got to till point eldest tried to help bless her , cashiers thourght she was cute.
Ours does not have conveyer belt so slows things down.
cashier said take no notices of dates on vouchers and was really nice unlike lidls who shuv you aside and sometimes rude.

came to 120pounds! Was a overflowing trolly mind.
so used 10quid off voucher.she said if I spend another 4pounds can use 2.50 voucher too so got huge box of apple juice cartons and got 12.50 in total making it 113quid but that will last us over a month definatly.

Got out to stressed hubby as he had screaming baby in car for half an hour.
she was tantrum mode as wanted to run round farmfoods, wouldent stay in trolly and was tired.

Think we spent under 200 so far this month for us which is good.
Think we will need some more milk before 15th
toilitries and washing up liquid.
fruit but going to see what aldis super 6 is as hubby works next door as its extra trip here as no where near us we have a lidls close by.

Got home hubby stressed so got baby changed, bottle and in bed.
got eldest drinka nd tv on.
told hubby to go out for fag as hes having breakdown over freezer and treatening to bin my 20bags of plums which I do plan to do something with just not got round to it as been so sick.

Well pulled out everything in freezer and reorganised it with piato products one side, veg the other, fish, pizza and chicken in middle with bread squeezed on top only just did it infact had to defrist some tuff in fridge and take stufgf out of packaging to make it all fit, wish we had 2freezers wondering if could pick one up 2nd hand as chest good sometimes but stuff gets buried.

Then had urge to stocktake and organise cupboard and fridge.
down to last bag plain flour so need more.got lots selfraising left but been using plain more.
Got 3bags of bread flour, 2 bread mixes that make 4loaves and 1pasta flour thankfully still got lots of dried as last attempt at homemade pasta was terrible.

wanted to batchcook tommrow and freeze but cant unless eat something frozen.
Not sure what to do think whatver i make may keep in fridge 2-3days allow us to eat some frozen and then freeze.

just running a bath and hopefully getting early night.
Hubbys taking eldest somewhere tommrow as got his son for day so unsure what hes going to do to occupy them so just me and babe so hoping to get somethings done as got list to complete.

MummyOfTwo

evening all
finally sat down after a relaxed but full day. started off with the gobsmacked realisation that hubby and I had woken of our own accord;) and that DS was still snoring at 8am. just had time to inform the Guinness Book of Records before he yelled 'daddy! i done a poo!'...
came down to bread all baked in the machine, so we had bacon sarnies and got the lego token in the paper. then my copy of Takeaway secret came through the letterbox! its was all a bit MSE! had a walk round the shop, DS wanted to look at all the 'weeeeeeen' (halloween!) things. came home and baked scones to go with my bargain bin 5pm clotted cream i got last night.... and tested out a fudge recipe with actually worked. sadly tho, i cant leave it alone....:A

Rosanna79

I have lurked on the forum for ages but when I read Sammy Kaye's account of her health visitor I had to come out of 'lurkdom'!
I am, thankfully, a retired health visitor as of April this year. I say thankfully because of the way things are going in my former profession. I am appalled to hear of the way Sammy has been treated. Whilst health visitors are required to use what is called 'evidence based practice' they are not supposed to treat young mothers as though they are idiots.

First of all Sammy she should be making an appointment to visit you and she have no automatic right of entry to your home. You are perfectly within your rights to tell this H/V to return to base if it's inconvenient to visit and to make a prebooked appointment.

As for where babies are on the centile (growth charts), when they are ready to wean etc etc does vary like everything else.

One of the most neglected things I observed during my years of practice was a failure to measure a baby as well as weigh it. I had so many young mums in tears because they'd been told by a colleague that their baby was overweight etc. Once the child was measured as well it was very often the case that the length and weight were on the same part of the chart i.e. the weight and length were normal for that baby.

On enquiring as to the dad's height and build it was not uncommon for the young man concerned to uncoil himself from his chair in clinic and inform me he was 6ft 4!! Also asking grandparents about family build was another useful way of discovering that family's growth patterns etc.

Parents are the experts on their own children and professionals ignore that fact at their peril. Also the H/V is NOT there there at 2 am when the baby is screaming for food during growth spurts. Babies have these in the same way as teenagers. You don't forbid your adolescent access to the fridge. Why would a parent refuse to feed their screaming baby?

I have been really touched and impressed by the useful and helpful posts put on this thread for Sammy as well as the very supportive community this thread has developed into.

On a personal note, since my health packed up 18 months ago eventually forcing me into retirement it has become necessary to live a much more frugal lifestyle. My husband and I supplement our pensions by growing a lot of our own food in what can only be described as a suburban size garden. It's a completely different lifestyle and one we are gradually growing into. I was fortunate to learn to cook from scratch as a young girl. When my mother returned to nursing in the early 1960's to supplement the family income, it fell to me in the then sexist northern environment I grew up in to run the house. It wasn't always something I appreciated at the time but I guess I learned a lot of useful lifeskills in the process.

I find reading this thread very interesting and feel quite deprived if I haven't caught up each day! For someone who never goes near a social networking site it has taken a lot for me to make this move. I look forward to joining this community.

mags50_2

welcome rosanna
you'll love it on here!

MummyOfTwo

welcome rosanna:j
lovely to hear from a nice sensible HV!!! i have to admit, the HV for my son, aged 2, has been fab. there when i needed anything, and out of my hair the rest of the time. i had a shocker for my daughter, aged 7. came into my home when DD was 10 days old to tell me i needed to get exercising if i ever wanted my figure back!!!!!!!!

stiltwalker

Welcome Rosanna,

This board is a very friendly bunch, not that long since I came out of lurkdom myself and catching up on here has become a valued part of my day. As a mum of a small person with another on the way it's lovely to hear from a professional that we are all doing the right thing listening to our mummy instincts. I've had my own issues with one or two of the HVs in my area as well as a MW and the staff on the ward after I had my DD were less than helpful so its good to know that there are some good 'uns out there even if your health has forced you to retire.

I hope you find lots of tips to help you with frugaldom on here and good company for those day when frugaldom seems a bit miserable.

NualaBuala

Great post Rosanna! :T Hope to hear more from you.