Broken down and very scared

little_miss_T

globetraveller wrote: »

Is moving to Australia a lot easier than it used to be? Don't you need points?
I've just read your whole thread and it seems incredible that you have gone through everything including you nearly dying, your mum and dad being in hospital. Perhaps its purely because I read the thread all in one go that talk of a move to Australia now seems even more incredible.
Going into a new relationship and immediately concentrating on getting a rock on your finger and moving to Australia sounds a bit like escapeism to me. Did things move as quickly with your husband? Shouldn't you be absolutely certain you are not making another mistake- and surely that involves taking time to find out?

first of all, i am not concentrating on getting a rock on my finger, it was something that was discussed, and that was it.. why does moving to oz seem incredible?? this feels very much like your judging me?? dont i deserve the chance to be happy? havent i learnt that life is too short to not take chances when they are offered?

globetraveller

I just think that if you are moving to Australia to be with a partner who was only a friend a couple of months ago then if it doesn't work out its a lot more difficult to sort. Too much has happened in such a short space of time. You need to really think about this- are you just escaping?? It sounds a bit like a fairy story. You want a happy ending but have you thought about it? Investigated what moving to a far off place entails? What about leaving your parents who have also had a bad time recently?
And judging by the lack of response from others who have followed your tale I'm guessing that I'm not the only one questioning this- others probably just didn't want to write it down.
You need to think of the negatives as well.
And by the way, I only mentioned the rock because that was the first thing you mentioned after you said about your trip to Australia.
Someone could write a novel on your story, so much has happened so perhaps that is why you are thinking of emigrating.
Supportive posts don't always have to agree with what you write- sometimes you need to have someone to suggest you slow down.

little_miss_T

globetraveller wrote: »

I just think that if you are moving to Australia to be with a partner who was only a friend a couple of months ago then if it doesn't work out its a lot more difficult to sort. Too much has happened in such a short space of time. You need to really think about this- are you just escaping?? It sounds a bit like a fairy story. You want a happy ending but have you thought about it? Investigated what moving to a far off place entails? What about leaving your parents who have also had a bad time recently?
And judging by the lack of response from others who have followed your tale I'm guessing that I'm not the only one questioning this- others probably just didn't want to write it down.
You need to think of the negatives as well.
And by the way, I only mentioned the rock because that was the first thing you mentioned after you said about your trip to Australia.
Someone could write a novel on your story, so much has happened so perhaps that is why you are thinking of emigrating.
Supportive posts don't always have to agree with what you write- sometimes you need to have someone to suggest you slow down.

if it doesnt work out, i come home.. i dont want a fairy story, im not a silly little girl who thinks i will get a happy ever after from this.. i know its going to be hard.

my parents are very supportive.

and people who have followed my "tale"? are you suggesting that this is at all made up?

im not going to move there tomorrow, i know it is going to take alot of hard work and planning before i go ahead..

Shoe_Gal

Don't be sidetracked by other people's opinions, however well meaning! Only you know what is best for you, and generally people regret things they don't do - not the things they do!

You have shown how well you can look after yourself when the chips are down so I say go for it - you've always got coming back as your back up plan

Butti

Hi little miss T,

I hope Australia goes well for you and that your new relationship works. God knows you've shown some guts and gumption to turn things around.

I don't think people are judging you, I hope they aren't. I think they are maybe just concerned at the speed of the move to Australia. As someone who is looking into an Aussie visa I know it won't be an amazingly quick process.

I am really glad you have a Plan B. Please keep it this way.

I had a friend who left this country for Australia. She'd left an abusive relationship with her father, married and moved cutting all ties with her family. She's now in Australia in an abusive marriage with two kids, effectively trapped and very isolated.

Good luck. I have immense admiration for you.

B

little_miss_T

Thank you shoe gal and butti for your words, and genuine support.. And you know who you sound like globetraveller? My husband.. He said to me "how can you even think about going to Australia when your mam has been so ill"??? my mam and dad want me to do it, they want me to live life to the full, and they will be there for me if it doesn't work.. You are allowed your opinion, and if you think I should spend the rest of my days wallowing, you think that, but it int going to happen.. Everything that has happened over last 9 or so months has taught me that life really is too short to not take chances.

tommytynan123

You must not do ''scared'' - ever. Whats the worse that can happen ? I suppose a coffee in the county court getting a CCJ is about the worst. BUT those organisations would not do that if you are paying a regular amount even if the amount is not very high.
We DO NOT do scared. Well done so far.

globetraveller

Butti wrote: »

I am really glad you have a Plan B. Please keep it this way.

I had a friend who left this country for Australia. She'd left an abusive relationship with her father, married and moved cutting all ties with her family. She's now in Australia in an abusive marriage with two kids, effectively trapped and very isolated.

Good luck. I have immense admiration for you.

B

This is what worried me. Its amazing how many women on leaving an abusive relationship run headlong into another one.
Two months ago he was a friend. Now he is a partner. And he is in Australia so that's some jump.
Just be careful.

donnap83

Without wanting to put a dampener on your travel plans, have you actually considered how you will emigrate to Australia i.e. Visa's etc. I work for Aus Immigration, and obtaining a visa in the current financial climate is incredibly difficult. At best, you may only be able to obtain a Working Holiday Visa, for 12 months

little_miss_T

donnap83 wrote: »

Without wanting to put a dampener on your travel plans, have you actually considered how you will emigrate to Australia i.e. Visa's etc. I work for Aus Immigration, and obtaining a visa in the current financial climate is incredibly difficult. At best, you may only be able to obtain a Working Holiday Visa, for 12 months

Yes I have looked into it, quite extensively, and I know how difficult it is going to be, which is why I said I know it is going to take a lot of hard work and planning.. Maybe I should have jot said anything about wanting to move there.

And globetraveller.. I AM being carefu