Shared custody and effecting benefits?

Rikki

You have two children and he only looks after one of them for three days of the week to me that is only 25% custody.

It looks to me like he is making out he is not available to work full time. He can jsa once he makes himself available for work.

dmg24 wrote:

It sounds like his claim has been sanctioned because he is unreasonably limiting his availability for work.

You are being pressurised as you are vulnerable at the moment. Most absent parents see their children every other weekend plus one night in the week.Take some legal advice.

mumof1and1ontheway

penny pincher I provide all nappies and wipes and have offered to send food and give money towards. i also give him 4 healthy start vouchers a month towards fruit, veg and milk.
if i could work out that i should be giving him a set amount then i would do that but he refuses. he is wanting the letter so he can get jsa back dated as thats evidence as to why he was unable to look for work on the days that he has his eldest son.
if i should indeed give him an amount of my cb and tax credits i am fine with that, but i would do it via standing order so its recorded. im just curious as to if i sign the letter saying he has 50/50 custody of my eldest can that be used against me in some way in the future if end up on bad terms?

BitterAndTwisted

Look, your eldest child's father is choosing not to work and using the time spent caring for the child as an excuse. Next thing you know he'll be claiming primary care-giver's status and expecting you to pay him maintenance when he's got permanent custody. Is that the "ending up on bad terms" worst-case scenario you are asking for?

mumof1and1ontheway

can I just add aswell I am not someone who will be on benefits for aslong as i can. i am currently doing an open uni course so that i can return to uni in a few years. and have looked into voluntary work at the hospital. also considering a full time science course next year at college. but the problem i have is if i want to put the kids into childcare the ex offers to have them (he doesnt see why i should put them in childcare when he is available and willing).
but then he would be having them more than 50% of the time which means he is then entitled to the IS, CB and TC which means i can then not do my course iygwim? plus the childcare for my youngest would be free at college.. and my son would be 3 so in nursery 5 mornings a week anyway.

i doubt i will return to uni now until both kids are in school full time because of this reason. so in the meantime, as soon as my youngest is not breastfed i will look for part time work. but im not sure how i will work out childcare or dad seeing them etc etc.

why cant life just be simple? i am not in the best of frame of minds for trying to work all this out atm. i have hospital appts for an mini op i need to have and now it seems i may have to have another from not healing properly from giving birth!

i am not the best at dealing with stress so 2 ops to think about, discomfort from recovery, colic and reflux in my youngest and terrible 2s from my eldest along with a stressful ex and lack of sleep means i am unable to get 2 brain cells to work effectively atm. so i apologise if i keep asking the same questions and seem a bit dumb in some of my replies. along with that i am usually bouncing my 8 week old on my knee while typing or feeding etc lol. hence my lack of good grammer.

also to whoever it was who asked.. i have tried him on colief with what seems like no chance. have also tried him on infacol, dentinox and gripe water. the dr has given him laxatives which he has had the last 2 days but the hv has now told me not to give it to him so everything suggested by one health professional gets contradicted by another which confuses me enough. so i am now having him on no medication because his poor little tummy has had so much put in there, its no wonder he crys so much

Fizzpop

Penny-Pincher!! wrote: »

Sorry, didnt realise the little one was so young!

I agree the ex does need to get a job but in all seriousness he is having their child for 50% of the time, so he should be able to receive something or the OP should be contributing towards living costs for the child as she is receiving money and not looking after the child for 50% of the time.

I can see what you are saying and to a degree i agree with you but by the same token this man is not even paying maintnance for his children either.

Op, He needs to make himself available for work full stop end of, dont sign anything and seek advice.

mumof1and1ontheway

I will speak to someone at CAB on Monday as I have someone dealing with my bankrupcy who is very nice so I will seek his advice on the matter x

Penny-Pincher!!

Sorry, I hadnt read previous threads. CAB sounds like a good idea or maybe the free 30 mins from a family solicitor?

PP
xx

moomoomama27

DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING without seeking legal advice. You should be able to book a half hrs appt for free with a local solicitor. I think he's trying to use your current state to get you to sign things that could possibly backfire in the future for you. Be careful.

balletshoes

mumof1and1ontheway wrote: »

He says he wants jsa until he finds a job. but the job centre will only pay jsa if he provides a solicitors letter stating he has 50/50 custody I have been told. because he refuses to look for work for the days he has our son.
the reason I think I should be giving him money is because I get paid CB and TC for the full time care of both children. and he currently has no income.

he's either been misinformed about JSA, or he's mis-informing you. JSA has nothing to do with caring for children, its for folk who are unemployed, have no substantial savings, and who generally have no disabilities, or caring responsibilites for another adult or child/children. If he's refusing to look for work and has told the Jobcentre that, they're within their rights to withdraw JSA, regardless of if he has childcare responsibilites or not.

mumof1and1ontheway

i have a solicitor whos been dealing with the divorce. but he wasnt too clued up on custody etc information.